The Epic Slash Poem

Johnny Dangerous - 02/04/04

Slash, the greatest rock musician ever, has gone far too long without proper recognition. That is why I took the responsibility for writing a series of haikus describing Slash. It is sort of in chronologically in order from his humble beginnings to his current career. Some day in the future my poems will have been discovered and a future teacher will be explaining to her class what experts think it’s about, and some kid will say "I think its about a kick ass guitar player." And the teacher will say "No Slash is a metaphor for love and guitar is a metaphor for ass." Then my ghost will come down from the ceiling with the ghost of Slash. Then I shall tell the class "I was in heaven and I heard this women say I love ass, well she’s right, I love KICKING ASS." Then me and Slash will take her out. Then the Ghostbusters will break down the door, but it won’t be good because in the future the Ghostbusters are evil. But they won’t be enough to stop me and Slash, not even close. Here are the haikus.

Nice Hat Look at all that hair It’s wild and out of control Better wear a hat Rock and Roll Listen to that manic wail He is one with the guitar A modern day Hendrix Cool Motherfucker Slash’s look is unique He has big hair and a hat And is always smoking
Beware Look out Slash is here He will rock out all night long Be careful my friend November Rain Get out of that church Grab that guitar and rock out Screw Axl he’s a loser Hurray I hear a wild party Slash must be someplace in town Let us all rejoice
Axl Sucks Axl stormed off stage But Slash did not go with him He lives for the music November Rain 2 Slash will you play the Solo from November Rain That song is awesome Slash is Awesome Up in heaven Jesus Was asked who he likes the most Of course he said Slash Sweet Farewells Slash and Axl often fought He left and formed Slash’s Snakepit It failed horribly Axl Still Sucks Axl refuses to let Slash in the New Guns N Roses This makes Slash sad
Kid Notorious Slash needed some more cash So he appeared in a cartoon It was soon cancelled Velvet Slash has joined a band Named Velvet Revolver, he Hopes it makes money Revolver Velvet Revolver Is coming to a town near you Rock has been reborn