"College" Mutant Ninja Turtles!
Hey, the turtles had to grow up eventually! So what happened to the half-shell heroes (who have saved my neck on more than one occasion!)?? Well, it turns out that they are doing what most ambitious older teenagers do! But the results could not be more different…Leonardo:
Leo has a lot of school spirit. Along with being a college republican, he goes out for every sport available and sometimes annoys his teammates with his constant intensity and competitiveness. Apparently football, basketball, hockey, soccer, tennis, golf, and baseball were not enough for Leonardo. After the first semester, he approached the university's athletic director on the street and proposed that the school adopt gymnastics and martial arts into their program as well. When the athletic director doubled over with laughter, Leo picked up a nearby sewer lid and threw it at him. Surprisingly to him, the director wasn't as resilient as a foot soldier and could not simply remove the pain by shaking his head. When the dean of students asked him if he felt any remorse over killing the athletic director, Leo responded, "Does this mean I can't be homecoming king?" The dean wanted to expel him then and there, but with the help of an intervention from Splinter, the university decided to just put him on academic probation.
Donatello:
Of course, Donatello seems to be a natural success in college, double majoring in computer science and health, with too many minors to name! Don is popular with his professors and is involved in nearly every club he can find. He has already logged the most volunteer hours and has one of the highest GPAs. His brothers, however, do not find him to be as much fun anymore. Michelangelo states, "He's always too busy for stuff and whenever we do play video games he'll only do the dumb strategy or brainy ones. I mean, who wants to play Big Brain Academy anyway?" Nevertheless, Don is very well liked with his other friends and was even elected president of his residence hall. And I wish I could keep my apartment as tidy as his dorm room! He claims that college is great and couldn't be better, except for "that one drunk girl who broke my bow staff by pretending it was a stripper pole."
Michelangelo:
Mike's first semester of college will most likely be his last. Michelangelo stays up for practically the entire night seven days a week, blaring music from his "Out of Their Shells" concert on his cassette player, making dorm life miserable for his roommates and everyone in a 100 yard radius. The dreaded "freshman 15" referring to the weight that incoming students put on, has certainly not been an exception for Mike. Because of his meal plan, he is allowed unlimited access to pizza in the campus cafeteria. Josh Robertson, a history major explains, "He eats more like a pig than a turtle. Instead of one or two slices, he always takes the whole pizza, making everyone else in line wait for the next one to cook. And what he doesn't eat, he throws at students! Every damn time he is eating he stands up on the table and shouts Food Fight! Of course, no one else participates, but that doesn't stop him." Students' frustration with Michelangelo's behavior does not end in the mess hall.
"When he is in class or the library, he will stand up and shout homework fight! He gave my brother's girlfriend stitches when he hit her in the head with a book. Yeah, my brother got pissed, but what can you do? He's a ninja or something right?" Sophomore Alison Hinton laments. "Good thing he seldom makes it to class. Why hasn't he been expelled yet?" As it turns out, Michelangelo has been diagnosed with acute Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and has been prescribed medication. Hopefully he can sprinkle that on his next pizza!
Raphael:
Playing the part of the rebel that he is, Raphael refused to enroll in college with his brothers. He reasons that college is lame and studying is for "stupid shells." After much pleading from Splinter and his brothers, Raph finally settled on enrolling in the local community college instead, thinking that he would find other students there sharing his contempt for the education system and authority in general. To his disappointment though, most of the people he encountered were more motivated to get ahead than those in regular college. Raph stormed out and vowed to never set foot in a classroom again.
Raphael took a liking to wandering around his brothers' campus at night in his trench coat and hat disguise to hurl college-related insults at the students, hoping that somebody would dare to challenge his sneers. The students, however, easily suspected it was the disgruntled turtle, and took pity on him. Raphael eventually decided to go to work in an auto garage where he was reunited with fellow scoundrel Casey Jones. Being free from Splinter's supervision has made the troubled ninja susceptible to frequent bouts of mischief, most recently with him impregnating a sanitation worker near one of his old sewer entrances. Let's hope she isn't minor this time, Raph!