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Free Essays 123

While traveling across the desolate wastelands known as the internet, I came upon the website Free Essays 123. This site provides essays to people who are too lazy to do their own homework. The catch is that all the essays are provided by fellow students, and you can get an essay for free by submitting your own. This sounds great until you realize that people who are getting free essays from the internet probably won’t be providing the best work. You just have to hope that they are too lazy to ever write their own essay and that they are just going to upload one that their roommate wrote.

I decided to test the standards of Free Essay 123 by submitting the article I have recently written about Theodore Roosevelt as a history essay. I assumed that a few days later I would receive an email that would say "Very funny fucker. Stop messing around with us."

Instead I got this:

Thank you for your submission to Below is the essay you requested.

To have more essays sent to you please submit another (different) essay to us at

I stared at this for five minutes before yelling “Say what!” They had actually accepted a list of outrageous and awesome statements as an essay. Even better is the fact that the essay I received is on the show Cops. I don’t think I’ve ever had a class where it would be appropriate to write about Cops, and I once took a special topics class about police shows and television. I think any teacher I gave this essay would read the first line, realize it’s a paper about Cops and then just fail me out of principle. It’s not even a good essay, look at this:

In 1989 Paul Ingerson, the plaintiff, ventured to a so called bad part of town in order to obtain illegal drugs. While he tried to purchase marijuana the dealer assaulted him and attempted stealing Ingerson's motorcycle.

It doesn’t get much better from there either. If it was me I would be embarrassed to give that to random people on the internet.

Since receiving the Cops essay I wondered if I could get another. I forget exactly which one I chose, but I think it had to do with teen sex, or something equally as erotic. This time I gave them the anti drug essay written by The Ultimate Warrior. I figured if they loved Theodore Roosevelt facts then a celebrity endorsed article which has saved the lives of millions would make them damp in their specials parts.

As of writing this I have not received my sexy teen essay, which leads me to believe they did not deem The Ultimate Warrior’s words of wisdom good enough. I asked The Ultimate Warrior what were his thoughts about his essay not being received and he sent me this statement:

JOHNNY DANGEROUSLY! Once in a lifetime the warrior must ask himself, WHO AM I! Do wolves of Parubula gnaw at my bones! Is there a heart as big as a mountain? Is there a tree falling INTO THE SUN!!!!!! No there is not! So eternally the Warrior still lives in my soul, I am pure, not like those WHO DENY MY SPEECH! I do not care what they say. I am all I am. THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR IS NO SWAYED BY THE EVILS IN MEN’S HEARTS!!!!!!!

So I guess that explains that.

What bugs me though is that by denying the article written by The Ultimate Warrior Free Essay 123 is showing that they have a elimination process for accepting essays, but they still took one that is just a listing of made up facts. That is a very high level of incompetence. Of course what can you expect from a person working at a company whose entire purpose it to help others avoid work. It’s hard to find slackers with strong work ethics.

Well at least I got a free essay about Cops out of the deal.