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Degrassi TNG: Soap Opera Summer 2010 - Week 6

"All Falls Down" part 2

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It's Vegas night and these kids who are too young to gamble have already figured out how Craps works, putting them a step above me. The student with the most chips at the end of the night gets a flat screen TV. The flat screen TV by itself is like double the budget of my entire prom.

Adam tells Drew that he should come clean about Bianca cleaning his pipes in the basement. How does Adam know this happened?

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Bianca comes up and makes comments about how she and Drew were in the boiler room, right in front of Alli. Hey! Who would have thought the person who doesn't like Alli and is evil wouldn't keep this a secret? Nobody but Drew.

Drew comes clean and tells Alli he and Bianca were kissing in the boiler room. He kissed her with his penis. Drew is terrible at being in a relationship. There are a lot better lies he could have come up with, like they went to the boiler room to practice a play, or they had to set Freddie Krueger's remains on fire. Those are meaningful things.

Alli tells Drew he is not allowed to talk to Bianca ever again. This shouldn't be a problem for him, they never talked before this episode. Under this agreement Alli gives Drew another chance.

Any hey, Chante Black is running the roulette table. This supports my theory that she is not a student anymore. She is chaperoning the dance.

Drew starts his new life of not talking to Bianca by talking to her, telling her they can't anymore. Alli tells Bianca that she shouldn't kiss other people's boyfriends. "Kiss? That's what you told her?" Bianca laughs before turning to Alli and saying "Yeah kissing. Shlurp slhurp shlurp" while fellating an invisible penis. Alli calls Drew disgusting.

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Fritz's mom bought Clare a corsage. Fritz also tells Clare he only wants to have sex with her in theory. Like how I want to have sex with April O'Neal. It's probably not going to happen and I'm no longer pursuing it. Clare asks if it's possible to end the feud and Fritz says the last time he tried ending it Eli had him arrested. Eli is a dick. Fritz says all he wants is an apology.

Drew and Alli win king and queen but since Alli has taken off she and Drew cannot accept their crowns. So Sav sings a horrible love song to Holly J instead. I guess if you can't have romance, you can at least have comedy.

Eli calls Clare "Judas" because she dated a guy to make the guy not hurt him. Also he is mad she wouldn't drug Fritz's punch. Eli says Clare should let him handle his own problems. That last time he handled this problem he falsely accused Fritz of a crime, which I'm pretty sure is illegal. Also, I guess giving Fritz the icepack would also be a crime. Eli is a criminal.

Eli agrees to apologize although he doesn't think he has done anything wrong.

Holly J tells Sav to meet her in the theater in ten minutes. Looks like it's blow job time for Sav. They can't do it in the boiler room, Bianca has it booked up.

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Eli gives a crappy apology and offers a toast. Clare tells them to switch cups, as the ancient Romans once did. As it turns out, Eli is as wily as Bugs Bunny and was expecting Clare to do this so he had drugged his own drink, resulting in Fritz vomiting on the floor. Unlike real life where vomit sends people running to the doors quicker than Sav singing, here the background actors barely acknowledge the action, or smell. Clare says Eli deserves whatever Fritz does to him.

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Owen sees Alli and asks her where Bianca is. Then he tells Alli that she could be a really high end escort, although all he has to offer is 50 bucks. Alli agrees to this so she can make Drew jealous and make some cash.

Drew calls Bianca a slut and she points out that he cheated on Alli the first chance he got and questions if he even likes her. Bianca, the whore with the brains. Bianca then tells Drew that Owen paid 50 bucks for an Arabian blow job.

Owen doesn't understand that Alli is only in the boiler room with him to make Drew jealous. Owen, being the class act, calls her a tease and goes into rape mode. Drew shows up just in time.

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Clare apologizes to Fritz for what happened but Fritz is pissed. He grabs something it is a switch blade or a switch blade comb. It's a good thing he did this in front of Clare instead of after she left so that she can now testify against him when Eli is stabbed to death in a pool of urine.

Clare does the sensible thing and tell Adam that Fritz has a knife instead of an authority figure. Maybe she figures Adam can beat up Fritz and take the knife.

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I guess Adam must have told somebody with authority because Simpson puts the school in lockdown mode and tells Drew's mom that a student has a knife. She asks Adam where Drew is and Owen tells her he is trying to have oral sex in the boiler room. At least the guy is honest.

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In the theater, Holly J has put on Fiona's whore dress and started to get hot and heavy with Sav. It is a good thing she brought it with her to school that night. They get interrupted by the Mounties. Sav has already had one baby scare, it's about time the government stepped in to make sure Sav never breeds.

Mama Drew enters the boiler room and asks the crying Alli what she did to Drew. Okay writers, I understand she is a mama bear but that means she is fiercely loyal and protective of her kids, not retarded.

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Eli tells Clare he won't run away from Fritz even if Fritz is going to carve an F into his belly. I think the knife is overkill. Fritz could probably bruise Eli by glaring at him too hard. Eli decides this is the time to apologize. I like his thinking. "Hey I poisoned this dude, and that didn't work. I guess I'll try the political rout now."

Fritz stabs Eli, but it was just a fakeout. He stabbed the wall next to Eli. Eli still pees his pants, so he almost ended up like JT.

The police show up and Fritz surrenders.

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As Eli and Clare are leaving the school--yeah I guess the police didn't feel like taking them down to the station for questioning--Eli relates how when he was nine, a kid used to beat him up. I guess that justifies provoking people. I know Fritz isn't innocent in the whole affair and really was the one who started things, but he tried to stop it a few times. All Eli had to do was be the bigger man and stop trying to get revenge.

Clare and Eli come clean to Snake about everything that has happened and Snake gets pissed. Then the officer that found Holly J shaking her money maker tells him what was going down in the theater. Snakes gets even more pissed. His testicles, that have been on vacation for the past 40 years, finally dropped and he becomes a man. Snake gets Super Saiyan Pissed and puts all these punks in their places, vowing that when they all return to school they won't recognize it anymore. Snake is going to blow up the school. It is all going to fall down.

Grade: D

This show has gone to shit. The Riley story was a nice little coda to his conclusion in "Still Fighting" but everything else sucked balls. Did the writers forget they already sort of did a story with KC this season about somebody drinking their problems away? And that Eli story just pissed me off because we are suppose to be on Eli's side but he does worse things than Fritz. Adam's part about wanting to fight to prove he is a man was okay but would have been way better if Eli was off listening to Taking Back Sunday instead of messing up the story, and the grade probably would have been higher.

Who should get kicked in the face?

Everybody involved.

Final Thoughts

The grades for the Degrassi Summer Blow Out or whatever it is called has gone down with every week. I guess all the effort went into the first two weeks.

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