Should Family Guy Be Brought Back?
May 1st the popular show Family Guy will be returning. You see Family Guy was cancelled when it was originally shown on Fox, because Fox has a tendency to cancel funny shows in order to make time
for reality shows about people trying to not have sex with whores. Then Adult Swim got a hold of it and Futurama. These two shows raised the standards at Adult Swim which previously were "Let's hope that the people who tune in for Home Movies forget to turn off their TVs." The new Adult Swim strategy became "Let's see how many times a week we can show Futurama and Family Guy." Adult Swim also wanted to make sure they could fuck Home Movies up the ass as much as possible. Home Movies went from being featured prominently to being cancelled and the reruns being put on at the worst possible time, 1:30 Sunday nights. At one point in the history of Adult Swim, they put
Popeye on at that timeslot, for no other reason then no sensible person watches cartoons at that
hour. God damn it Adult Swim, nobody likes Venture Brothers—put that piece of shit on at 1:30,0 let's put Home Movies on at a time normal people can watch it.
Family Guy, unlike Home Movies, got the royal treatment. It and Futurama became the shows Adult Swim would use to boost the ratings of shitty shows nobody wanted to see. Look at Robot Chicken, which is on between two episodes of Family Guy. This automatically makes it the third most popular show on Adult Swim. The combination of high TV ratings, and high DVD sales prompted Fox to finally bring Family Guy back. But will the show really work? Due to Justin Timberlake's magical ability to force woman's clothes to disappear, TV shows have been under extreme scrutiny. Reruns of Family Guy on Fox have been censored in ways in which they weren't when originally aired.. Will the new episodes keep the same charm that the old episodes had? Will the restraint needed to keep the FCC at bay interfere with the show? Is it worth bringing the show back at all?
The more I think about it, the more I think that bringing back Family Guy won't work. One of the reasons that it is so popular is because it ended before it could get dull; the style was fresh then and the jokes funny. If the new Family Guy stays to close to the formula of the old one, it will be stale, if it ventures to far, it will be like a new show entirely. They should just not bring it back, so that it can bask in its aura of possibilities and nostalgia.
Besides I can think of way better alternatives to bring back then Family Guy. There are many more deserving products that could be brought back, like Otter Pops. Those things were great. On a hot summer's day nothing is better then a tasty, refreshing Otter Pop. I remember back when I was young, my mother bought two gigantic boxes of Otter Pops. I'm not sure how many where in each box but it had to be at least 5,000, which was a good thing because going through a large amount of Otter Pops in a short period of time is no difficult task.
At first I was wary of Otter Pops; "I have no need for glorified popsicles" was my train of thought. Then one wonderful day a friend of mine opened my eyes. He had come over and we decided to have a cool treat. A look in the freezer revealed that we had very little available. He wanted to have the Otter Pops but I was unsure. He assured me that they were good, and by god was he ever right. We finished off no less then fifty Otter Pops that day. My life changed forever.
I found there was no Otter Pop I didn't like; even flavors like orange which I don't normally enjoy were great when put in Otter Pop form. The best by far was red. Man back in those days I didn't know much about erections, but I did now that whenever I ate red Otter Pops my pants got a little tighter—scratch that a lot tighter, because of my large penis, my very large penis which often puts other penises to shame because it is so big.
Unfortunately, the supply of Otter Pops eventually ran out. 10,000 Otter Pops may seem like a lot, but that number only lasts about 9 years. One day I went to put more in the freezer and the giant boxes turned out to be empty. I asked my mother to buy some more. Time went by but she never did. I brought up the subject again and the awful truth was revealed: she had been searching for Otter Pops but was unable to find any. It was as if they all had disappeared or had been taken off the market.
Since I can't imagine Otter Pops not being profitable, I can only guess that the Canadian government took steps to keep Otter Pops from being produced. While Otter Pops brought in millions of dollars to the Canadian economy, it had detrimental effect on other goods. Nobody was buying anything but Otter Pops. People would spend their entire paycheck on Otter Pops; workers would call in sick just to stay home eating Otter Pop after delicious Otter Pop. The Canadian government had no choice but to put an end to Otter Pops, less the entire nation be destroyed.
So just because Canadians have no self control we all must suffer. I say bring back the Otter Pop. If Canada suffers economic decline then so be it, the Otter Pop is well worth it. I would gladly give all I have and love just for one bite of a red Otter Pop, and I guarantee there is not one person out there who would disagree with me.