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Children's Letters to Obama

There is a book released that features children’s letters of Barak Obama. The book’s purpose is to inspire/cash in on Obama’s cult like following. I believe that capitalism is nothing but the wine of the Zionist devil birds and want to destroy the book’s possible success. I have gotten my hands on some letters from a few websites and will wreak havoc on Jory John by featuring them here, for free, with my delightful commentaries. Take that free market economy!

Dear President Obama,

Here is a list of the first 10 things you should do as president:

1. Fly to the White House in a helicopter.

2. Walk in.

3. Wipe feet.

4. Walk to the Oval Office.

5. Sit down in a chair.

6. Put hand-sanitizer on hands.

7. Enjoy moment.

8. Get up.

9. Get in car.

10. Go to the dog pound.

— Chandler Browne, age 12, Chicago

I can’t help but feel that the dog pound comment is some kind of racist remark, like black people are no better then stray dogs or something. Flying into the White House in a helicopter would be pretty cool though. I hope it is something Obama considers doing.

Dear President Obama,

If I were president, I would tell people to not talk too much. It wastes time. I’d also say to war: no more, no more, no more!

— Catherine Galvan, age 6, Chicago

Calvin Coolidge shared young Catherine Galvan’s idea of the over use of words. Silent Cal never minced words, or worked a full eight hours as president. Mostly he played tennis and took naps. Some say he suffered from clinical depression but the truth is he was retarded, with barely a functional IQ of 60. It was all he could do to not wet himself during press conferences, much less run the country in a competent fashion.

Dear Obama,

I have grown up with a very liberal mom and a very conservative dad. Thank you for bringing my parents somewhat closer together. :) You are my idol Mr. Barack — I am partly African-American and I am very happy to see an African-American leading this country.

— Olivia Roper-Caldbeck, age 12, Seattle

Olivia needs to thank Bush. It was Bush who first got liberal and conservatives together. They were drawn to one another by their mutual hatred of George W Bush. As Olivia is somebody who is sort of black but not really I’m sure she feels comradeship with a president who is sort of black, but not really.

Dear Sir Obama,

These are the first 10 things you should do as president:

1. Make everyone read books.

2. Don’t let teachers give kids hard homework.

3. Make a law where kids only get one page of homework per week.

4. Kids can go visit you whenever they want.

5. Make volunteer tutors get paid.

6. Let the tutors do all the thinking.

7. Make universities free.

8. Make students get extra credit for everything.

9. Give teachers raises.

10. If No. 4 is approved, let kids visit the Oval Office, but don’t make it boring.

— Mireya Perez, age 8, San Francisco

This letter really should have been sent to Arne Duncan. I’m not sure why Obama chose a former basketball player to be secretary of education who isn’t Magic Johnson, but whatever. Hopefully those volunteer tutors can teach Mireya the definition of volunteer.

Dear Obama,

If I were president I would have fun, because I could run fast.

— Kenja Zelaya, age 6, Los Angeles

Kenja thinks the president is The Flash.

Dear President/Mr. Obama,

The best thing about living in the White House would be running around like a maniac. The thing I would like least is the work.

— Holly Wong, age 9, San Francisco

What’s with you kids and thinking the president runs around a lot?

Dear President Obama,

I am small, quiet, smart. I love to swim and play basketball. My mom and dad are from the Dominican Republic. I am going to the Dominican Republic next year. I think you should try to change the world by building shelters for the people who live in the streets. It’s the beginning of January, and it’s cold. Good luck being the president.

— Pamela Mejia, age 11, Boston

Who cares what you think you’re jumping ship? Besides, if Jimmy Carter is any indication you don’t start building homes for poor people until you lose an election

Dear Pres. Obama,

Good job on winning. I heard about Area 51. I wanted to ask you if there are any U.F.O.’s there. I think that you should tell people in public the truth about Area 51. You would just maybe say, “That we will take care of it.” And do it.

— Edwin Jara, age 9, New York

This kid needs to see the award winning film Independence Day. Not even the president gets to know everything about UFOs son. That’s how top secret it is! That was Independence Day where the president didn’t know that the government knew about UFOs right? I might be thinking of a different movie. I’m not entirely sure on.

Dear President Obama,

Could you help my family to get housecleaning jobs? I hope you will be a great president. If I were president, I would help all nations, even Hawaii. President Obama, I think you could help the world.

— Chad Timsing, age 9, Los Angeles

Keep aiming for the stars Chad!

Dear President Obama,

You are just like a big me, because I am from Chicago, and I am biracial and have curly hair. I live in Seattle now, but I’m still from Chicago. I have an idea. Why don’t you give everybody, even the homeless, 10 dollars every day? And don’t forget to give the kids money, too.


Avante Price, age 7, Seattle

You liberals can’t just keep throwing money around and expect it to solve the homeless/children problems plaguing America.

Dear Barack Obama,

Something happened to me: I went out to lunch at Starbucks and I wanted to buy a cup of whipped cream and normally it’s 43 cents, but now it’s 74 cents! The price raised 31 cents for no reason. So you should probably try to change things like that from happening. You should keep an eye out for things like that.


Alexis Feliciano, age 9, Brooklyn

What kind of parent allows their nine year olds to eat whipped cream and nuts for lunch. First of all that’s not healthy and secondly it sounds like something a child molester would offer to feed a kid before leading him to a windowless van. Not that I know from experience or anything.

