The Lockhorns Are A More Upbeat Comic Strip If You Imagine That Leroy and Lorreta Have A Very Active Sex Life
On the surface, The Lockhorns appears to be a pretty depressing comic strip about a couple in a loveless marriage who hate each other and trade constant insults. But that is the wrong way to read The Lockhorns. Think about it, if Leroy and Loretta really hated each other as much as they did they would have gotten divorced or murdered each other long ago; that's how most marriages end in real life. If you read The Lockhorns at a deeper level then you'll soon see that Leroy and Loretta are really a sexually active and experimental couple--a very experimental couple. All of their insults are really sexual comments. They talk to their neighbors a lot, but that is just bragging. That's why they stay together. It's a pretty happy marriage, really. Of course, you couldn't make such an overly sexual comic strip and get it into newspapers, so all of their comments have to be inuendo. I have taken the time to decipher several strips to reveal the true meaning of The Lockhorns to my precious readers.
Leroy makes sure to devote a great deal of time to foreplay before penetrating Loretta anally. Loretta brags about this to a neighbor.
Leroy is looking for a woman to have a three way with and reminds Loretta that he has her blessing. Leroy is interested in an eight foot tall jogging woman.
Leroy can't wait until Loretta's mother leaves so they can get back to their 24/7 fuckfest.
Leroy loves how Loretta performs in bed. He wishes to share her sexually with people in truck stops.
Leroy and Lorreta have an open marriage. You may have noticed that they go to many many dinner parties. It is to pick up one night stands. Loretta is not shy about telling this to a woman at a party (Hillary Clinton?) because Loretta is considering trying girl on girl.
Loretta found some new karma sutra positions online, but worried that Leroy would not be limber enough for them. She wanted to hire a young gigalo to partner with, but Leroy balked at spending the money and being a cuckold. He attempts the positions himself, resulting in injury and a trip to the hospital. "Two Little Gutters" is obviously a reference to Loretta's breasts.
As an older man, Leroy is having trouble satisfying Loretta's neverending and demanding libido. When he is spent, he would prefer to watch baseball until he recharges. Loretta really hates having to wait.
Loretta is giving Leroy shit for his aforementioned erectile problems.
Leroy and Loretta were ejected from a party at their own home for suggesting that everyone swing. When they normally suggest this at parties, their friends are cool with it, but tonight their guests were from a highly conservative crowd.
Leroy is open to almost any sexual act you can imagine, but he draws the line at taking it up the ass. Loretta complains about this another neighbor.
Leroy got piss drunk while Loretta was out and wants to roleplay as Jimmy Buffet in Maragritaville.
Leroy can't even imagine what bizarre sex toys from Japan Loretta keeps in her purse.