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Degrassi: "Umbrella" part 2

Part [1 - 2]

Degrassi 1030

Ellie rebuked Clare's advances, so now Clare is a woman scorned. She is really mad that Ellie didn't want to share his room. Ellie's parents are also mad they didn't have sex, but Ellie knows it is a bad idea and his parents are creepy for having suggested it. Clare demands that Ellie return her watch, but Ellie refuses. Clare can't just take it back because Ellie is not wearing it due to the fact that he is under 40.

Clare really wants her watch back. She and Adam decide to go over to Ellie's house during their lunch hour and take it. If this was Degrassi before all the new rules, they just would have skipped 3rd period and spent the rest of the school day sipping coffee at the Dot.

Degrassi 1030

Meanwhile, Mini-Connor wants back into the Blank Panthers of Canada. Note: the Black Panthers of Canada have 50% white membership. Canada has very few black people compared to the United States. Also, an incredibly small number of Hispanics. Canada also has a much lower crime rate than the US. Not that I am implying any sort of link or anything.

Degrassi 1030

Clare and Adam arrive at Ellie's house. Cousin Eddie answers the door. He is very drunk. Hey, it just turned noon, so it's cool. They can't get into Ellie's room because he always keeps it locked. His parents don't even know the combination. Ellie probably doesn't want his parents smoking pot in his room.

Clare tries to unlock Ellie's bedroom door using his locker combination, but that doesn't work. Of course not, the locker combination was made by the school. Adam suggests 22-04-09, which is the date Ellie's last girlfriend died. Ellie's last girlfriend died? I don't usually watch episodes I don't have to review, and Johnny has had to cover most of the Clare-Ellie madness, so this is news to me. Possibly Johnny as well. Also how is 22-04-09 a date? There is no 22nd month. What, is this the metric system at work? Maybe it's backwards and Ellie's girlfriend died on September 4th, 1922 and was a ghost when he met her. That would explain the hearse somehow. Ellie has been sad ever since his girlfriend's spirit found peace and ascended to the other side. Sure, he made that happen when he helped her granddaughter find the long lost buried gold that belonged to her family, which allowed them to keep the old farm. And he did it out of love, but was still sad to see her fade away.

Degrassi 1030

That combination works and Adam and Clare gain access to his room. It is very messy. I mean, I've seen messier when it comes to teenage boys, but this is what happens when you don't let your mom clean. Not that Ellie's mom would be any good at cleaning. I'm sure this is the nicest room in their whole house.

Let's move on. Since Adam talked to Fiona, she has reconsidered his brother and is starting to talk to Drew. At this rate, they will start dating when they are juniors in college. Adam is jealous, but Drew doesn't understand how Adam can expect to date a girl when he doesn't have a penis. Hey, that never stopped JT. Sure the best he could do for years was Manny right after her abortion, and the only girl he had sex with was Liberty, but he did get Mia in the end. And her only baggage was a child and an angry ex-boyfriend who caused him to be killed. JT really had a thing for woman who got pregnant.

Degrassi 1030

Ellie's locker is also a mess. How did he get so much junk in there? He's only been at Degrassi for a little over a semester. Clare cleans it out for him, because part of dating a boy is cleaning up his messes. I don't understand why that is. Like, what is up with all the girls I knew in college who did their boyfriend's laundry? Whether it's some innate characteristic of women or a result of socialization, I believe it comes from the same part of the brain that in men causes them to brag about their poop.

Ellie has a bunch of records in his locker. What a hipster douche. What, you got a lot of time to listen to records in school?

Degrassi 1030

Ellie freaks out that Clare cleaned his locker and frantically goes thought the trash bin to get back what she threw away. He also grabs other people's trash. Hey, there's half a eclair in there. Sweet. As sweet as Eclare, the stupid fan name for the couple, who also belong in the garbage.

Turns out, Ellie is a hoarder. Hoarding is a very topical and relatable subject for teens today. They must get A&E in Canada, because A&E has a reality show about hoarding and I guess the Degrassi writers watch it when they are hanging out in each others apartments on Saturday night to drink pop and playing spin-the-bottle with each other. Look forward to future episodes where Connor becomes a bounty hunter and Anya goes to live with Gene Simmons.

Adam tries to talk to Fiona again, but he is all frustrated from love and jealousy and such and can't get the words out right. Fiona decides to forgot about both of the brothers and goes to a bar.

