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Degrassi: "Love Lockdown" part 2

Part [1 - 2]

The episode opens with a nude Declan lying under a comforter that I guess they had in the living room, since it looks like they did it on the couch. Also he has Holly J's shoe stuck up his ass. It is a good thing Declan and Fiona don't live with their parents anymore, apparently, since it would be awkward if their mom walked in on them doing it in the living room. Like all women do after having sex, Holly J leaves the room while crying.

Declan thinks that a drunken booty call means he and Holly J are back together. You would think a cool pomp good will hunter like Declan would just use women to satisfy his desires then cast them aside like the soiled dirty thing they are, but this boy wears his heart on his hat.

During breakfast, Fiona reveals that she got drunk and passed out in order to get Holly J to stay over. It's the perfect plan, not in the sense that it worked, but in the sense that any plan that requires drinking until you pass out couldn't be better.

Chante Black thinks that putting sticky notes in the bathroom is the way to protest Snake's new tyrannical principalship. She put one up yesterday and now there are a bunch. Instead of complaining about the lack of cheerleading, she should probably be upset that the janitor is apparently skip out on cleaning the stalls in the bathroom.

Declan thinks Holly J is avoiding him, so he asks Sav to get her to call him. That's a ballsy move, asking the boyfriend of the girl you boinked to get her to call you. Good thing Declan is enough of an asshole to pull it off.

Clare wants to get matching dragon tattoos on her and Eli's back. Rebellious Clare is awesome. Nothing is cooler then a dragon tattoo. Check out that dragon tattoo in the picture. Actually that dragon tattoo isn't anything special, but it's on a lady. Who isn't wearing a shirt. Hee hee hee.

Eli's continued refusal to wear the uniform gets him detention. He tells the teacher he can't change who he is and his clothes are an expression of who he is. Look at what he is wearing. Maybe if he was wearing a leather jacket, had a mullet, and was named Uncle Jesse he could say that, but anybody else is just going to look like a tool. A tool with detention.

"How can school dictate how I choose to express myself?" Eli complains. Because your under 18 and don't have any rights, that's how. You're at school to learn, not impress everybody with how many black coats you own. Maybe if you hadn't expressed yourself into almost getting stabbed this wouldn't have happened, or wait, there is no maybe. If you hadn't provoked Fritz this definitely wouldn't have happened. You are the sole person to blame for this Eli, well also Fritz, but I'm pretty sure he acknowledges his role in all of this.

Eli getting detention makes Clare decide he should meet her parents. I guess because both of those things are punishments.

Fiona tells Holly J about Declan returning to school and Holly J throws up in her mouth a little bit. Fiona doesn't understand because Holly J and Declan did it all over the couch, so logically Holly J should be happy. Holly J doesn't want to talk about it to Fiona because she is Declan's sister. I don't see what the big deal is, they've both slept with the guy.

Holly J is upset because she feels like Declan pressured her into having sex and she didn't want to go that far. This story would be more interesting if she wanted to have sex but let him pressure her into anal and now her butt hurts a lot and is sticky.

Declan lives in a castle.

Fiona tells her brother that he should go home to New York because he had sex with Holly J when she didn't want to even though she did have sex with him. Declan is surprised. This isn't the first time he's raped somebody I'm sure, but it is the first time he didn't have to pay them to not go to the police

Declan shows up at the restaurant Holly J works at, let's just call it The Dot Out West. He starts a very work inappropriate conversation about having sex. This is not the place to talk about it. Declan pleads that he thought Holly J changed her mind about sex when she started having sex with him and she says she probably did but was also confused so its not entirely his fault, only like 87% his fault.

It's also an awkward dinner at the Edwards household. I don't think it's because Clare's wild boyfriend is over. I imagine all dinners there are awkward. Clare isn't helping by trying to make her parents hate him. Also, Eli can't say grace because he is an atheist. I don't know why he can't fake it, its not like he is going to upset the atheist god.

I have that same coffee cup!

Snake sees his tiny car covered in sticky notes. It is a good thing all the extra security measures means it is easy to catch people who vandalize cars in the school's parking lot. Also, the fact that Chante Black is standing behind the car might throw suspicion on her.

Fiona tells Holly J that Declan is out of her life forever and she might want to see a doctor because he pokes tiny holes in his condoms with a needle. He really needs to produce a male heir. Holly J can't believe that Declan would leave without talking to her just because she told him she didn't want to talk and that he thinks she thinks he raped her just because she told him that he forced her to have sex.

Women, comedians aren't just making up jokes when they say men never understand what you are thinking.

Here is a picture of Snake's car. I probably should have posted it when I was talking about that scene, but I got really excited over that coffee mug.

So, Snake is pissed at Chante and tells her this isn't the way to make her point. Degrassi needs to amend its image and for some reason getting rid of extra circular activities will make Degrassi look better in the community. Like all those inner city schools in poor areas that don't have extra curricular activities. Chante says that to some, Degrassi is about community, and that when you take away clothes, internet and clubs you ruin the community.

This retarded ass speech does not work because there is still some logic in the world. It's a good thing too because if Snake changed everything he had done because a vandal was upset about him making school not fun then I was going to fly to Canada and punch somebody in the balls.

Instead, Snake says he will set up a forum so students can give feedback on what they think needs to happen. He will also look into getting clubs back. Chante says that isn't good enough, she needs a hard promise in order to make sure that cars don't get vandalized. Snake gives in. Awesome, terrorism just won. Good job Snake, on your watch Degrassi officially responded to a threat from a student with appeasement. Strong leadership.

Clare is dressed like a slut and keeps trying to make out with Eli in the hall. This is more annoying than you might think. This is because Clare is scared her parents are going to get divorced so she needs to keep them mad at her by acting like Darcy. Eli isn't going to be a pawn and says he is out.

Holly J comes over to Delcan's house to see him before he leaves. Declan tells her that he is going away forever and Holly J will never have to see him again. Except that won't be so easy cuz Holly J got into Yale, the school Declan is going to! Hotchie Motchie! They definitely will be in close contact, Yale isn't a very big school, after all. I bet they end up in the same dorm and all of the same classes.

Clare's parents are yelling at each other about progressive tax cuts. Then Clare comes home and they start yelling at each other about whose fault it is that Clare turned out the way she is. Maybe they aren't getting divorced they just enjoy yelling, or think they are talking normally but are going deaf.

The parents give Clare the rundown, divorce, it's not your fault, it's not fair to you that we argue all the time. We all know the spiel. We all had BABES or some other elementary school program that covered divorce. This is better because it has a slut.

Holly J tells Declan that she doesn't think he raped her. Declan asks how to make it up to her and Holly J says she needs time to figure out what's going on. She asks Declan to call her a cab but instead he starts sucking on her shoulder. Nah, just kidding brah. Holly J leaves without any sex type things happening. Declan won't keep her trapped in a love lockdown.

Grade: C

Not horribly offensive, I suppose. Not entertaining either. It's all just pretty blah. I think the trouble was that none of the B plots were very good. You gotta bring the drama in the A plot and then throw in a B plot that is nothing but fun. Something with one of the nerdy kids trying to be cool or Spinner being outrageous. That's what makes a good episode.

Final Thoughts

Snake really is the worst principal Degrassi has ever had. Sure Radtich had a school shooting, Mrs. Hassafrass just sat in her office all day, and The Shep was a racist, but at least none of them were bullied by their own students. I predict anytime anybody wants anything they are going to trash his car and then he will give in if they promise not to do it again.

Part [1 - 2]

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