Viva Piniata is the Evilest Game Ever!BLASPHEMY SEX PORNOGRAPHY SLAVERY CANNIBALISM! These are just a few of the sultry elements presented in what has got to be the most vile video game ever, Viva Piñata.
Viva Piñata is a gilded sweet shilled to our unexpected children in order to drive them to decadence. A sweet candy coating covers a rotten apple that when bitten steals away innocence not unlike the apple that brought destruction to Eden. At first, Viva Piñata seems innocent enough. Cute animals and sugary settings are convincing enough to fool any concerned parent, but as you play the game you begin to see the evil emerge.
The face of evil
Things get worse when you begin the game. A major part of the game is to attract piñatas to your garden. Did I say attract? I meant ENSLAVE!!!!! You must get these creatures to come into your garden by tempting them with material goods. Once they are tricked into your garden they are TRAPPED! Forced to do whatever you want. This is just like how Satan tricks the weak willed. The Jews can tell you how terrible this is. Oh how ashamed the lowly Jew must be to see their horrid history mockingly played out by blue rabbits in a video game. Viva Piñata is basically saying it is okay to take the souls of those that are too weak to say no to your tempting.
You can force the piñatas to sleep outdoors, unprotected from the elements, you can force them to mate, or even eat their fellow Piñatas. CANNIBALISM in its most blatant form! After you bludgeon a piñata to death with your shovel what do his brothers do? Weep, pray for the dead, NO! They descend upon the remains happily feasting on their fallen comrade without remorse or reservations. What a cruel trick to pull, openly mocking death and teaching children it is okay to eat your own kind. Where will we be when children who have been corrupted by this vile game begin murdering their parents just because they are hungry?
Sex sex sex sex. Sex is the vilest sin of them all, only preempted by GAY SEX! Well if you are a fan of sin, then Viva Piñata is the game for you and like a Rod Stewart album it only gets worse the longer it goes on. One of the main goals of the game is to get the piñatas to "romance" each other. First step is to fulfill their "romance" requirements. These are always physical requirements. The piñatas have to possess a certain item or eat something specific before they are willing to make love. There is no mention of intellectual or spiritual connections, only the cold connection of possessions. There is no love according to Viva Piñata, only desire to eat flowers or wear a fez. Then comes the act itself. Never is a marriage ceremony performed. Oh how Jesus weeps when these animals teach out children to engage in premarital hanky panky. If that's not bad enough the game forces you to watch the act. PORNOGRAPHERS I yell but my cries fall on deaf ears. Oh sure the game disguises the act as dancing but I know what it is, I can read between the lines. I know that when a Mousemellow cranks the tail of another Mousemellow it is really cranking a PENIS! A penis that is poisoning the youth of America.
Even worse than incestuous relations are homosexual relations. These animals are brightly colored which itself is a warning sign. Fears are confirmed when males gladly have sex with one another. While playing so that I could find out how horrible this game is I named my piñatas after biblical figures in order to combat the devil's influence. Imagine my surprise when Abraham and Paul went of to "romance"! I was so shocked and disgusted that I vomited into my imitation pope's hat. The Gay Liberal Agenda strikes once again. Strikes at our children's eternal souls with their steely knives of homoeroticism.
Now that the evils of Viva Piñata have been revealed how can we overcome these beast's reign of terror. Simple personal responsibilities and choosing to not buy the game are not options. There will still be fools throwing their lives into the pit because they don't follow simple directions and do what I tell them. The only solution is the complete ban of all video games. Not only this game but all video games most be burned! Only the holy fire of god can save this world. Then the fire most be put out with holy water. Only this way can the war against evil be won Viva Piñata? NO! VIVA JESUS!