Degrassi 1030

To get back into the Black Panthers, Mini-Connor steals a taser from his father's patrol car. I guess his dad gave him the keys to the cop car. The Panthers are excited to see the closest thing to a handgun they will ever see in Canada and tell Mini-Connor he must taser White Connor to prove himself worthy of their love and affection. White C tells Mini-C, "They're the kings and you're like their jester." No, because Mini-Connor is never funny. Mini-Connor tasers his loser friend, causing White Connor to cry out and poop his pants.

I can't believe the Black Panthers wanted Mini-Connor to use the taser on his friend. They are not the Candy Bandits, that is for sure. The Bandits would have never harmed another person, unless that person was between them and the candy store. They would have used the taser to see if it could short circuit a gumball machine. After a couple of hours, they would discover that gumball machines don't run on electricity, and smash it open with a crowbar, the sweet, sweet gumballs spilling to the floor like they struck oil.

OK, so Clare's parents have changed their minds. They will let Clare stay in their current house and they will split the weeks they'll each spend here and at an apartment they will rent together. Wait...so Clare's parents are splitting up, and moving out of their house...to share an apartment? So they just want to get away from Clare then. I can understand that.

Drew talks to Fiona at the Dot. Fiona does not know about Adam's T, because information like that certainly would not spread to every student faster than Manny's boobs. I mean this is the generation that is connected to the web 24/7 and Adam did come to school one day as a girl, but I guess Fiona never heard about it. Was she in Degrassi at the time? I think she was. Maybe she called in sick that day to sleep off a hangover.

Drew didn't tell Fiona that Adam has a bun but no hotdog. Instead of taking an interest in Drew because Adam told her to, Fiona has now taken an interest in Adam because Drew told her to. It was weird that Fiona was just supposed to go out with whichever brother the other brother agreed should have her. I find it interesting that Degrassi has a trans boy taking part in a story that is sort of sexist.

Degrassi 1030

Ellie's mom talks to her son in his hearse. It is raining outside. Ellie is not over his dead girlfriend and he hoards all this junk because he thinks if he throws anything away, he is throwing away her memory. His dad said they can just go to the pound and get him a new girlfriend, which is why Ellie doesn't talk to him in the car. Ellie's mom says something somewhat comforting and Ellie feels better. The rain stops and I'm sure the producers were really proud of that metaphor.

Degrassi 1030

Mini-Connor wants White Connor to forgive him. WC says he will, only if he gets to tase MC. Mini-Connor reluctantly agrees and braces for the pain. Instead, White Connor grabs Mini's nipples and they roll around the ground. Mini retaliates by grabbing his friend's nipples. Don't get the wrong idea, They are not gay for each other. They are just two men who like to wrestle on the grass and play with each other's nipples.

Degrassi 1030

Clare helps Ellie clean out his room. Ellie is reluctant to throw out his binder, but Clare says they can buy a new one. If it is something he needs for school and is still good, why throw it away? I can see why he freaked out when Clare cleaned out his locker. Clare probably threw out some homework that he needed to hand in that day. "Oh, Ellie, calm down. You can always do the assignment over. It's no big deal. And your locker is so cleeeeaaannnn!" Ahh!

Ellie has many rock band posters on his wall. I don't know who any of those bands are, even if I could read any of that. I do know that if Ellie were a teenager in 2000 rather than 2010, he'd have Blink-182 and Linkin Park posters up there. Don't any kids today like the White Stripes? How about the Yeah Yeah Yeahs? They are both still active and I think Adam-Clare-Ellie (ACE Team) would dig 'em. Then we might have something in common other than having crazy parents and messy rooms.

Clare says Ellie can keep his umbrella.

Degrassi 1030

Part [1 - 2]

Grade: C-
This episode had a lot of potential in Part 1, but mostly blew it in Part 2. I mean, hoarding? They did a hoarding storyline? Season 10 Phase II has been pretty meh so far. It's weird how each episode has been a two-parter and they are still rushing through stories.

Does It Go There? No
We're still doing this section?

Who Should Get Kicked In The Face This Week?
Cousin Eddie & Katherine. Not that they would be sober enough to feel it. At least they never tied a dog to the back bumper of a car and drove off. That would make a person a monster.

What the Forum Fags Are Saying:
Clare used to be one of the more tolerable characters. Now she's becoming one of the most annoying. The way she's handling her parents' divorce is really terrible and out-of-character. Also Eli's parents are awesome. - Three

I hope Fiona and the ten year old girl playing adam scissor. - Stormy
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