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Everything I Know About the Rosie O'Donnell-Donald Trump Feud as Gathered from Fox News Reports During Mythbusters Commercial Breaks

After the break, Tori, Grant and Kari will test the myth of whether you can repel a bear attack with a yo-yo. Then, Jamie and Adam test the myth of whether puppies are soft to pet.

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The current Miss USA may be dethroned because of some bad behavior. It has been reported that she was out all night in clubs partying and drinking. This is considered scandelous because every other 20 year old in America spends their free time baking cookies with grandma. Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA pagent because he has no shame, will decide Miss USA's fate at a press conference. Yes, this is newsworthy.

In case you are wondering, Miss USA is a totally different thing from Miss America. They aren't the same. So yes, there are two boring ass beuty pageants no one has given a shit about since 1958.

Praise the Lord! Donald Trump has decided to give Miss USA a second chance! Donald Trump has allowed Miss USA to keep her crown. For some reason, this needed to be announced at a large press conference.

On my daytime show that is very popular with gay men and welfare recipients, I will complain about Donald Trump. What's the deal with Donald Trump? This man has either been divorced or had an affair or both and he thinks he can be the moral authority for Miss USA. Goodness gracious! What nerve!

I am very insecure and take everything so personally. So I will say that Rosie O'Donnell is a fat dyke. Who would want to jack off to the sight of some girl up her pussy? Not me. I mean fucking eew. Also, I am much richer than Rosie O'Donnell, so I will point out that she is not as successful in business as me.

I put a rebuttal up on my website.

I will sue you somehow.

Ever since we captured Bin Laden and ended the war in Iraq, it's been a slow news day. It's like there has been nothing out there more important to discuss.