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Whatever Happened to the Koopa Kids?

Koopa Kids

Remember the Koopa Kids, Bowser's children featured in Super Mario Brothers 3 and Super Mario Land? They were bosses in the last stage of the worlds. After Super Mario Word, they were never featured in the series again. This is because Super Mario World 2 was a prequel, so they could not be included due to the linearity of time. They were not featured in Super Mario 64 due to contractual problems with the union. After so many years out of the spotlight, their popularity waned. Bowser cut them off in favor of using Bowser Jr. an orphan whom he would not have to pay child support to. On their own, the Koopa Kids have had to pursue solo careers. These are their stories.

Wendy O. Koopa

Wendy O Koopa

Wendy decided to leave the Mushroom Kingdom and pursue a career in Hollywood. She had several minor roles in TV, movies, and commercials before landing a reoccurring part on the low rated WB sitcom The Wacky Adventures of Ashkenazi Goldstein: The World's Most Jewish Man which starred Paul Reiser as Ashkenazi Goldstein, a man whose sever Jewishness cause trouble for his family. Wendy played the head of the cheerleading team and chief rival of Ashkenazi's daughter, Zehavit.

Wendy has also dipped her toes into the movie pool, starring in such teen classics as Teen Bikini Zone, Spring Break Madness: Madness in Europe, and Flimsy Plot that Exists Only to Serve as a Stepping Stone to Parody Various Popular and Recently Made Movies. In these movies, Wendy usually played the sexy but deceiving and evil female antagonist. Wendy's most successful movie role was in Hip Hop Dance Movie 3 which to the delight of her more pathetic long time fans, she bore her bare breasts for the first time on film.

More recently, Wendy has been concentrating on her family life. She is married to Russian hockey player Valeri Vladimirovich Bure and they have seven kids. This doesn't stop her from taking occasional acting jobs, such as her recent role with fellow Irish native Mike O'Malley on Yes Dear.

Larry and Morton Koopa Jr.

Larry Koopa Morton Koopa Jr

Larry and Morton decided to try their hand at acting as well. However, instead of going for television or the big screen they wanted to follow the Olsen Twin strategy by targeting the tween audience with straight to video movies. Their movies were marketed towards boys but a series of questionable decisions on the part of script writers and producers hurt the endeavor. Only three videos were made Mystery at the Beach, Hockey Woes, and Case of the Stolen Costumes. These movies were all commercial failures, although they remain popular among pedophiles worldwide.

After the failure of their straight to video franchise, Larry and Morton Jr. went their separate ways. Larry went back to school and earned his degree in veterinary sciences. He now operates a dog salon in Los Angeles. Morton Jr. is currently serving three consecutive life sentences for a series of murders he committed in northern Oregon.

Morton Jr. has always maintained his innocence in the face of overwhelming evidence, surveillance video, and eye witnesses. He feels that he is in prison only because of racist police officers, judges, and jurors. When asked what his race actually is Morton Jr. said, "I don't know, turtle maybe?"

Ludwig von Koopa

Ludwig von Koopa

King Koopa's second in command took the firing the hardest of all the Koopa kids. Abandoned by his father Ludwig wandered the streets of New York alone playing a mouth organ for spare change that he used to buy cheap booze from the homeless. Salvation came to Ludwig in the form of famed composer John Luther Adams.

Adams was so moved by Ludwig's song that he decided to take the young Koopaling under his wing. They worked together to produce the orchestra Dream in White On White and then Sauyatugvik: The Time of Drumming. After this, Ludwig moved on to produce his own solo work including Pipe Land: The Opera and Requiem for Twin Bridges.

Lemmy Koopa

Lemmy Koopa

Lemmy rebelled from the public spotlight after being fired. Following his departure from the Mario series, he disappeared for many years as he traveled the world, seeking guidance from Eastern religions and experimenting with various forms of drugs. He backpacked through the Himalayas, dirtbiked through India, and took a ferry around Sri Lanka.

After his travels, Lemmy returned to America and became a counterculture hero. He wrote several books about his bizarre religious beliefs. He was also an outspoken spokesperson for gay rights. It is believed that Lemmy established the rule that if you are in high school and wear yellow on a Wednesday it means that you are gay.

After 9/11, Lemmy was deemed a dangerous radical and put on the government no fly list. After he criticized the decision while making an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live, a warrant was issued for his arrest. Lemmy says he never would have guessed that anybody would have been watching Jimmy Kimmel Live. He was barely able to escape government death squads and escape into Canada where he is living happily after finding out that marijuana is legal.

Roy Koopa

Roy Koopa

Roy tried his hand in a variety of enterprises such as bartending, teaching, Civil War reenacting, and dog grooming, before finally settling on his current passion, third world dictator. From 1997 until late 2003 Roy was the leader of the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Following his ousting, Roy accepted a position as dictator of Equatorial Guinea. It is less pay and less glory but Roy reports that he is happy with it.

Roy Koopa also has gained fame on the internet as one of the premier House fanfic writers. When asked about how he is able to put out amazing fanfic after fanfic he says, "I basically just follow the formula on the show. House thinks it's one thing, it isn't that, then he figures out what it is but nobody believes him. Then he does something reckless and proves that he is right. The difference between my work and the show is that I spice it up with lots of sodomy."

We look forward to you next piece of work Roy!

Iggy Koopa

Iggy Koopa

Iggy chose to return to school following his firing. He graduated high school at the age of fifteen and continued on to earn a duel major in robotics and robotology. Iggy has gone on to work with NASA and become a champion on Battle Bots.

In 2003, Iggy left NASA after a messy incident. Incorrect measurement conversation on Iggy's part led to a probe crash landing in Jackie Chan's palace and nearly causing nuclear war between China and the United States. Iggy lost all of his confidence and pride. Unsure in his skills, he took a job with Philips Electronics. He says he chose Philips because "Even if I screw up nobody in charge will notice or care."

A positive consequence of the NASA incident is that Bowser has reportedly became interested in rehiring Iggy. It appeared that he was excited about the possibility of having a long range arsenal beyond Bullet Bill. But talks between Iggy and the Koopa Troops have stalled recently. After hearing word that Bowser was attempting to gain weapons of mass destruction, Princess Toadstool threatened to send Mario to liberate Bowser in the groin. Fearing he would lose his ability to create children to serve as future end bosses, Bowser called off the negotiations.