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Degrassi: "When Love Takes Over" part 1

Season 10 Episodes 33 & 34
Canadian airdate: February 12th, 2011

Boycott the Caf name: "The Love Episode"
Important characters: Adam, Fiona, Anya, JD Dorian, Holly J, Mini-Connor
Issue of the Week: Transgender dating (Jeez, how many times does TV have to cover that same old topic again??)

Part [1 - 2]

Degrassi 1033

It's Valentine's Time in Canada. Obviously, Sav will be spending the holiday alone.

Degrassi 1033

Holly J is manning the flower booth. Anya comes up to buy some flowers and Holly J offers her the "best friend special" which I assume means Holly J just gave Anya some flowers without paying for them.

Holly J and Anya are best friends? Since when? Like, the last time they spoke, Anya called Holly J an asshole who no one likes. They must have realized they have to be friends because neither of them have any other friends. It's the Emma-Manny dynamic.

Actually, Holly J had Jane and now Fiona as a best friend. She should tell Anya to stuff it. Anya has nobody and before that only had Sav, which meant she had to wear a burqa at his house and the only girl she could talk to was Alli. And all Alli only wanted to do was watch iCarly and brush her My Little Ponies. Holly J has the upper hand, but I think she had to forgive Anya because her mom has cancer.

Degrassi 1033

In the previous episode, Adam threw a party just to see Fiona, but she did not show up. Fiona tells him she could not attend because her great aunt died and they had to fly to Argentina to attend her funeral. That side of her family down there is German and a lot of them are barred from entering Canada.

To make up for it, Adam puts Fiona in his play (I think Fiona is the one who should make up, but whatever). On the stage she says, "I don't cook and I don't clean. I expect meals for me prepared three times a day." I don't think she is reading Adam's script. That is just what Fiona says during every job interview.

Adam tells Ellie and Clare that he is smitten for Fiona. Fiona doesn't know Adam is transgender because, as Adam says, "Fiona keeps to herself" at school, which is code for Fiona being a stuck up bitch.

Adam's plan is to get to know Fiona and then find the right opportunity to come out to her. He asks Fiona if she would like to get together after school to rehearse. Fiona says yes and then something that sounded to me like, 'I have to cancel my Wii Day, but Yoshi will deal.' Aw man, invite Adam over to play Wii.

Degrassi 1033

Now we go to the hospital, where Anya is there with her mom for mommy's brain cancer checkup. The doctor shows them a scan and says, "Here are the results of your most recent MRI" and then doesn't say anything else. It's a weird pause. I think it may have been intended to be for dramatic effect, but came off like the doctor expected Anya and her mom to know how to interpret an MRI image. Oh, JD Dorian, you have a lot to learn about being a good doctor!

Anya's mother's cancer is all gone. Sweet, she only had brain cancer for, what, four months then? Everyone I know who has had cancer spent at least a year in treatment. I will go ahead and chalk this up to Canada's stellar health care system and not the writers being dumb.

Degrassi 1033

Anya is so happy that the doctor saved her mom's life that she wants to bone him. She notices that he has "Leslie Pizza" written on his day planner. This information is somehow useful to her.

The doctor plans to have pizza with someone named Leslie. Leslie could be his girlfriend. Or Leslie could be a boy's name. And the doctor could be gay.

Anya tells Holly J about her crush. Holly J reminds Anya that he is a doctor who is not Doogie Howser, so he is an adult and far too old for her. But Anya says his is only a first year resident, which from watching Scrubs and learning the progress a doctor makes through his career, tells me this doctor is still a young man. This doctor even reminds me of JD. I bet he fights with the janitor, too.

Holly J does not like that Anya is falling for this guy, telling her that if she spends more time around him, she'll realize how gross men are. If Degrassi were a good show, this would be when Holly J starts rubbing Anya's shoulder and then they would share a tender kiss, but Degrassi is only Degrassi so they don't.

Degrassi 1033

After school, Fiona invites Adam to her condo. Have you ever noticed that Fiona is supposed to be rich, yet her condo has no windows anywhere? Adam looks at her snow globe collection. I have an awesome concept for a snow globe. The figures will be three people who have flailing their arms and appear to be running in terror. The "snow" will be painted in very thin yellow and black stripes. So when you shake it, it looks like the people are being attacked by a swarm of bees.

Fiona pours herself some champagne. Adam is fine with it because it's not unusual for a teenager to be drinking after school. What's unusual is that it's with anything better than a 40oz beer.

Degrassi 1033

Before they kiss, Adam reveals that he is transgender. Fiona is totally fine with this because 1) she is buzzed and 2) she doesn't even like a penis unless it's her brother's. HO-YAH! I went there!

Fiona mentions that she is from New York City (even though she and her family all have Canadian accents) where she has known transgender people. In fact, her mother's hairdresser is named Wilma, but used to be William. I would criticise trans people who just flip the gender their birth name around as being lazy, but that's what I did. I do admit to being lazy, though.

