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Degrassi TNG: Soap Opera Summer 2010 - Week 5

"Still Fighting It" part 1

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Anya is throwing some sort of male sex auction. She tells Riley he should be a part of it so she can start up a bidding war between the football groupies and Zane. Zane and Riley are still in a rocky place. Currently they only talk about math. Anya tells Riley he needs to come out already, that way instead of talking to her he could be over by Zane flirting, and rubbing his chest. Anya really needs a boyfriend of her own. This is episode 353 exploring the fact that Riley is afraid to come out.

Riley asks Zane to get a coffee and Zane agrees in the weirdest way possible. I think it is suppose to be a gay accent but it sounds like me when I'm imitating an English fop. This is an imitation I pull out when I'm pretending to be shocked by something that isn't very shocking. I may also pretend to drop my monocle in a drink, although I don't think fops usually wore monocles. One of the football players makes some gay jokes which are fairly inoffensive. I'm not gay but the gays I've known wouldn't be upset at somebody who implied that wearing pink makes you gay. They would go along with the joke and pretend that the person with the pink shirt really is gay and then kiss me.

You know Zane, maybe if you didn't run off crying all the time people would stop making fun of you. I'm not saying that it is okay to make jokes that somebody finds offensive and gay people need to suck it up, I'm just saying people ended up accepting Marco and he is way gayer than Zane.

Clare is upset that her ballad in poetry class only got an A-. Fuck off Clare. Eli tells Clare she should have used his notes and she retorts that it would then sound like rejected Adamisonfire lyrics. Initially I assumed that was a band the show made up because it's a retarded name and I had never heard of them. In reality it is a Canadian post-hardcore band formed in 2001. I don't know any bands formed after 2000 unless they feature Dave Grohl or Mark Lanagen in some capacity. I wish they would do a band together, that shit would be the sex.

Clare wants her and Eli to become more than just friends but neither one can get things to go. Clare thinks they just need the right setting. Then it turns out for their video Shakespeare project they are going to be doing a scene from Romeo and Juliet, so splendid. Thank God for coincidences like that. If they had Hamlet then the closest thing to a romantic scene would have been when Hamlet dry humps his mom and that is more sexy than romantic.

That guy is way to old to be in school

Riley doesn't understand why Zane gets mad about gay jokes. Zane also wears white and purples knit shirts with the collar up like a warlock so there's two mysteries about the guy. Luckily there is a LGBT round table that night so Riley can show up and prove to Zane that even in the closet he supports the gay agenda. This episode is just full of helpful coincidences

Wesley wants to sign up for the man ho auction and Anya agrees because she thinks it will be funny. Wesley hopes Anya herself will vote for him. She went out with Sav forever, so I guess her standards are pretty low.

The B team kids are filming Shakespeare in the park. Clare and Eli are taking on the acting roles because they can't figure out if Adam would play Romeo or Juliet. Eli and Clare are doing the final death scene but decide to amend it so Romeo and Juliet kiss. As opposed to doing a scene where they do kiss. Adam thinks this idea is retarded and is sarcastic about it. Other additions to the play include diet Coke and a ray gun, making it the best adoption of Romeo and Juliet since Romeo Must Die.

Riley has a huge room.

His mom has no idea he likes boys and tells him not to wear a shirt because it is too zesty. I guess his parents don't like gay people. Did this come up in the previous 353 episodes about him being gay? I'm not sure; I'm always forgetting details from the earlier 10 seasons of the "Riley is Gay Shhh Don't Tell Anybody but Anya" show.

Riley wore the zesty shirt. This is symbolic

Zane relates how it hurts when people on the football team make gay jokes because he feels signaled out. The trouble is most people who play a "manly" sport like to make fun of others for whatever makes them different. Zane should be glad that nobody has pulled their eyes squinty and said "My name is Zane and I put pee pee in your coke" because that's what I would have done and it would have been hilarious.

The meeting makes Riley realize he is a self hating homophobe, which I thought he already knew.

Riley vows to never make gay jokes or put up with them. When Mini Connor calls something Wesley wants to do gay Riley gets into his face and scares him so much he drops his clarinet. For real, he has a clarinet.

Take that homophobia!

Wesley wants to study Drew so he can be more like Drew and lose his virginity. Step one: stop hanging out with Dave. Step two is to become Drew's tutor. Wesley is the science teacher's clone or something so teacher is more than willing to accommodate even though Drew is in a higher grade.

During the tutoring session, Wesley comes clean to Drew that he wants to be just like him. Not in a Single White Female kind of way. He just wants to be cool. Drew agrees to teach Wesley his ways, but only if Wesley successfully shows him the way of knowledge.

Clare is pumped she kissed Eli. In her hyper Christian upbringing a kiss during a movie is the equivalent to third base. Eli seems to be giving her the cold shoulder however in class. Clare thinks this means trouble in paradise. As a man, however ,I can deduce that Eli probably feels the same about Clare today as he did yesterday. The reason he is being quiet is because he stayed up late watching Adult Swim and is tired. Clare is going to read deep into his silence.

"The gay jokes in the locker room, they aren't just jokes, they mess people up," Riley laments. He sound like a public service announcement

When you say something's gay do you know what you‘re saying? Fuck off.

Then the scene spoils Spartacus for me. Hey guys, I was going to get around to watching it eventually, they don't have it at my local Family Video and I haven't bothered to sign up for Netflix yet. Thanks a lot. How about I spoil a movie for you Degrassi? Annie Hall was dumb and boring. How does it feel? How does it feel to know how a movie ends?

Riley poorly does laundry so all the team's shirts are pink to show that being gay is okay. Most of the people wear the pink shirts, since you know, they're just practicing in them. They'll be covered by football pads and jerseys anyways. Also they are going to get sweaty and dirty so it's better to wear a shirt you don't like. The only person who even cares is that guy who really hates gay people for some reason.

Clare confronts Eli about why he is ignoring her and not returning her calls and how they need to discuss their feelings that were developed through the plays of Shakespeare. Feelings Eli denies exist. If it turned out he was gay and liked Adam then it would be super shocking and intense but Degrassi can't have more then two gays at a time (unless a third gay shows up to add drama to their relationship) so it turns out he just isn't that into her. It is a shame too because they were such a cute couple.

Episode ends with Riley finding that somebody wrote HOMO. Uh oh, it's a mystery! Find out who did it in part 2

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