The Library Is Stupid
The library thinks there all so high and mighty with their books and their other things, but they only let you take out books for two weeks then you gotta bring them back. Too bad I'm busy and I never read a book in less then five months. So then when I finish it and have to take time out of my day to bring it back they tell me I have to give them nine cents in fines!!! Mother fucker stupid ass librarians how about you take that nine cents and stuff it up your crusty old vaginas. Fuck you and your library.
So then you try to impress me and are all "Hey we got DVDs now," gee big whoopy-doo you know who else has DVDs? Family Video. Plus they got porno. At a place called Family Video, because your 50 year old unmarried uncle is also part of the family and its not like he knows how to work a computer so he has to rent all his porno. The library doesn't have porno. They just got normal movies, like I need normal movies. Like I said, I am aware of the internet. I can illegally download all my movies. I have over nine movies on my computer: Batman the movie, Batman, Batman Returns, Batman and Robin, Operation Dumbo Drop, The Never Ending Story II, Willow, Beneath the Planet of the Apes and All Dogs Go to Heaven. Does the hoity-toity library have that collection? No they do not. All they have is poop that you can put in your mouth and then suck on.
Then they go and get CDs. Oh am I suppose to be impressed because I am not impressed. I refuse to support anyplace that puts pop and rock in the same section. Madonna and Neil Young should not be grouped together. Oh and why are some Bob Dylan albums in pop/rock and others in country? Probably because you're like ninety years old and don't know anything and just sit around talking all day about how you need Metamucil in order to poop and are too busy trying to poop to properly categorize the CDs. Go to hell old woman!!!
I SAID GO TO HELL!
Am I suppose to think you are all cool because you have all the Calvin and Hobbe's collections. That is pretty cool… but you still suck balls!1! Why don't you sit on your butts behind your desk and look on Google images for pictures of birds all day in order to make a bird themed screen saver. That's a good use of your time. Maybe I'll be more productive then that in my life not that its hard to be more productive then that. I may spend five hours a day reading Sonic the hedgehog fan fiction but I'm still more productive then you old bitches. Here's a screen saver you should make, "stupid old librarians," you can get all the images at www.yourastupidoldlibrarianandlibrariescansuckmycock.net.
Speaking of the internet the library thinks its special because it has the internet and computers. Well so do I!!! You don't see me bragging about it. I don't go up to strangers and yell "I have a internet"!!! While jumping up and down and screaming and beating my chest. Why would I use the library internet? First of all you have to sign in and that is a hassle. I sign in with a fake name or just drawn a tiny obscene picture. Then I get on the internet and I'm not allowed to download anything. Like hello, I like to download shit. How about giving me administrative privileges so that I can do that and also change the background to a picture of myself? I asked the librarians for administrative privileges and they said no. What a bunch of old fucking windbags.
Then they go and put this internet filter on. I can't go to any website that I want to go to. I can't go to myspace.com, facebook.com, nakedbabes.com, or buyweedandcrack.com or bigblackcocksinlittlewhitebitches.net or hotspicymexicans.gov, not no sites that are good. Its like they have a rule against fun. Makes me want to smack them upside the head and yell "What yo problem bitches!!!"
I'm getting so worked up I cannot even go on. I am so angry at the library that I want to go outside and scream and pee out the window. He is a quick rundown of the rest of my complaints
- There are only three stalls in the bathroom and two are handicap stalls
- There is a maximum age for story time
- No copies of Atlus Shrugged by Andy Ryan
- Too many windows
- It is located near the river and it is always windy
- Too many fat chicks
- Not enough hot chicks
- Its not spelled Lieberry
- The librarians are crusty old vaginas
- The copy of Flowers in the Attic lacks pictures
- The carpet is ugly
- Only five books on Sasquatch
- The library is stupid and poopy
I hate the library!!!
This is a library and it is stupid. Look at all the books. They are all stupid gay books.