Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters Guide
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|Story Mode P.1
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|Story Mode P.2
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Armaggon is a big shark, whom until right now I thought was named Armageddon, which in my opinion is a better name. What the hell is an Armaggon anyways? Unless it's a kind of shark I think the name should be changed. Besides his confusing name, I am a fan of Armaggon because the only thing deadlier then a shark is a shark that can go onto land and has some metal bands on his arm and a belt for no apparent reason.
His stage is a sunken ship with a huge a squid in the background. I don't think anything I can say will fully describe how awesome this stage is. Look at that squid, it is fucking huge.
Wingnut should not be in the game; few people like him, and even fewer even know who he is. The only positive thing about Wingnut is that his kick consists of a lot of spinning so that it looks like you are doing some sort of special kick. This would be cooler if the kicks weren't completely ineffective at hitting the enemy.
What he lacks in fighting ability, likeability and popularity is made up in his stage, which is the single greatest thing anywhere. First of all, it is called The Thunder Dome, so you know Tina Turner is hanging around some place. Second of all, look at that stage show. Not only is the band completely rocking but there are fucking dinosaurs just hanging out. I want to take this stage and put it into a better game. Hell, I want to take this stage and make it my home. I want to arrange it so that whenever I open my eyes this is the only thing that I see.
Because I have experienced the Thunder Dome I now know what heaven is.
Chrome Dome fits the rule established by Street Fighter 2 that all 2D fighting games must have a character who can stretch his limbs to extraordinary lengths. Since Chrome Dome's only reach about a foot in front of him it isn't much of an advantage. Take my advice and never play as Chrome Dome.
Chrome Dome's stage is a museum, which makes no fucking sense no matter how much you think about it. Why would a robot be in a museum? Robots don't care about fine art or artifacts. To confuse things even more the Nutrinos are in the background. They apparently decided to take a break from partying down in their flying cars to visit the museum. That statue of that unicorn is really large, I wonder if Chrome Dome is a unicorn fan. I wouldn't put it past him.
Right now you may be saying "Who is Aska?" Well I don't know either so stop asking me.
Aska's stage is a Chinese palace with a huge frog in it. I'm not even going to try explaining this one.
War is some sort of alien or god or something that has never made an appearance in Ninja Turtles before this. Somebody should have told the people at Kanomi that there are hundreds of characters in the Ninja Turtle universe so there is no reason to go about making people up. The entire show is based off of selling action figures and new characters were introduced on the average of six per episode. They could have thrown a few in the game instead of these no name people. I have a personal theory that the people who made this game were making a fighting game of their own but it got cancelled, and when they were put on this project in a bitter rage they put in War and Aska from their old game in hopes that these two characters would prove to be popular enough to warrant that their original game be made. They did not count on how horrible this game would turn out, lowering the possibilities of spin offs.
War's stage is Mount Olympus. I think this would be a good time to point out that all these locations are in The United States. So Mount Olympus is really in America and not Greece like we used to assume. Sphinx is apparently on Mount Olympus as well. At least we get to see some characters in the background that should have been included as fighters in the game such as Bebop and Rocksteady.
This ain't your daddy's Shredder. Nope the game lists his full name as Cyber Shredder. I don't know why they chose Cyber Shredder over normal Shredder since normal Shredder is better known and not pink.
To go along with the Cyber theme Cyber Shredder fights in a junkyard.
Once you fight through all the other characters in Tournament mode, April has a surprise for you.
The surprise is that the champion, The Rat King, is willing to fight you.
I don't know how The Rat King of all people became the champion but this is some surprise. I would never have expected him to be able to beat Shredder. It must be because it's Cyber Shredder. Cyber Shredder must be some sort of pussy compared to normal Shredder because normal Shredder would anally rape The Rat King into shreds of raped flesh.
War may have not been able to get the job done but Raphael beat the shit out of The Rat King, and instead of bringing him to the hospital they just left his unconscious body on the floor while they brought out Raphael's money. I don't know why they paid him in cash instead of a check, or why they insisted on giving so many gold coins. Hopefully they also plan on giving him a bag with the $ sign on it because otherwise I don't see how he's going to carry it all home. It's not like he has pockets or anything.
Hey Konami how about I set my goals on playing a better game. Zing, I've still got it.