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Nintendo Has An Insame Amount Of Accesories

The Nintendo Wii has many add-ons. From the nun chuck to the Wii Wheel, Wii Zapper, Wii Balance Board and the new Wii Wear, a pair of underpants controller for use with Bubble Bath Babes 2008, the Wii is a testament to Nintendo's willingness to innovate and make you buy more accessories.

This trend did not begin with the Wii though. Nintendo has been hoping people would buy stuff to enhance their video gaming experience for many many years. Some of these accessories are cherished, who doesn't love that gun you used to play Duck Hunt? Some had a little less success. Here is a look at some of the accessories Nintendo has tried to pawn off of consumers that may either were a little to out there or just plain dumb.

Super Game Boy

The Super Game Boy is a system that allows you to play Game Boy games through your Super Nintendo. This isn't that bad in theory. Getting to play Game Boy games on the big screen is kind of neat. When you think about it though, why would you want to do that? Game Boy games aren't designed to play on the tv so the resolution gets a little fuzzy. Also its black and white. The Super Game Boy did have a way to adjust the colors but unless you spend more time figuring out the color scheme then you spend playing the game then what you get isn't going to look much better then black and white

Also you can play the Game Boy anywhere. That means you can play it at the supper table, outside, in the bathroom, or even while watching a show on your tv. Mobility is like the best part of the Game Boy. Why take that away? There are only like three Game Boy games that are better the Super Nintendo games anyways. Just play the Super Nintendo.

Rumble Pak

Remember the bad old days when video games didn't vibrate? Thanks to heavy drinking I don't, but I hear it was terrible. Oh sure, you can see Mega Man get shot in the face, but what is he feeling? Is he shaking? Yes, probably. Thanks to the Rumble Pak you knew he was shaking. The Rumble Pak told you.

I remember the day I got a Rumble Pak. It came packaged with Star Fox 64 and was on sale for 35 dollars. That's a small price to pay for a brand new spanking game and a Nintendo peripheral. Plus Star Fox 64 is the sweetest fucking game ever. It is the Pinkerton of Star Fox games since every Star Fox game, since then has been a horrible disappointment and mess of lost opportunities.

But this isn't how shitty Star Fox Assault and Star Fox Command are (half shitty and completely shitty respectively) this is about the Rumble Pak making games shake. It was a cool novelty sure, but not really worth having to remove the memory card for. Once the batteries died I forgot about it completely. Then, Playstation proved you could shake without cramming machinery in tiny slots. Then I guess the Playstation 3 stopped having rumbling or something because they got sued. That's the story of the Rumble Pak. Move on.

Game Boy Camera

I was going to rail the Game Boy Camera as being the dumbest idea ever. It's a camera that connects to your Gameboy and is used to take grainy black and white photos. The photos look worse than the cameras from the 1800s that took nine minutes to take a picture and gave children cancer.

Then my good pal Wikipedia told me that the Gameboy camera was used to take the cover photo for Neil Young's album Silver & Gold. Neil Young is totally boss and anything he touches gets approval from me. They should have used him in advertisements. Neil Young reminds you to buy the Neil Young approved Game Boy Camera. Only priced three times as much as an actual camera. Also you need to buy Game Boy.

Nintendo Game Cube Broadband Adapter

This peripheral allowed Game Cube games to be played online. People who bought this better love Phantasy Star because that's pretty much the only game you can play online with the Game Cube. I'm not over exaggerating for the sake of humor either. Only four titles can be used with the Nintendo Game Cube Broadband Adapter and three of them are Phantasy Star and the other is Japan only. This is all part of Nintendo's exspansive plan to consistently have worse online support then their competitors.

Game Boy Pocket Sonar

Possibly the most insane acessory possible. You plug the equipment into the game slot, float a sonar sensor along the top of the water, and then you can see whether there are fish below the surface or not. At a cost of 14,800 yen (115 dollars) it is cheaper than a regular fishing radar although less effective because you are displaying the underwater conditions it on a gawd dang Game Boy screen. Serious fishermen would probably rather buy a more effective fish radar, casual fishermen would probably not care about having a fish radar at all, and kids would rather play Pokemon.

Nintendo 64DD

When it came time for the Nintendo 64 Nintendo chose to stick with cartridges rather then switch to cds. Then they decided this was a stupid decision and began work on an accessory that would use cds on the Nintendo 64, the Nintendo 64 Disk Drive. Then they back pedaled again and decided that using cds on the Nintendo 64 was stupid and put support for the Nintendo 64 Disk Drive on the back burner. Most of the games proposed for the Disk Drive got released on cartridges. When the Nintendo 64 DD was eventually released in Japan it was done very quietly with little support.


Rad
One oddity I found about the Nintendo 644 DD being abandoned is that the list of proposed games included Final Fantasy VII, Dragon Quest VII and a new Pokemon RPG. You would think the combination of sales from these three games alone would make the Nintendo 64 DD the biggest success ever in the history of Japan. They could release those three games on the same day and watch as the Japanese population went completely insane trying to decide which game to wait in line for. There would be riots and the Japanese government would be forced to dissolve.

Personally I hold a grudge against the Nintendo 64 DD. Earthbound 64 was suppose to be released on the disk drive but never was because the disk drive was put on the back burner and nobody working on Earthbound 64 knew how to program for the Nintendo 64. I directly blame the failure of the Nintendo 64 DD on why Mother 3 (Earthbound 64) was not released until recently. The fact that Nintendo won't port it to America is a completely separate, and rage inducing, issue.

SNES Mouse

The SNES Mouse is awesome. Sure it is really only useful with Mario Paint, but on the other hand it allows you to play Mario Paint. If I devoted as much time to actually learning how to paint as I did to Mario Paint then I would be a famous artist right now. Instead I just made epic pictures about Mario.

The SNES Mouse also worked with other games. Usually not as well as a controller but it was still technically a function. Eye of the Beholder used the mouse and I played that game all the time, although I suspect that was because I didn't own any good RPGs like Chrono Trigger or either of the Final Fantasies. I didn't even own fricken Arcana. My game collection had some major holes in it.

There was also a game that used the mouse that was only released in Japan that taught you the history of mayo. That is the best game ever.

BatterUP

This is a bat shaped controller you would use with some baseball games on the SNES such as Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball. It uses motion sensors to know when you swing the bat and makes the player do the same. When it was revealed that the Wii controller does the exact same thing people were really excited about the new technology. Technology in the video game mostly consists of taking something that has already been done, giving it a new name, and pretending its new.