Fiona spills some wine on Adam's pants. This is what sucks for Adam about not having a penis. A cisgendered guy would use the opportunity to make sexual wisecracks like, "Better lap this up, baby. Don't wanna waste beer!" or "I got something on tap for ya!" All Adam can say is, "um...excuse me Fiona...do you have a change of pants, please? Hurry--oh dear--before this soaks into my crevice."

Degrassi 1033

Anya and Holly J wait for Dr. Dorian to show up at the pizza place. Oh, so Pizza Leslie is the name of a restaurant? Maybe Canada only has one pizza place. It sure is bright out for 7pm during the school year. This is a weird set up, too. It's outdoors and the only pizza place I have ever seen that takes reservations. And why is there a ten foot tall wooden fence half covered with bedsheets behind them?

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Anya is too shy to talk to Dr. Dorian, even though she has spoken to him many times before. Her scheme is to have Holly J fake that she is choking, so the good doctor will come to their rescue. Anya can never come up with an idea that isn't really dumb. She is the stupid version of Tom Sawyer. When Holly J points out how dumb this is, Anya reminds her, "I faked a pregnancy for you." Except Anya benefited from that and Holly J did not.

Holly J fakes choking and Dr. Dorian is there with the Heimlich Maneuver, which is great because even doing that correctly, you still risk bruising the person's ribs. Also, I've taken CPR and First Aid training, and you're not supposed to start with the Heimlich Maneuver. First, you give the victim five back blows, which are safer. That's a really basic rule I knew without looking it up. What the hell kind of training has this doctor had? I bet he misread that MRI and Anya's mom is going to drop dead in two weeks.

Back at school, Anya phones Dr. Dorian, who asks her out. Anya tells him, "My college seminar at...college is over at 5." It makes Anya sound like she is bad at lying, but that's how I described college when I was a student, as I rarely knew the names of the classes I took. In fact, I referred to every Communications or Journalism class I had as Media Immersion. I also called the cafeteria the caf, but no one understood me, so I quickly dropped it. It took me a long time to make friends.

Degrassi 1033

Adam has changed into Declan's clothes, which turns Fiona on. Fiona helps him put on his tie, because as a trans boy, I guess Adam doesn't know how to tie a tie. Too bad I'm in my 20s, so of all the men I know, my dad is probably the only one who would know how to tie a necktie.

Fiona looks at Adam in her brother's clothes, pictures Declan and then kisses him. I finally realized that the girl who plays Adam is able to convincingly play a boy, because when he and Fiona kissed, I wasn't aroused. I sure hope Adam enjoyed Fiona's wine breath.

Degrassi 1033

The next day at school, Fiona tells Adam it is best they forget they ever kissed. Ellie thinks that Fiona only liked Adam because she was drunk. Adam came out to her while she was drinking, so it's likely she doesn't even remember that he is trans.

Degrassi 1033

There's also a dumb C plot about Mini-Connor wanting to date a girl, but fretting that he is too short. They meet in the hallway when Mini-Connor has to wait to get into his locker, because two people are making out along it. It looks like two dudes were kissing, but the video was blurry so I couldn't tell.

Mini-Connor shows up for their date wearing an LA Lakers jersey, I assume because he thought wearing a basketball uniform would make him appear taller to others on some sort of physiological level.

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Adam comes by Fiona's condo with Declan's cleaned clothes. The sight turns Fiona on and she welcomes Adam in. "I ordered enough dinner for two," she says. She only did that because she always eats two dinners. You can handle more liquor on a full belly.

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Anya gets JD to take her on a date at Applebees Canada, where Holly J is a waitress. Anya lies and tells him she is 20½ while JD says he is 25. "You must think I'm old," JD says. I wish this dumb show would stop referring to 25 as old. When I'm 50, these Degrassi kids will be 42 and then fuck them.

Dr. Dorian says he never had a girlfriend in high school, so he became a doctor because doctors on TV always got girls, like George Clooney on ER. "George Clooney was on TV?," asks Anya. "When?"

The date goes well. They kiss while Holly J watches, but then Anya panics when Dr. Dorian offers to drop her off at her dorm. Why would he automatically assume she lives in a dorm? Why can't Anya say she lives with her mom? Who cares about these questions?

Degrassi 1033

Fiona is drinking and tells Adam that when she was in France, everyone drank wine. "It's, like, the law," she says. I'm sure the middle-aged French guy who got her drunk every night told her that. "I met this famous director, His name was Roman-something. He gave me lots of wine and said he would put me in movies. I don't remember what else happened."

After work, Holly J heads to Fiona's condo because Holly J is living with Fiona or something. Anyway, she sees Adam and Fiona making out. Holly J tells Adam to leave. I think Holly J thinks Adam is taking advantage of Fiona in her drunken state. But Holly J is too. I'm pretty sure Holly J and Fiona have only been friends since Fiona started coming to school drunk every day. Before she started drinking, Fiona hated Holly J. As soon as Fiona sobers up, she is going to be so confused. "What...what am I doing at Degrassi? Aren't I supposed to be in New York?"

Part [1 - 2]
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