A Review of 'Dinosaur' with Fred Savage
At this point nobody is listening to Phillip. In reference to a T-rex he says "When he talked everybody listened" then the T-rex on screen begins to howl, and Phillip just starts screaming. Phillip's outburst surprises and scares everybody into silence.
Some poor frightened girl breaks the awkward silence by asking what happened to the dinosaurs. Phillip coldly responds "They died," while fantasizing about what he wants to do with his class and his dad's hunting rifle. To symbolize what is in their future the T-rex has a heart attack and dies.
A moment of silence for our fallen dinosaur brothers.
According to Phillip dinosaurs died either because of a snowstorm, cavemen stealing their eggs, or the world became a desert. There is a sweet part where Phillip comments that dinosaurs were unable to move to a warmer climate, and somebody says that they should move Phillip to a warmer climate, the furnace room. Ah hell yeah, that showed Phillip that if he is going to give a report in class it may very well end with him in the incinerator. How much do you care about dinosaurs NOW THAT YOU'RE ON FIRE!
Phillip also says that certain scientists think that dinosaurs were killed by the waves from an exploding star. These are the retarded scientists because they have no explanation for an exploding star that is close enough to kill the dinosaurs, but not leave a black hole or something. Apparently it exploded, killed only dinosaurs and that was it.
Without explanation Phillip starts going nuts over how sweet the Jurassic period is, by talking about all the marches, bayous, and coniferous forests.
Then he shows us dinosaurs in the desert. You know what I'm done trying to even follow this guy's fucking speech. It makes no sense. First deserts kill dinosaurs, then he talks about all the jungles the dinosaurs lived in, then it shows us dinosaurs living in the desert. All the while Phillip is going on a demented rant about how intense dinosaurs are. He is pretty much screaming the entire time and keeps saying the word man. I would transcribe some of it for you but he's talking so fast and making so little sense that I don't think I could. At one point he starts talking about what you would say to a dinosaur if it tried to eat your pine tree, and how no matter what you said it wouldn't matter because the dinosaur is big enough that he can fuck your shit up as much as he feels like it. It's quite obvious that Phillip has gone off the deep end. The producers spare us of his demented ravings, and just show dinosaurs hanging out, while monkeys make noise in the background.
Everything is cool; dinosaurs are just hanging loose eating pine trees when this mother fucker comes over the mountain. You know somebody's bad news when they have a corpse hanging out of their mouth like that.
The other dinosaurs run away, and then he grabs some pterodactyl out of the sky, like its not big deal. He doesn't even eat the pterodactyl either; he just wanted to kill it. You know what pisses me off? The silent p in pterodactyl. Let's lose the p and just call it a terodactyl.
Phillip's voice track gets turned up again and he's still freaking out about dinosaurs. Meanwhile his class is freaking out because the tyrannosaurus is coming after them.
Luckily Phillip erases the dinosaur before they are all killed. The class is happy with the report because not only was it informative, but also life threatening.
It would appear that only one person did voices. Considering there are something in the range of six characters that's sort of impressive. Not very impressive though since the voices don't sound very good, but I'm sure she tried her best.
Fred Savage mother fuckers.