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Meatloaf News

NEWSFLASH- Earlier this week popular singer Meatloaf made an announcement, that he will in fact "do anything for love" however he "won't do that". This comes as a shock to those who thought Meatloaf would do anything for love, even run into hell and back. Meatloaf made the announcement at a press conference where he said "I would do anything for love, But I wont do that, No I wont do that" he explained his statement by saying "And some days it don't come easy, and some days it don't come hard some days it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end. and some nights you breathing fire, and some nights your carved in ice, some nights your like nothing I've ever seen before, or will again." Meatloaf finished the press conference by saying "And maybe I'm crazy, Oh it's crazy and it's true". This statement has sent shockwaves into the Meatloaf community. When questioned about what they think about what Meatloaf had just said one fan was quoted saying "(about Meatloaf) I know you can save me, no one else can save me now but you." In fact it seems that his fans will not desert him at all. The president of the Meatloaf fan club, Herb Malkovich, when questioned if he would continue to support Meatloaf, said "As long as the planets are turning, as long as the stars are burning, as long as your dreams are coming true - You better believe it!" However Herb did express his disappointment that although Meatloaf will do anything for love, he won't do that. No he will not do that, he will do anything for love, anything you've been dreaming of, but he won't do that.

Meatloaf has always been a controversial singer, ever since he announced his strange religious practices. Meatloaf, it turned out did not pray to any of the major deities, rather some days he prays for silence, and some days he prays for soul, and some days he just prays to the god of sex and drugs and rock and roll. Because of this he has been a target of attack by the conservative right, concerned about the influence Meatloaf may have on young, and easily influenced listeners. Reverend Ralph Griffin has been the leader of "The League to End Meatloaf and His Music", or LEMHS for short. Griffin has said that he will battle Meatloaf "as long as the wheels are turning, as long as the fires are burning, as long as your prayers are coming true, you better believe it." When asked about his thoughts on Meatloaf's announcement Griffin dismissed it as nothing but lies. He followed up by saying "He would do anything for love, you now it's true, and that's a fact." 

Dumb Baby reporter Lisa Sullivan was able to secure an interview with Meatloaf. Hopefully this interview will be able to answer any questions readers still having regarding Meatloaf's announcement that he will do anything for love, he would do anything for love, but he won't do that no no no he won't do that.

Lisa Sullivan: Will you raise me up, will you help me down, will you help get me right out of this Godforsaken town, will you make it all a little less cold?
Meatloaf: I can do that, (pauses and thinks), I can do that.
LS: Will you cater to every fantasy that I've got , will you hose me down with holy water if I get too hot, will you take me to places that I've never known?
M: (laughing) I can do that, I can do that.
LS: I know the territory, I've been around. It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down, sooner or later you'll be screwing around.
M: I won't do that! No I won't do that! Anything for love, But I wont do that!

Meatloaf with scowl

[Editor's Note: Meatloaf would also like to advise his fans that "objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are."]