Pro Stars Review
Bo Jackson then reveals that their capturers hadn't bothered to take their gadgets. That's, like, the first rule of capturing people, take away their stuff. Bo also makes another comment about not knowing what that thing is. Hey do you think that at the end of the episode we will find out what it is and it will be some sort of joke? I think so. Also this is not an appropriate time to be pondering what that thing is. You do not stop in the middle of a jail break to wonder what something is, you just run. That's, like, the first rule of jailbreaks.
Jordan throws some rings over the gang members and they high tail it out of there. I like that the makers of Pro Stars included Michael Jordan's love of ring toss. Few people know that he was one of the premier ring toss players in the country when he was in high school. He basically had a choice, go pro ring tossing or basketball.
Then, they ride the planet Saturn down the mountain. Its not the real planet, just an inflatable one Jordan had. Apparently a slowly bouncing ball is more than enough to outrun a bunch of hot rods.
They end up in town and bounce into the back of a truck. This is about when the cartoon turns into Mad Max 2. About time I say. It should have just been the last 22 minutes of Mad Max 2. That would be the best episode ever.
Bo comments that he still doesn't know what that thing is. You may have noticed it has also changed shape since we saw it before. Bo then uses it to fuck up the guy with the grappling hook.
Gargantus tries to subdue Jordan by forcibly sucking him off. Michael Jordan is confused and aroused.
Keith drives up next to them and Sheila yells out that Jordan is his friend and he should help his friends. Michael Jordan then makes a heavy handed speech about siding with those who want the best for you, and not those we hate and live off the blood of the innocent. Normally I hate it when cartoons give me heavy handed speeches, but having it given while the person hangs off the side of a speeding truck really made it more exciting.
Froggy yells, "Show them what a real gang member is made of." Apparently he forgot the part when the gang betrayed Keith. Keith tells him to fuck off and throws Gargantus off the truck. That probably really hurt, it looks like they're going fast.
Then it's time for a touching reunion in the car. It's hilarious because none of them stop driving. Keith just jumps out of the car he is driving and it veers off screen. Keith is pretty badass for jumping from a moving car into a truck with no problems.
Keith then says how he was wrong when he thought Gargantus was cool, and in fact Gargantus is just a big bully. This of course is wrong. Keith was trying to join the gang to protect his family. I don't know why Keith doesn't tell them that.
Keith's dad then says, "Son it takes a special person to admit he is wrong." Keith's dad means "special" implying he is cool with his son's homosexuality.
This amuses Gretzky whose seat seems to have disappeared.
Bo finally figures out what the gadget is. It is a thermos with a protein shake inside. Notice that it now looks different then before. I have a theory that there were several similar looking gadgets that confused Bo and he is too retarded to realize there is more than one. He then throws the shake at Froggy who is on the truck for some reason, causing Froggy to fall to his death.
Wayne is pissed that he didn't get to drink it. I have to side with him on this one. Bo is huge; he easily could have just punched Froggy in the balls. No need to waste the shake.
Out of nowhere, Gargantus is driving at them despite the fact that he fell off the truck several miles back. Wayne, Sheila, Keith, and their father (Sheila and Keith's father not Wayne's) all climb out of the cab into the back of the truck. Then everybody gets on Saturn and Jordan pops it, allowing them to fly away.
Gargantus doesn't seem to realize that they did this and smashes into the truck, causing a sweet wreck.
Miraculously, he is not hurt at all by that. In fact, he seems to think that he has beaten the Pro Stars even though they are not in the truck. He starts celebrating.
Now it gets kind of weird. Jordan tells everybody to lean to the right, so they do.
Then it cuts to Gargantus being crushed by Saturn. I guess the plan worked--whatever it was.
Raise the roof!
Later, they recap the episode. Don't join gangs, have faith in Keith, blah blah blah. Sheila thanks them and Jordan says Sheila had as much to do with their success as they did. Bullshit, the only thing she did was tell them what was going on and that Keith is not evil. Rebound was more important then she was. Speaking of Rebound where did she go? She seemed to just sort of disappear after the jailbreak.
Then for no reason, mom shows up on some sort of flying lawn chair. She gives Wayne another shake, so in the end everything worked out fine.
Hell, the police even decided to show up and help out. I think the reason there is only one paddy wagon is because most of the 55 gang members were killed in the car chase.
Mom says she wants to see Pro Star 1 and make sure they've been taking care of it. Uh oh, this isn't good. Remember, Keith made it look totally sweet earlier.
Mom is not pleased with how cool Pro Star 1 now looks. Jordan and Bo put the blame on Wayne. What a couple of assholes. Wayne is going to get revenge tonight though when he takes a dump on both of them while they're asleep.
11 year old Ryan wants to know how they made it into the big leagues.
Bo says he father always said that if he kept his head on straight he would probably end up in college and eventually be in a professional sport. So I guess it was destiny or birthright or something.
Wayne says when he was 16 he played in the Canadian hockey championships against 19-20 year olds. I imagine it was a huge deal considering how much people in Canada love hockey. The Canadian hockey championship is about ten times bigger then the Super Bowl and with a lot more Mounties. Wayne then decided to go pro, and did.
Wow, it seems like it's pretty easy to become a professional athlete.
That's the end of the episode. Remember kids, don't join a gang even if they own a castle. Peace out!