Mail Time

Believe it or not there are actually people who like Dumb Baby enough to write us emails. Not many, though. In fact I have gotten no more then ten, and most of those had to do with that article I wrote making fun of the Power Ranger fans, and most of those people didn't actually like us.

Well I have decided that I have received enough email to make an article where I show the email and comment on it. I have responded to some of these, although I didn't save my responses every time. This is because I never expected that I would end up running out of material and have to resort to an article about the email I get.

The original email will be featured here completely unedited and uncut. All those spelling mistakes are for real. If I do have a response archived it will be edited so that I look more intelligent then when I wrote it. I will also comment on the email so that you can get into my head and know what I am thinking.

This email surprised me because not only was sent 8 months after the article was written but also because I didn't even write the article. Nope that was all Billy there. What bothers me is Tenkuujin denying that he is like the Rangerboard people. Hey, Tenkuujin, we have documented proof that you are like them. If you want your Power Ranger love to be kept a secret then don't go posting on Power Ranger forums about how much you want to make out with Alpha. It also bothers me that he is threatening us with a lawsuit, as it is in no way illegal to accurately document what somebody says in public.

Here is my response:

Aren't you about 8 months late to be complaining about this? Anyway I have consulted the Dumb Baby legal department and they say we don't have to remove your name for two reasons.

1. Putting somebody's internet name and something stupid they said on a website and then making fun of them is in no way illegal .

2. You can't afford a lawyer.

Don't worry though, you didn't do anything to piss off anybody at Dumb Baby, we just hate the Power Ranger community as a whole. I hear there is a new Power Ranger series coming out where they drive police cars or something, I hope you enjoy it, I am sure it won't suck as much as the other entries into the series.

Tenkuujin wasn't done yet as he sent this chilling reminder of God's hatred:

If making fun of people is something God is against then it looks like everybody on the internet is fucked. I swear every single website I have ever visited makes fun of people at one point or another. Well, I suppose the porno ones don't really do that, but they are going to hell for other reasons.

This part about the nude pictures intrigues me because I never saw any when I was going to the Ranger forumss and making fun of them. Maybe I just missed those posts. Maybe after Rangerboard banned new people from joining they started talking about porn a lot more.

Tenkuujin once again not only threatens to sue us, but insists that he has enough money hire a great lawyer that will win the case. He seems serious so I responded with utmost caution, as to avoid any unneeded lawsuits.

I'm sure God knows what I did, but he probably doesn't care. Is there anything in the bible that says you can't repeat something that somebody else said, even if what they said was really retarded? Why are you so upset anyways? It's not like it's your real name or anything, unless Tenkuujin is your real name, in which case you have a shitty name. Really, if you don't want to be associated with Rangerboard then maybe you shouldn't post there.

I wasn't aware that they actually did go around and link to nude pictures, at least not the legitimate members. Some of those jokers who liked to mess with them would link to nude pictures, or so I hear. Do they still link to nude pictures? Are they nude Power Ranger pictures? If you find evidence of them linking to nude Power Ranger websites, I may take you name down just out of appreciation, because that would sure make me laugh.

Also before we go to court could you possible tell me what we are going to court about? It is not against the law to post a person's name on the internet nor is it illegal to report what they said. Besides as far as you know we may not even be in America. Dumb Baby could be based in a foreign nation like Columbia, Vietnam, or even Canada. Those countries don't follow the "laws" of America. If you are serious about pursuing legal action then go ahead and have your lawyer contact me. I will make sure to point out that his case will fail and he will be the laughing stock at the lawyer clubs.

I decided I needed to prepare for what would become the court case of the century. I expected there to be thrills, spills, and a movie, much like that one movie Inherit the Wind. I have never ever seen that movie but I assume it is riveting. I figured that I would receive more emails containing information on things like "when the court case would occur" and "why I was being sued". Lucky for me and my pocket book he never sent me another email.

Maybe I will get more emails, and thus more material if I make fun of him some more. In which case Tenkuujin is a gay homosexual who has sex with small animals, eats poop, hates Jews and urinates on his mother's face. Oh yeah he is also a Power Ranger fan who regularly posts on Power Ranger forums on the internet. That last insult is the worse of them all.

This made me feel bad because I missed a golden opportunity to help some person make fun of Dave "Shit Breath" Coulier. God I hate Dave Coulier so much. I imagine the show consisted of him standing on stage for half an hour and talking in the voices of various cartoon characters and then getting booed off the stage. I bet the people responsible for bringing him to St Joes were not only fired but also lynched.

Interesting fact, the article I wrote about the 10 reasons you should hate Uncle Joey is not only Dumb Baby's most popular feature but also is a favorite at my dad's work. Bet you didn't know that.

