Johnny Dangerous Explains Today's Marmaduke Explained
Joe Mathlete is flipping a shit about somebody copying his award winning formula, not that he is the first person to make fun of a comic in this fashion. To be fair to Joe Mathlete, The Blog of Hilarity’s version was really unfunny.
Joe Mathlete also says he is going to take a break. This is understandable because writing up to two sentences a day is rough work and he needs to recharge.
Joe Mathlete is dryly explaining what has happened in the comic without any additional jokes, thus making the lack of a joke the actual joke. This would be funny if he didnít do it at least once a week. He also made the odd choice not to comment on how angry Marmaduke looks.
You guys know I make music, right?
So my newest album has been alluded to for close to a year (on, among other places, our MySpace page), and it's finally out. It's a covers album, and I'm releasing it for free online. You can donate a few bucks via a Paypal link if you like what you hear, or if you're just feeling super nice, or if you don't believe Paypal actually works and you want to test your luck... any way you look at it, it's a wonderful way to help out this poor, down-on-his-luck bloggist/musician/part-time Imaginary Dental School student who just got his gear stolen.
If you're a fan of lo-fi home recorded bedroom pop (and who besides most people isn't?), you should probably check out THE MATHLETES OWN OTHER PEOPLE'S SONGS at http://oops.allstarpowerup.com. At the very least, there are some quasi-amusing anecdotes for each song, as well as some crayony album cover reproductions. Go on, go for it! Hey, nothing to lose, right?
01. Linger (The Cranberries)
02. Only Shallow (My Bloody Valentine)
03. ROYGBIV (Boards of Canada)
04. Choking Tara (Guided by Voices)
05. Unravel (Bjork)
06. Les Os (The Unicorns)
07. Race for the Prize (The Flaming Lips)
08. Seeing Other People (Belle and Sebastian)
09. Rocket (The Smashing Pumpkins)
10. Never Let Me Down Again (Depeche Mode)
11. Ghost (Neutral Milk Hotel)
12. True Love Will Find You In The End (Daniel Johnston)
13. What Goes On (The Velvet Underground)
Joe Mathlete has a band that puts out albums faster then Buckethead. His latest album is a cover album, so instead of listening to some random guy from the internet sing songs you never heard of, you will be listening to some random guy from the internet sing songs you never heard of that were written by other people.
Joe Mathlete is making a joke about Brad Anderson threatening his life. He does this despite the fact that in the comic Marmaduke likes the ducks and will be sad when they leave.
Self promotion ha cha cha
Joe Mathlete is promoting his business in which he draws pictures on index cards. The sparse success of this business is based entirely off of the popularity of Marmaduke Explained. This really eats at Joe Mathlete.
Joe Mathlete is pretending that he doesn’t know that the comic is implying that Phil (the real name for the owner) is going to the store after work.
Joe Mathlete thinks that the position Marmaduke is in makes it look like he is dead. He is also angry that Brad Anderson made a joke that is sort of the same as an earlier joke he made. We are supposed to ignore the fact that Joe Mathlete has made the “Marmaduke is dead” joke many times in the past.
Joe Mathlete didn’t feel like explaining Marmaduke today.
This explanation is different from the one where Joe Mathlete said Marmaduke is dying because he is saying a different character is dying. Apparently it does not count as reusing a joke, which is something Joe Mathlete always flips a shit about when Brad Anderson does it.
Bestiality jokes are funny.
I guess Joe Mathlete decided poetry was a funny substitute for an actual explanation. It’s also possible that there was a mix up and this was suppose to be the update on one of the eight other blogs Joe Mathlete has.
Again with the dying joke.
Marmaduke is chewing on one of the bones now. His owner-lady is looking in the closet, having just discovered that Marmaduke traded away her vacuum cleaner, for some bones. She is beginning to confront him about what he has done (trade away her vacuum cleaner). There seems to be something fucked up going on with Marmaduke's eye
Joe Mathlete wrote a long explanation for something that could have been explained very easily. He did this because he couldn’t think of a funny joke to make about this edition of Marmaduke.
Joe Mathlete says suckers is a word from the 1940s that is rarely used today despite the fact that it is more commonly used then the word lollipop.
Joe Mathlete often uses the caption “Marmaduke is an asshole” on days that he is too hung over to make an actual explanation. He is now using it as a slogan, and making a handsome profit.
We'll see how I feel next Monday, but there really is only so much of this hateful beast a man can take before he turns profane and/or violent so I'm not holding my breath for that quick a recovery. Anyway, perhaps you should read this for now
Joe Mathlete hit his breaking point. This is understandable because each edition of Marmaduke Explained takes upwards to a full minute to write. While on his vacation, Joe Mathlete went to a bunch of concerts. You may see footage of this on his blog. You can also see his unique criticism of Family Guy. Joe Mathlete thinks Family Guy has too many random moments. Nobody has ever pointed this out before.
Joe Mathlete is overreacting for humorous effect.
Joe Mathlete drank bad wine and got laid on his prom night.
Brad Anderson ripped off Peanuts in the sense that Snoopy’s dog house has a large, well furnished interior. Joe Mathlete is too busy name dropping authors he heard a college professor mention to point this out.
Joe Mathlete figured out a catchphrase that easily fits on a t-shirt.