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Bush On

So a Bush speech writer is releasing a book which has some inside quotes from George W. Bush on fellow politicians. Here are the examples he is giving to the general press:

On Sarah Palin: "'I'm trying to remember if I've met her before. I'm sure I must have.' His eyes twinkled, then he asked, 'What is she, the governor of Guam?' … 'This woman is being put into a position she is not even remotely prepared for,' he said. 'She hasn't spent one day on the national level. Neither has her family. Let's wait and see how she looks five days out.'"

On Barack Obama: "He came in one day to rehearse a speech, fuming. 'This is a dangerous world,' he said for no apparent reason, 'and this cat [Obama] isn't remotely qualified to handle it. This guy has no clue, I promise you.'"

On Hillary Clinton: "Wait till her fat keister is sitting at this desk.

On Joe Biden: "If bull– was currency, Joe Biden would be a billionaire."

You might notice that Bush is pretty critical, as well as funny. If he had shown half as much personality while president then people probably wouldn't have thought he had Downs Syndrome.

I was able to speak with Matt Latimer, the author, and he gave Dumb Baby an exclusive on some quotes in the book he hasn't released to any other news source. Don't ask me why he did this, he just did. It certainly didn't have anything to do with that box I had in the closet that I refused to let anybody know the contents of. Just trust me.

On John Kerry: "Nice man. Seems like he knows what he's doing. Smells like cat piss though. That wasn't just me right? You all think he smelled like cat piss right? It's like he laid down in a litter box and let kitty give him a golden shower."

Speaking of golden showers, I've tried them. Not all the media makes them out to be."

On Bill O'Reilly: "Man does this guy want to blow me or what?"

"I swear it was this big." Bush on John Edward's head

On Lech Kaczynski [President of Poland]: "He had a boner during the entire meeting. He was trying to hide it but I was right there and I could see it."

On Tony Blair: He said this in a falsetto voice while waving his hands effeminately, "I'm Tony Blair oooh, I'm a big lady who likes boys."

On Wind Waker: "Mother fucker, enough with the fucking sailing already."

On Condoleezza Rice: "At first I was a little apprehensive about her, but Condi knows what she's doing. I'm glad I picked this bitch."

To Barack Obama about his wife: "I'm not saying she's a gold digger, but she ain't messing with no broke niggers. What? No fuck you that was funny."

On public speaking: People always criticize me on messing up during speeches. I don't mind. They make jokes and think they're better but the fact is I'd like to see them make a speech while blackouted drunk and not screw up a couple of times."

On Squirtle: "Like I'm going to pick a water type. There's like a million water types in this game. How many fire or grass types can you name? Like three."

On Valdimir Putin: "Talk about a douche bag. Hey Vlad how about you don't eat all the donuts you dog fucker?"

On Conan O'Brien: "This is one funny chick."

On Hugo Chavez: "I can't figure out what this guy has against me."

On Kayne West: "This nigga got me figured out."

On Dumb Baby: "Funny site. I love it. Definitely proof that the gays have a place in the entertainment industry."