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How Neil Young and Conan O'Brien Invented Sex

Hello everybody, I'm glad that you could all make it. I have made a discovery that I think will change all of our lives. I theorize that you can put your penis in a woman's ear and it will be pleasurable. I call this invention "sex".

This sounds pretty far fetched to me, have you actually tried this?

Yes twice. Here let me show you this diagram I drew.

Neil, I like what I'm hearing but I have one suggestion, the ear sounds like it would be very painful for the woman.

Now that you mention it my wife did scream a lot and start bleeding halfway through the process.

Yes, like I was saying, I hear woman have these things called vaginas, how about we use those somehow?

Of course the vagina, it all makes sense now. We need to tell the president about this discovery. Now there are a lot of people here, so we will need to take two cars. Conan I know you brought a car would you like to drive?

Actually I was thinking we should make some flyers to hand out, so I was going to stay here and work on those.

Good idea Conan, who want to stay here and help with the flyers?

Now come on, some of us need to stay and work on the flyers.

There's no reason for all of us to go tell the president. We need to work as a team here people, now who is going to help me with these flyers?

Fine then I'll stay and work on the flyers, but I'm not going to let any of you drive my car.

Well how are we supposed to get to there then?

Frankly I don't care, if you're not going to work with me then I'm not going to work with you.

Why don't you take Abe's car?

I'd like to take everybody in my car but I just got it detailed, and my wife will kill me if it gets messed up.

Come on everybody we need some cooperation here. I know we all want to get home and have sex with our wives but we need to get things finished here first.

I hope to have sex four times.

Okay fine we'll call it a night and work out the details in the morning, but I want everybody here bright and early. Also since we are breaking early I want everybody to go home and try out both methods and report your findings in the morning.

That won't be a problem.

That night everybody went home and had sex except…

Why am I so alone?