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Choose Your Own Adventure with the Red Hot Chili Peppers

This is a Choose Your Own Adventure story. The choices and actions that take place are up to you. The possibilities are endless. Well not really endless, but there are still a bunch of possibilities. You can also die. Like if there is a choice, and you choose an option that is stupid, then you will probably die. It's your punishment for being such a dumbass. When you die it's only in the story, not in real life like some kind of crazy The Ring type horror movie.

 

"Oh boy I can't believe it," you think to yourself, "Who would have thought that I would ever win a chance to hang out with my favorite band the Red Hot Chili Peppers?"

But it is true. Because you sent in 1,000 Campbell Soup Labels you won a chance to spend the day with the Red Hot Chili Peppers as they work on their latest album, Funkasouras Rex. Who knows what kind of wild and erotic adventures are in store for you? As you arrive at the recording studio and are escorted into the building you can't help but wonder what will happen.

 

"This must be the mother fucker who won that contest!" Anthony Kiedis screams into your face as you enter the recording studio. You see that John Frusciante and Chad Smith are right behind him.

"It's time we showed this guy what it's like to truly party!" John shouts while wailing on his guitar.

"Hells yeah," Chad says with rage, "You won't be a virgin no more punk!"

Then the three of them start dancing around you in a circle. It's a little scary but also exciting.

"Wait a minute, where is Flea?" you ask. The dancing screeches to a halt.

"Where is Flea?" Chad asks.

"It is my deduction that he must be in the lavatory," Anthony says while puffing on a pipe. "Perhaps our young guest would like to retrieve him?"

"The crapper is down that hall," John says while wailing on his guitar.

 

If you agree to go find Flea turn to page 25

If you don't want to find Flea turn to page 115