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Kevin Smith Reviews Star Wars Episode III

Kevin Smith and YodaAward winning, critically acclaimed film director, Kevin Smith, was recently invited by George Lucas to a special early screening of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. You read the review here on Kevin Smith's website. I should warn you that the review spoils a lot of scenes in the upcoming film. So, in case you don't want to read it because of the spoilers, here's a summary of the Smith's review with plot descriptions removed:

 

Summary of Kevin Smith's Review of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith:

"Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome. This is the "Star Wars" prequel the haters have been bitching for since "Menace" came out, and if they don't cop to that when they finally see it, they're lying. As dark as "Empire" was, this movie goes a thousand times darker.† It's the best work of art ever put out by mortal men, and you'll be blown away by every single second of this masterpiece. From the excellent dialogue between Anakin and Amidala to Hayden Christensenís superb acting to Jar Jar's antics which always entertain, you'll swear you saw heaven open up when you see this movie.

It's 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times better than "Empire" ever was, I swear, and really reminded me of what a genius Lucas was when he put together Episodes 1 and 2. After watching this glory of cinema (which will never be matched by humanity in a million years) I turned to George Lucas, dropped to my knees, undid his pants, wrapped my mouth around his throbbing unit, and sucked and licked it like I was in the blow job Olympics and going for the gold. In the thirty five minutes it took me to get him hard, I was in almost as much ecstasy as when I last saw "Attack of the Clones." And when he finally shot his sticky load into the back of my throat, I tell you I never tasted anything so sweet.