Our Own Made Up Bill Brasky Quotes
The Bill Braksy sketches were a series of really funny sketches on Saturday Night Live during the 90's when most of the show was horribly unfunny. You can read a sketch here. One day, some friends and me took the time to come up with our own Brasky lines, and I have included some of them on this page.
Bill Brasky deep fried a skunk and fed it to his mother.
Bill Brasky keeps the sun burning.
He threatened the Soviets with Braskyism...they wept.
He performs abortions and the only compensation he will accept is scotch.
He is the father of every human ever.
He wrote Stairway to Heaven and thought it was his worst composition so he sold
it to Jimmy Page.
Bill Brasky once made love to Old Faithful.
Bill Brasky was who Superman was based off of.
Bill Brasky wrote the Bible himself. It was also his idea for the Great Flood, because he likes to do a lot of swimming.
Bill Brasky and me went to a bar one day and we saw a beautiful woman across the room, and I'll be damned if he didn't go over there punch her in the mouth and tell her to buy him a scotch. Long story short he later told me it was his mother.
I once saw Brasky wrestle an alligator. Well he didn't wrestle it as much as
have sex with it, but it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw.
It was Brasky who took out his own rib to create woman, because he was really,
really, horny.
Brasky bought a new watch a few years back, so he gave his old one to his pal
back in England. They took it and made Big Ben.
Brasky's great grandfather is the Quaker Oats Man
Bill Brasky had a brief marriage to the Phillie Phanatic during the 80's to help
the Phanatic get US citizenship. It was love at first, but the marriage fell
apart and they had a messy divorce. The Phanatic ended up with the house and
half of Brasky's tuna sandwich.
Since 1972, every the Presidential candidate to win election has been the man who
most resembles Brasky's penis.
One night at 3 am Bill Brasky broke into my house and grabbed me out of my bed. He told me that this was his house now and threw me out of a second story window. I never saw my wife and kids again.
Mona Lisa is grinning because she was thinking of Bill Brasky.
Dinosaurs get tangled up and trapped in his chest hair.
Bill Brasky shot President Lincoln, then told John Wilkes Booth to take the blame or else he'd fuck his wife. He took the blame, but let's just say Bill Brasky isn't always a man of his word.
Bill Brasky once had sex with my wife. A week later she gave birth to a 37 year old 200 pound Chinaman named Ping Ling.
He has a summer beach house in Jurassic Park.
For headphones Bill Brasky has to duct tape two boom boxes to his enormous head.
Bill Brasky once took a crap on Picasso... not a painting the actual artist.
Bill Brasky drinks coffee in the morning. He's pretty normal at that.