The Top Ten Album Covers EverWhen you buy a new album how long do you spend looking at the cover art? If you are like me then the answer is "a long time". I have been known to buy an album simply because it has good art. This being said I felt compelled to look at the best album covers in the world to find the top ten greatest ever. Three years later I feel confident releasing this list on an unsuspecting public. I have worked hard and long, and I don't think there is a better list of the best album covers ever.
First on our list is Molly Hatchet's 1996 release Devil's Canyon. The cover art truly displaces a horrific scene as a brave warrior mounted upon a unicorn battles the evils of a canyon which is very likely inhabited by the devil. The use of dark colors give the impression of gloom which perfectly compliments the album's theme, a devil filled canyon. The idea if an animal as pure as a unicorn in such a place boggles the mind. The unicorn is also dressed for combat. It is entirely possible that the unicorn has rebelled against its more peaceful brethren in order to take up a life of adventure. It is obvious the man riding the unicorn is a rebel himself, and represents the rebelling rock music allows one to do.
LOOK OUT THAT GUY IS RUNNING RIGHT AT YOU! IF YOU MESS WITH HIM THEN YOU ARE FLIRTIN' WITH DISASTER!!!!!!!!!!
In 1980 the odds were truly against Molly Hatchet, but they were able to beat those odds. To celebrate they made an album and named it Beaten' the Odds. The cover art truly conveys this message. That Viking is battling the very army of hell. The odds are against him but he is beating them as evident by his bloody sword. Look at the details, the blood on the Vikings sword, the hair on the horse, which is black. I don't see why museums hang The Last Supper on their walls but refuse this image. It truly represents everything that is great about America.
A nameless knight armed to the teeth rides on his jet black steed only to find that his enemy rains down from the heavens themselves. The lighting effects on this album alone are worth the price of admission. Look as its power; it glows and is purple. The Lighting strikes this knight, but he does not fall. He instead directs it a tree which bursts into the brightest flame ever seen by mortal eyes. While this is happening an eagle flies by his billowing cape. Who is this bird, and what is he doing? Is he attacking our hero, or perhaps aiding his quest? Could it be that the eagle revealed to him how to deflect the lighting? We will never know the whole story. We are given only one scene in what must have been an epic tale of bravery and excitement.
Molly Hatchet knew that their debut album would need to catch the eye of consumers, so they drew upon their Nordic heritage to bring about an image that terrorizes the soul. In silhouette this ghastly barbarian stands, weapon drawn, ready to fight. He cares not for who you are, or what you stand for. All that matters is that you fall to his blade. This is the sort of image that haunts you to your last day on this earth.
Hulk Hogan lent his image to this masterpiece. A party of adventurers journey to the mysterious Rainbow Bridge to search for the warlock's secret. Hulk Hogan stands in bright contrast to the blue hued figures behind him. The detail given to the unicorn is on par with any I have ever seen. The pillar seems to almost be real; it cracks and bends with age. The fog wafts, making the mystic setting seem all the more mysterious. The Rainbow Bridge is not for the faint of heart, nor is Molly Hatchet.
The mysterious Kingdom of XII is ruled by its undead lord, and is haunted by an icy specter of death. A man, who may once again be Hulk Hogan, journeys to this mysterious kingdom to defeat the evil which threatens the world. Once again Molly Hatcher proves that they can put wild adventures into there album covers. This dungeon is amazing. Look at those pillars, they are so realistic. If they were removed I am sure the ceiling would fall. The skeleton of the king is complete as far as anatomic correctness is concerned. The fires burn brighter then the sun. It is like I am in the crypt, running for my life from that shade in the background. In my younger days I saw this cover and I was so scared that I wet the bed every night for the next 15 years. That's how scary the image is.
Look at that landscape, the only way it can be described is as orgasm inducing. To drive home how hard it is making me, they drew a bunch of phallic symbols. There is the totem pole that the Viking is standing on, the stone pillars in the background, and the axe which is a phallic symbol if you think about it long enough. The Viking is also ripped like a motherfucker. His rock hard abs go along with my rock hard penis. The lightening represents semen which my pants are filled with right now.
Lightening, fire, a dragon wrapping its tail around a muscular man in a red cape...does anything else say rock and roll more then this image? I think not. Whenever I hear a rock and roll song this is what I see. This is also what I see when I close my eyes, when I'm sleeping, and when I am making love, but that's mostly because I tape this picture to the back of my lover's head.
Nothing says live album like a troll-like creature leaving an icy field an entering a fiery cave. Of course the fire and ice represent the two discs of the album. One is the band's hip and rocking hits while the other is there soulful ballads, all classics frozen in time. The trolls represent the rigors of life in the limelight. It can be empowering, but at the same time ugly and violent. In the background a man is on a horse. He is redemption; the horse is white which means purity. It goes to show that no matter how far into the fire you go you can still be saved. Taken separately these are nothing more then symbols but put together and you have a picture worth more then a thousand words.
Dear God, there is no way to make this album better. Bat out of Hell 2: Back into Hell is a work of geniuses. Meat Loaf is flying on a magic motorcycle so he can free his woman from a giant bat. Some of you may recognize that bat from the original Bat Out of Hell. It is attention to details like these that reward long time fans. There are other interesting things if you pay enough attention. You may have noticed that there are six buildings on the cover. Six divided by 2 is three, and at this point Meat Loaf had done three albums with Jim Steinman. The motorcycle is similar to ones that had appeared on previous albums. These are all nice little Easter eggs for the Meat Loaf fanatics. The actual album art is top notch as well. Look at the bat, his fur looks like that of a real bat, not to mention the perfectly proportioned wings. Anybody who has tried to draw a bat will know just how hard it is. The motorcycle looks fantastic with all its metal and parts. The buildings are detailed with a large number of windows. Overall this is just a superb piece with a great background history. If I ever go blind I can rest easy knowing I have seen heaven.