Haiku Reviews of Movies
The Village
The movie was alright
Until the first twist came along
Also the end was lame
Escape From New York
Here comes Snake Plisken
He is going to save the prez
No movie is better
The Fox and the Hound
Do you think its bad
That I orgasm every time
That I watch this film?
Bringing Down the House
I would rather be shot
In the balls with a spear gun
Then watch this again
Bringing Down the House Part 2
Whites act like this but
But black people act like this
Fuck you Steve Martin
Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
Has a pretty cool name
To bad the rest really sucks, well
The pod race was neat
Rudy
I have never seen this
But TV tells me that men cry during
The ending, bunch of pansies
The Never Ending Story
The story will never end
It just gets worse with each sequel
Don't see the third one
The Wizard
Nintendo is cool
So a movie about it should be cool
Plus it has Fred Savage
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Watching the movies
Took longer then reading the books
Needed more midgets
Dawn of the Dead
When zombies invade
I want to live in a mall
But with more women
The Land Before Time
God has smiled upon us
This is truly proof of his love
We are the blessed
Miracle on 34th Street
Santa is a fake
Or maybe he is real, the
Answer may surprise
March of the Penguins
Here come the penguins
Marching along the boulevard
A delight for all
Freddy vs. Jason
Freddy and Jason fought
But there was no clear cut winner
What a rip off
Requiem for a Dream
Everyone is on drugs
Things are good, then they are bad
This movie makes me sad
Walking Tall
The Rock breaks the law
In order to catch criminals
That doesn't seem right
Clerks
Crude black and white film
Full of sex jokes and swear words
Kevin Smith's greatest work
Vulgar
Hey, look at the clown
He is being raped by men
Lets never speak of this
Disney's Robin Hood
Robin Hood is a fox
And sounds like he is from the
South, that makes no sense
Jurassic Park
Cloning dinosaurs
Is not a very good idea
Cause they eat people
Titanic
It's long and boring
And we know the ship will sink
At least there are boobs
Brokeback Mountain
Buttfucking cowboys
Roam the wild plains of Texas
Better cover your bum
What Women Want
Watching this movie
Is like having ice picks jammed into
Your eyes, but even worse
Chronicles of Narnia
Did you know the lion
Is suppose to be Jesus?
Jesus was a lion
Coming to America
Did you know that you
Make more money if you play all
The roles in the movie?
