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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters Guide

  Versus Mode
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Story Mode P.1
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Story Mode P.2
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Conclusion
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The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are known for two main things:

1. Eating pizza

2. Incredibly effective marketing

If they are to be known for a third thing it would be fighting, and when you combine effective marketing with a cartoon as violent as Ninja Turtles and mix into a medium as awesome as Nintendo, then you a recipe for success as delightful as the recipe for the greatest stew.

History has shown a successful track record for Ninja Turtle games in the side scrolling genre, from that one for the Nintendo to the arcade one to the sweet one where they travel through time and beat up foot soldiers in periodical garb. To shake things up, in 1993 Kanomi decided to take a stab at making a fighting game based on the franchise. There is no reason why this game shouldn't have become the greatest fighting game ever, but unfortunately Kanomi apparently was at that time run by incompetent retards because they managed to fuck up a sure thing.

There are three game modes here: Tournament, VS. Battle, and Story Battle. I didn't play the VS. Battle since that is the two player mode and instead of buying a copy of this I just downloaded the ROM, and my computer has no way of letting me play two player games. My review and journalistic credibility may be hurt by this half assed effort, but I don't really care, so fuck you.

The first thing I did was start to play Tournament. Then I reset and put the game on an easier difficulty setting because I didn't feel like having to put much effort into the game. Then I started again.

In the Tournament mode you select a fighter to compete for money. I like that Kanomi explains why you are traveling around killing people. Most fighting games don't tell you anything or they have some explanation that makes no sense such as "This guy is evil, and in order to defeat him you must fight him in a best two out of three battle, but first you have to fight these fifteen other people who are also trying to defeat him." Although the "money" thing doesn't really work out with the Ninja Turtles; they live in a sewer and eat nothing but pizza. How much money do they really need? Hell, they would probably be fairly opposed to people fighting not for honor or to save somebody, but for money. Then there's Shredder, why does he need money? Krang is his sugar daddy, who needs to travel around the nation fighting for money when you have a giant brain from another dimension sending you laser weapons? Sure a laser weapon won't get you a steak dinner, but there are literally dozens of people willing to pay top dollar for a weapon of mass destruction. So the idea doesn't really work, but they still get points for trying.

Well the first thing you have to do is pick your character, let's take a look at the choices.

Leo, AKA Leonardo, leader of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the most skilled fighter of the group. You would imagine that having two huge katana swords would make for some short matches since swords have a tendency to kill people, but that is not the case here. The swords must be really dull or the other fighters are just really tough, since they don't do any more damage then other character's attacks. Either way, there is not nearly enough decapitations. Of course though, I have been known to say that about most video games, and movies, and just life in general.

Each character has there own stage. Leo's is a back alley filled with prostitutes, punks and depressed looking black men. New York must be one crazy town if large turtles and sharks can fight in the back alleys and there is hardly any reaction by the spectators. I knew New York was rough, but damn, when mutants start brawling in the streets for cash, I would just move away, or at least react in some way.

Ralph AKA Raphael AKA the one with attitude, is a personal favorite of mine. They say you can tell a lot about a person based off of who is his favorite Ninja Turtle. Mine being Raphael shows that I enjoy sarcastic assholes.

Ralph battles in a diner full of cheering spectators. Winner gets money and glory, while the loser's only consolation is the flapjack the chef in the background is preparing. I like the idea of fighting in a restaurant so much that it should be implemented in other games. Imagine a game where you travel the world starting fights in the finest restaurants in the word. You would start out in fast food joints and diners and then you would work your way up to five star restaurants. In the last level, you would battle God in a restaurant in heaven. It would be the greatest game ever, even better then Zombies Revenge, hell even better then Zombies Ate my Neighbors.

The man with the stick himself: Donatello. He is actually one of the better fighters in the game since his bo staff is large and it gives him superior range.

He does his fighting in a junkyard under the watchful eye of Casey Jones. An interesting thing about the background of this game is that it often contains characters from the Ninja Turtles universe that should be in the game as fighters but are not so the programmers could make room for characters that are obscure to the point that nobody knows who they are.

Michelangelo is a party dude. He also has the easiest weapons to make as a child, and coincidently enough the easiest to accidentally hit yourself in the balls with.

Mike's stage is called the Sky Palace, which is just the top of a roof which is surrounded by some bizarre billboards such as an advertisement for woman with huge hair and one for Grand Mutagen. Also there is a sign advertising that Konami has been making video games since the 1960s, despite the fact that video games hadn't been invented yet.

  Versus Mode
[Page 1 - Page 2]
Story Mode P.1
[Page 1 - Page 2]
Story Mode P.2
[Page 1 - Page 2]
Conclusion
[Page 1]
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Next