TwitterfacebookTumblrMyspace
The Web BtC
Previous Episode Next Episode

Degrassi: "Don't Let Me Get Me" part 1

Season 10 Episodes 25 & 26
Canadian airdate: October 8th, 2010

Boycott the Caf name: "Alli and Jenna"
Important characters: Alli, Jenna
Issue of the Week: Alli and Jenna's bullshit

Part [1 - 2]

In 2010, the hooliganism rate in Degrassi Community School rises four hundred percent. The once great school becomes the one maximum security facility for the district. A fifty-foot containment wall is erected along the Degrassi street sidewalk, across the Dot, and down along Gay Town. It completely surrounds Degrassi Community School. All crosswalks and intersections are mined. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, like an army, is encamped around the school zone. There are no guards inside the school, only students and the worlds they have made. The rules are simple: once you go in, you don't come out.

Degrassi 1025

Degrassi has changed since that non-stabbing at the end of the Summer Ho-Down. New rules are in place. The students have to wear uniforms and pass through a metal detector. Alli hates this because she can no longer dress as a drag queen while at school.

Clare says the uniform makes her look like Barney the Dinosaur. No it doesn't. That makes zero sense. "Who knows if we'll even be able to think at this new Degrassi?" she whines. Oh shut the fuck up, Clare. It's a school. Yes, you will learn now, because now you'll get in trouble for skipping class, which the students at Degrassi used to do on a daily basis.

I don't know why, but Clare is really annoying me today. She still has that college girl look, so I think she reminds me of those annoying people I knew in college who smoked cigarettes and were always going on about how "Americans are all sheeple who mindlessly drive SUVs in support of the Resident-in-Chief Bu$h Hitler's war on brown people" but they know they truth because they read Al Jazeera.

I'm not going to get into questioning how Degrassi can afford all this new security. I've been so beaten down by this show never making any sense that I have just learned to sip some vodka and let it roll. I just want to know why these measures weren't put into place six years ago after the Rick shooting, but instead after a school dance where no one was hurt, things just got a little out of hand. A metal detector isn't going to stop anyone from stripping in the boiler room. If anything, stripping in the boiler room will only increase. I was in school in northern Michigan when the Columbine school massacre occurred. All my school did in response was install video cameras all over the building, so if someone did shoot up the school, at least they're be a lot of footage for the local news. Except the cameras never actually worked. After I graduated, one of the parking lots was vandalized. Of course they had no way to find who did it.

Degrassi 1025

Mr. Simpson makes Holly J and Sav read the new rulebook over the closed circuit TV system. Clare complains this is fascism. No it isn't, you whiny bitch. The rules aren't even that restrictive. They just say you can't bring a weapon to school or make out in the hallway. Every school in North America has those same rules. You Degrassi kids have just gotten soft on never having to obey any rules before. Degrassi is the Las Vegas of high schools.

Degrassi 1025

Jenna is still a contestant on American Idol Canada. One of the other female contestants asks Jenna why she is wearing a bulky sweatshirt. Jenna does not admit that it is to hide her pregnancy, so the other contestant just thinks Jenna has big flabby gut. The other contestant also brags that she has 32,000 Twitter followers. That's not impressive. The average Degrassi actor has about that many followers and no one watches their show. I would like to know how someone gets that many Twitter followers. We only have about 1,000 followers and I bet at least 300 of those are vacant accounts of girls who slit their wrists since following us.

Degrassi 1025

Alli wants to put to put the oral sexcapades behind her, so she joins the Science Club, in order to be amongst people who will never have sex. Adam part of the team. Adam is trying too hard to be a boy. He is too small to play football, so he wanted to join something else that only boys do. He does look much more like a boy then he did in the summer episodes. He looks like a young teenage boy who has an unusually large amount of fat protruding from his chest.

Outside of Degrassi, Jenna is being interviewed for American Idol Canada by a producer who looks like that girl from Hellboy who could create fire with her mind. It's a good thing Toronto is the only city in Canada so Jenna can still go to school while competing on a national TV show. The producer wants a hook they can sell Jenna to the audience with. The producer asks, "When people hear the name Jenna Middleton what do they think?" Um...I don't know..."She's got a big ass?" Jenna does not want to reveal she is pregnant.

Jenna asks Chante to come over because she needs an adult to sign a permission slip.

Degrassi 1025

Mr. Simpson is making Alli attend some kind of self-esteem building seminar, because she was involved in the boiler room incident. Only girls have to take part in this, Drew gets to skip it, even though he was the central player in this whole fiasco. Clare tells Alli this is a double standard. Remember when Degrassi used have someone (Emma) spout off about how sexist something was? Degrassi was kind of into feminism in the early years. This was until they had Craig and Peter constantly get rewarded for being absolutely awful to women. Also, every Degrassi girl has lost her virginity though rape or either gotten an STD or pregnant from it. Really, Degrassi is probably the least feminist show on TV that doesn't star Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla.

Degrassi 1025

The girls only self-esteem meeting is led by the woman who I think handled the Great Gonorrhea Outbreak of 2005. She talks about how girls need to learn to be confident. I'm pretty sure she wants to get them to put on a high school production of The Vagina Monologues.

There sure were a lot of girls giving blow jobs in the boiler room.

Did Alli even have sex in the boiler room? I didn't exactly watch that episode because the other loser here reviewed that one. Based on the consistency of this show, I imagine she did not, but the writers forgot.

Degrassi 1025

The meeting has a smoke break. Alli sneaks into Bianca's bag and finds her cell phone. Bianca is a Degrassi girl, so her phone contains naked photos of herself. Being a devilish little minx, Alli forwards the pictures. She says she forwarded them to everyone. This is Alli, so she probably just typed "Everyone" into the "To" field and thinks she sent the pictures to everyone in Canada.

You know what? I think we as a society need to be a little more old fashioned when it comes to the sexy pictures. Stop recording these things digitally, girls, it make them too easy to copy, and can lead to thousands of people seeing them who have no business to. In the old days, when grandma wanted to send grandpa a sexy photo, she took a Polaroid of her cooch and grandpa kept that photo hidden in a shoe box, only taking it out for those lonely nights. No one else ever saw that photograph until the couple passed away and their kids had to clean out their belongings and discovered a side of mom they never saw before. My point is, even if you use a digital camera, get a photo printer, print out a single copy of your sexy little pict and then delete the file. Sure, a boy could still spread it around with a scanner or copier, but most teenage boys are way too lazy to even turn a scanner on.

Degrassi 1025

Also, Jenna announced on American Idol Canada that she is pregnant. KC and his mom are watching this live at the western restaurant because it's the only place they can watch cable. KC's mom is surprised. KC never told her he will be having a child. KC's mom wants him to man up. She doesn't want KC to become as horrible a parent as she was.

KC's mom is a total GILF.

Part [1 - 2]
Previous Episode Next Episode