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Jason Mewes Presents Meerkat Manor

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Meerkat Manor

The Whiskers are all digging around the hole cause they want it to be clean. I don't know what they think they're doing they're just moving dirt from one side to the other. Like they're doing this cause the baby meerkats are coming out today so they want that shit to look good.

Meerkat Manor

The babies come out the hole but some fucker is still shoveling shit and throws it on him. What a fag ruining all their shit like that. It was probably that homo Shakespeare. You can also see somebody's ball sack. Fuck yeah that shits huge. Reminds me of somebody I know: fucking Jason Mewes, mother fuckers. I got shit hanging so big it hits the ground fucking a'ight.

Meerkat Manor

So like the kids are out but Flower is hungry cause she needs food so she can fuck some more so she leaves. They got some babysitters that stay and watch the new kids. It's pretty cool for them cause they just get to hang out around the hole and shit. Nobody locks them in a closet or anything.

Meerkat Manor

Meerkats eat insects and shit like that. Bugs are insects so they eat them. Snakes too I guess. They dig holes cause those things I underground probably. They also like digging and shit.

Meerkat Manor

Uh let's see. Looks like Shakespeare got some bug or something. Fuck there is a lot of footage of them digging around. I'm going to go get a smoke guys, just leave it running. No I'll be back, just give me five.

Meerkat Manor

Hey guys I'm back, I couldn't find any ciggs so I just sniffed some shit in the janitor's closet. Whow shit they're like sucking on her. Fucking wild, one time I was like that except it was three chicks and me. They just sucking and blowing I didn't know where to fucking stick my six inches of thunder. I just went ah ah ah all over them. They got fucking drenched in my cum. It was awesome later I found out they were in high school and two of them were guys. Shit I shouldn't have said that. Just ignore the last part there everybody.

Meerkat Manor

It's hot and that one is all like tired of getting its shit sucked on and wants to just rest but that other guy is a horny little bitch so he ain't letting go. The babysitters are all tired of this shit and just want to cruise down to the pool and hang with some chicks and some drinks but they can't cause Flower will kick their ass if they don't watch her kids.

Meerkat Manor

Like the people are pissed cause its all hot and shit so they stop paying attention and some bitch grabs Mitch and hightails is into the desert with him.

Meerkat Manor

So they all take Mitch outside then just sort of sit around looking at birds and shit which is lame cause who wants to look at birds. Look at fucking Mitch, he wants to get into their rank pussies but those Lesbos aren't giving him any attention.

Meanwhile, at the hole nobody notices he is gone. Fuck those babysitters are all high. When I watch Kevin's kid even I notice if she goes missing. Like both times she went missing I found her before Kevin got home so I wasn't even in trouble which is sweet cause one time I traded her for some weed and Kevin got so mad he grounded me and took my weed and wouldn't let me read Iron Man for a week.

Meerkat Manor

It's not long before they get tired of looking after Mitch and go do something more fun. Fucking humping over their oh yeah. Take that Mitch you fucker they really are lessies.

So like if Mitch doesn't go back home he'll die but he can't cause he doesn't know how. What will happen I don't know because it's commercial time mother fuckers!

Meerkat Manor

Man I wish we had real commercials I gotta take a fucking shit. Don't worry I won't shit my pants or anything. Fucking one time Kevin had to shit so I ran in the bathroom and locked the door and he kept yelling at me to let him in but I didn't listen cause it was a practical joke. He ended up shitting in the kitchen sink. It was fucking funny. Kevin was real pissed though.

Meerkat Manor

The babysitters are all high and don't know Mitch is gone. When Flower gets back she'll be pissed that they lost her kid. This reminds me of one time I lost my bike when I was a kid. Actually I sold it, and it wasn't my bike, and it was last year.

Meerkat Manor

Mitch is fucking boned until his eagle friend comes by and Mitch is all like hey fucker get me some help some fucking dykes ditched me in the desert, snoochie bootchies!

Meerkat Manor

The eagle tells Shakespeare to get his punk ass to the groove factory. He all wants to go ass to mouth on Mitch but Mitch goes no way mother fucker now carry me home bitch!

Meerkat Manor

Meanwhile Flower is still eating. Fuck that bitch been out there all day eating. She should fucking be full. You guys might want to like think this show out more. All anybody ever fucking does is eat or dig holes. You should fucking throw in some sex or shit like people not meerkats or a some fucking Percy Sledge or explosion. Some fucking shit to keep people excited you know.

Meerkat Manor

Taco be out there with Flower too. She got some long ass nipples which means she's pregnant. Fucking got it on, that's my kind of bitch. That's why I go hit on chicks at the abortion clinic. Get one that's nice and loose and don't like no condoms. Sometimes they want you to pay for the abortion but I never tell them my real name. I usually say my name is Brian O'Halloran and then they go looking for Coach Dante and they make him pay for it and he's a fucking tool so he does even if he didn't bone the cunt.

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