Degrassi: "Halo" part 2
Part [1 - 2]
Jenna thinks that because she is pregnant and the father is a loser her body is sending out pheromones to attract other losers AKA Sav. Chante can't believe that she didn't know Sav and Holly J were together, after all, she is the blackest woman at Degrassi, she should be the master of juicy gossip.
Adam pops out of nowhere saying "Secret party." It's not going to be much of a secret once you start handing out those brochures there bro.
KC tells Jenna that he wants to go to baby class next time but Jenna tells him to stuff it up his pipe because Sav is her new baby daddy. KC is like "No way" but Jenna says, "Sav came with me last time." Coming in class, sounds like something Wesley would do Hey-Oh, he creamed his jeans.
Wesley is going to take Anya to the secret party, and he has no reason to fear that he might ruin another perfectly good pair of kakis because he has some random pills he bought from a Yahoo ad. All they cost him is $19.95 every month until he gets enough courage to admit to the lady at the bank that he had to buy sex pills.
Fiona is surprised that Adam is behind the secret party. Sure he gave out the invitations and you have to text his phone to get the directions but who would have guessed? Fiona says she will see Adam there.
Jenna freaks out when she finds out Sav doesn't want to be the teenage dad of her baby. She doesn't understand the difference between a true love and a person being nice to the unwed teenage mom without any parents or income. Jenna also thought the volunteers at Salvation Army were in love with her. Jenna argues that Sav tried to be a good dad for Anya's baby those few times he impregnated her, but Sav says that was all a lie.
Wesley got Anya a limo. How isn't this boy the mack daddy of Degrassi? That's a pimp move right there. Wesley got a limo because he knows Anya likes to bone in them. He just needs to get himself engaged to an Indian before the secret party.
Sav explains to Holly J about how he sent the wrong signals and Jenna kissed him. Then he says he feels bad because she would never keep something like that from him. That's funny because he totally had wild living room coitus with Declan. Holly J ends up admitting to Sav that she accidentally had sex with Declan. Sav has doubts that it was actually a mistake. Even if Declan tripped or something why wasn't Holly J wearing underpants?
Adam and his team of merry do-gooders have cleaned up the old church in Eli's backyard because teenagers partying in a ruined building will be upset by old pop cans and random pallets.
Sav appears to be talking to Jenna and said that Holly J had sex with Declan. I don't know the details. Let me tell you something, I worked a nine hour shift today during which a deer ran into the car I was driving. I pulled a hamstring climbing over the consol to get out of the car because the driver's side doors were completely unusable, now I'm at home, I've had a few drinks and Nancy is watching a show where Bam Margera is showing his penis. I have too many distractions in my life right now to keep paying attention to such uncharismatic people.
Anya and Wesley are at that restaurant that Holly J works at. She is really rude to them. Does she not like Anya? I guess she is upset that her relationship with Sav is falling apart, but if she acts like that to every table she is going to get fired.
Anya starts felatioing a mozzarella stick. This almost makes Wesley put some ranch sauce in his BVDs. I usually ejaculate after I eat a mozzarella stick but that's me. Wesley spills water on Anya, which according to the symbolism in part one means she had an orgasm. Anya goes to the bathroom to clean up and he takes a bunch of the internet pills.
Jenna and KC both missed their bus. This is weird because this scene takes place after the date scene. They must be eating an early dinner if the school bus hasn't left yet. What else is weird is that Jenna was standing at the bus stop when the bus left so I don't know why she missed the bus. Maybe she doesn't know how to board a bus so she just stood there for ten minutes not saying anything until the bus driver eventually departed. KC asks her is she is upset because of her hormonal changes. She is a woman, so yes.
KC tells Jenna that he isn't proud that he acted like a pussy when he found out she was pregnant but he still loves her. Jenna takes him back because she is legally retarded. Then they run in the opposite direction that their bus was going
I don't know why Anya is such an unreachable plateau for Wesley. She LARPs, which is actually nerdier than anything he does. Anya suggests going to that hip party all the kids are talking about on their cellular phones but he can't get up from the table because he can't stop being up. He ends up admitting to Anya that he has a boner and also is having a heart attack.
Activate boner menu shield it's time to go.
Jenna runs into Holly J's place of employment and tells her that Sav told her he loves her. That's confusing. I want to remind you that I made a joke in a previous review about Holly J working in a subsidiary of The Dot that was western themed. I don't remember what the joke was and don't feel like looking it up but pretend I have been referencing it in case I decide to make it a running gag.
Jenna gets Holly J out of work by grabbing Odd Job's tits. Then the three of them catch a ride to the secret party in Wesley's limo even though he is going to the hospital because Degrassi now officially makes less sense than an episode of Saved By the Bell.
At the hospital, Wesley is told that he will be okay if he drinks lots of water. Then Anya's mother's cancer doctor walks by because I guess we are acknowledging that abortion of a storyline. I was going to take a screen shot of him talking to Anya but Degrassi loves to jump quickly from one person to another when they talk without ever giving me a decent shot of them together, so fuck it. Anya tells Wesley she has a thing for him. Anya tells Wesley he will make a good boyfriend to somebody else because he threw the sweetest most planned out date she has ever been on, but he has Jew hair, so she won't date him.
At the secret party the kids are listening to The Strokes, I assume. Is it just me or do all songs by The Strokes sound the same? They are like AC/DC but without "You Shook Me All Night Long" to break up the monotony.
Don't worry about that screenshot, Sav isn't actually doing anything. Adam knew that putz would want to DJ so they put a turntable next to some old motherboards. The music is actually coming from a boom box set to a local rock station because these are teenagers throwing a party in an abandoned building and that's the best they would be able to do goddamnit!
KC runs up to Sav and tells him he needs to get to the limo because Jenna is having a baby but it is all a ruse to get him in a confined space so he can make up with Holly J. That is something that would happen on Yes Dear. Next season Jenna and KC have to move into Sav and Holly J's guest house.
Well, it looks like it's time to wrap up the rest of the storylines.
Wesley convinced Dr. Chris to have coffee with Anya because he is the sweetest boy in the world. If Dr. Chris ends up in a relationship with Anya then he will be charged with statutory rape.
Later, Wesley tells Mini-Connor that kissing Anya smelled like cotton candy. What the fuck does that even imply? I don't know.
Holly J tells Sav that when she was with Declan their was pressure to be a princess but when she was with him their wasn't any pressure to be anything. She didn't even have to change out of her sweat pants. Sav, to his credit, recognizes this as bullshit, although he ends up taking her back, so I guess he is a pussy.
Adam can't get a hold of Fiona to get her to go to his party. I do not care.
KC and Jenna end up getting back together, I suppose. I do not care.
It's the second best boner related episode in the show's run. It's too bad it wasn't one episode with all of the other plots removed because those were all so idiotic it made my balls hurt.
Number of plotlines: 7
This is counting ones that didn't go anywhere like Drew dating random girl and Chante Black.
Number of Tolerable plotlines: 1
Part [1 - 2]