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I Tell You #3

Christopher WalkenWhen I was cast for the part of Captain Koons, the solider for Pulp Fiction, I actually did get into character by sticking a watch up my ass for two years. That was much longer than the time between me being cast in the film and when I had finished filming, but great actors don't stop just because they aren't getting paid.

Old women are easy to beat up.

When Steve left Blue's Clues I auditioned to replace him, but one of the producers said that the kids would find me too scary. So, I ran him over with my car.

I demand sacrifice.

I collect every article and interview ever written about me. This archive currently takes up three rooms in my house. I was forced to put my mother in a nursing home, because I needed her room for storage.

Here's something I said about Bugs Bunny in The Washington Post on August 05, 2001:

"He's so smart, he's so funny, he's got such a great attitude. Bugs Bunny is the spirit of New York.

"You can't fool Bugs Bunny. That's all I have to say. He's on to everybody."

My ass. I must have been high when I said that because Bugs Bunny is a faggot.

Don't tempt with your evil ways, sweetie.

They may be able to kick Christopher Walken out of the supermarket, but they can't kick the supermarket out of Christopher Walken.

I lived in a barn for several years in the 80's. Best I ever ate.

Let me clue you in.

I can catch fish just like a bear or a cat.

Plastic is good stuff.

You can have all of my love. You only need to ask.

If I sound hostile in these writings, it is because I just forced to kill several kittens with my fists.