Dear President Obama,

I know you want to save the Earth, but people don’t want to clean. My life is to clean up all the world and help you to clean. I always dream of cleaning the world for you. I’ll do anything for you because you are the president in this world.

Stephanie Gonzalez, age 7, Los Angeles

It's like Danny Tanner had a baby with Captain Planet.

Dear Obama,

When you became president I was so happy and I went to go tell my mom and dad and they were so happy that you won. Everyone in my class was so happy and we started to celebrate and we got pizza and it tasted so good and we got chocolate cake and pumpkin pie and it was so good. Are you nice? Are you smart? Do you have a wife?

Christine Pliego, age 9, Los Angeles

The only time I got treats at school because of a regime change is when Saw Maung led a military junta in Burma, or as my teacher called it Myanmar.

Dear President-elect Obama,

Congratulations on the election. My name is Moses Williams, I am 12 years old and I want to be a director. The job of president is kind of like being a director. "Director of the country!" I think if I were older, more experienced, and in this position I could help you with relationships with other countries because, well, most of the world doesn't really like us and a lot of my friends were people who didn't like me at first. Thank you for reading.


Moses Williams, New York

Like America, Moses’ friends still don’t like him. They only tolerate him because of his wealth and military might.

Dear Barack Obama,
We like reading "Cat in the Hat" and "Snug Bug." We also like math and science. Is it true that you're getting a dog? Jasmine has a Chihuahua named BaBii and it never grows. You should get a snowman dog, because it melts, and name it Rocky. Your daughters should have snowball fights but not inside, outside.
Jasmine Aguilar and Kimberly Galvan, ages 7, Chicago

Jasmime and Kimberly are the kids who sit in the back of the classroom that the teacher never bothers to collect homework from.

Dear President Obama,

I want to say you are the bomb. I love all your speeches. Even my grandma does. I feel sorry for your grandmother but she's there up in heaven watching over you. When you get to the white house you will have our help.

I'm so happy that you are becoming president. Can you make a change about the cops? They need to pay more attention at the Lincoln Tunnel.

Write back.

Your friend,


This letter wasn’t from a child named Asia, rather it is from 80’s supergroup Asia. They all think Obama is in the heat of the moment and the person who will stop the rain. Unlike Bush he is not a little rich boy military man. Only time will tell if Obama is the voice of America. There is after all suspicion that after the war it will be too late, but hopefully he will be the voice of reason.

Right now some prog fan is laughing his ass off at that paragraph.

Dear President Obama,

I like the way you think about turning off the T.V. and letting kids do their homework. I know so many things that the people in the world want you to fix. Do you think you can do it? We CAN make change. I believe you. Everybody believes you. Barack, we can do it. Yes, we can.

Don't forget leadership and responsibility is what we are looking for.

Change we make. Change we believe.



Did Obama make a law against TV watching before homework is done? What kind of lame kid supports that? This letter is probably from the teacher.

Dear President Obama,

I knew you would win. You easily won by a landslide. Do you think you can lower taxes? Just 20 dollars. My mom wants to move. I do too. The house we want to move to cost twice as much. So, can you please do that? I hope you have a good time being president. I know I would. I also hope you get free time. How did you get to spend time with family and do the election? Also can you really bend the rules? If you can please make children do less homework. Especially on holidays. On holidays they load us with homework. One last request. I promise it's my last one. Can you make Friday a weekend like Saturday and Sunday?



Darnell is a kid with his head on straight. He wants less homework and tax cuts in order to stimulate the housing market. I highly doubt Friday will become a weekend, I’ve been lobbying for that since I was six with little success.

Dear Barack Obama,

My name is Shareef and I am writing to you to say congratulations on being the first black President. Your wife must be very proud of you. Also your kids too must be proud. Also I'm African American too and I might be just like you. When you get to the white house please try to stop the war for once and for all. Obama I'm very proud of you especially my mom. She's really proud because she woke up 5:30 AM to go vote for you and I went with her. Please write back to me when you get a chance. To tell you, I'm nine years old in the 4th grade. Obama, you're the man.



Shit, I would hate any president who made me get up at 5:30 in the morning.

Dear President Obama,

Congratulations on your win to be president of the United States of America. What are you going to change about littering, gas, and wars? Are you going to make hunting stop? Are you going to lower taxes? Are you going to give more money to schools? What are you going to do about stock markets? What are you going to do about parking spaces? What are you going to do about more jail time, book store prices, gas prices, robbers, the laws, houses, and long lines in Pathmark?

Your Biggest Fan,


When I think about the problems facing America I definitely put gas prices, wars, the stock market, and the lines at Pathmark in the same category. Pathmark by the way is a super market in the Northeastern United States. Rafi seems very concerned about environmental issues such as litter, hunting, and parking spaces, but what would you expect from the person who wrote Baby Beluga.

Dear Presidental Man

How are you? I am cool. I like Hamtaro and Ninja Turtles. One day my mom spanked me because I wouldn’t stop pretending to be Rapheal. He is the coolest ninja turtles. I think you should make it illegal for people to make fun of other people just because they are too scared to use the unrinal. Its embarrassing because that make fun of me for peeing in the stall and then they take my shirt and put it in the toilet so I have to wear a shirt that is wet and smells like pee. Also libraries shouldn’t have things on the computers that prevent you from looking at porn. Why are my tax dollars restricting freedom of speech? I think you are cool Im glad you beet bush. Goodbye

Love Johnny.