Any ways here is my response:

Sorry for the late reply, I suppose now anything I say will be useless as Joey Gladstone a.k.a Dave "I like cock" Coulier has probably already finished his performance. I hope you yelled something good at him like "Hey fag where's Uncle Joey" or "America's Funniest People sucked" Hopefully he signed autographs after the show and this gave you the chance to punch him in the throat and give him an atomic wedgie. Let me know what went down. I feel bad that I wasn't able to give you some advice on how to put this punk in his place but I rarely ever get fan mail and have forgotten to check this email address for the last several months.

I like this Nirmal character because she featured more relevant information in just one email then I had in an article that I spent upwards to half an hour researching. It is all very interesting, but as I point out in my response there is no way that it could help us in the mystery of figuring out the mystery that is Nermal.

That's an interesting idea you have there. I'm not sure if Jim Davis was thinking about Indian culture when he named Nermal, but the confusing name could be what led to the womanly name in the cartoon. If he had added a suffix then Nermal's gender would be less confusing. Of course there is no way he could have done that because Nermal was introduced in the 70s and back then the only minorities that were allowed in popular media were Blacks, so giving Nermal an Indian name would have resulted in arrests and possibly death.

Nirmal once again shows me up by revealing that not only is my horrible racist statement true, but that she has also heavily researched the subject. Looks like my previous statements about only lame people living in basements is wrong, because up there in crazy backwards Canada Nirmal is in her basement suite waiting to pounce on the subject of name confusion, but only if it concerns Indian names.

The rest of these emails concern the article I wrote making fun of Power Ranger fans that post their sad pathetic pictures on the internet.

It's always pleasant to please somebody and gain a dedicated fan. If only more people reacted like this to my articles instead of calling for my death and/or telling me to have sexual relations with myself.

That is the original picture in the middle. On the left is Keenan Thompson; on the right is Mark Henry. Who does he look more like? Send us what you think and maybe your response may be chronicled in an article 9 months after I receive the email.

By the way how awesome/racist is it that an Olympic gold medal winner like Mark Henry had to sell all of his self respect and be referred to as Sexual Chocolate in order to keep his job as a professional wrestler? If that isn't the worst part, they later made him have sex with a 90 year old woman. Learn from Mark Henry's mistakes, if you are going to become an Olympic gold medal weightlifter and then become a professional wrestler, you'd better actually learn how to wrestle, otherwise you will become a disgrace to your people.

This guy got me; I am indeed a little pussy who hides behind his computer while on the internet. Unlike most people who go into their computer to go on the internet, much like that one episode of The Fairly Odd Parents where Timmy goes on to the internet by going into his computer, or the Duck Tales episode where they do basically the same thing but to get back Uncle Scrooge's money which is was on the internet for some reason.

As for Dumb Baby being a shitty piss poor rip off of X-Entertainment I take offense at that. If anything I rip off Seanbaby.com way more then X-Entertainment. If anything X-Entertainment rips us off because he wrote his review of Jaws long after I wrote mine.

Now to address my knowledge of Power Rangers, which apparently rivals that of the dedicated fans of the series. I do not know very much about Power Rangers. I watched the original series for some time but then moved on after they kept showing repeats. I later watched one part of a later episode where I realized that Tommy looks like Casey Jones. Any other information I have about the series is a result from visiting RangerBoard and then laughing as huge nerds had in depth talks about Power Rangers, and then threw hissy fits whenever somebody posted a fan fic about Tommy fucking the Pink Ranger.

Just so everybody knows, when I call you a nerd that means you are an incredibly huge nerd. I am far from cool; my extensive knowledge about Nintendo should have proven that. However I am still cool enough to know that watching Power Rangers when you are over the age of ten is horribly geeky, and talking about it on forums should be punishable by castration.

Gary, I think you are missing the point of the article. I was trying to make fun of people who are wholeheartedly devoted to something trivial that they love and which gives them happiness in their life. I wanted to mock them and tarnish the very thing they love. Every single picture on the website was stolen from another website, and I was trying to humiliate them.

As for Dumb Baby being pathetic, childish, moronic, and making you want to puke, you aren't alone in those feelings Gary. We make most people feel like that.

I never really did any researcher into JaimeZeo's interests; I just said erotic fan fiction because it is funnier then just saying fan fiction, or racquetball.

Here are the pictures that this joker sent me.

So how about that, it would appear that this is a fairly muscular man who enjoys Power Rangers. However this is not where the story ends. Some time later I posted these pictures on a Degrassi: the Next Generation forum with his email address asking for sex as a funny joke. The Degrassi fans who sent him messages reported back that the person claimed to be a porn star. So here is the mystery, did he find pictures of a porn star, send them to me and hoped that I wouldn't try contacting him? Or is he a porn star that likes Power Rangers? Or most likely he just claims to be a porn star to impress the 14 year old girls who frequent Degrassi: the Next Generation websites.

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