Bush Is Re-Elected
LOL! That is teh political funny I made.
Anyway, President Bush, you won re-election this month. And your victory may
even have been legitimate this time. Not that you would have let a little thing the outcome of
an election determine whether you held office or not. Hell, it'll be damn near
impossible to even get you to leave in 2009. I'm sure. You're not about to let a
pussy ass document like the Constitution get in the way of what you have to do.
This is because you have to protect America, and have kept us safe for as long as you have ruled over us. Even though the 9/11 attacks happened under your watch, that doesn't matter, because you had no way of knowing it was going to happen. And even though six months earlier, you received a memo entitled 'Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States', that doesn't matter, either, because reading is for nerds. No, you have the backing of the people; who trust you to keep us safe. Even though in New York City, where the 9/11 attacks actually happened, 85% of the people voted for John Kerry instead of you, that doesn't matter. Terrorism isn't the issue! No, you are the only man that can stand in the way of a bigger menace to America's way of life: the threat of a nation over run by icky homo-sex.
Hey, you actually won the popular vote this time. 51% of the people voted for you, which in a two man race, is really the least you can do. Actually, you can do less, but that is not a concern. You see, you're the type of president people would like to sit down and have a beer with. I would too, because you're a recovering alcoholic, so having a beer with you would no doubt turn into the funniest damn thing I'll ever see.
Enjoy your second term in office. As a victory gift, here's a big, juicy pretzel. Enjoy.
