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Degrassi: "Hide and Seek" part 1

Season 10 Episodes 39 & 40
Canadian airdate: March 18 & 25, 2011

Boycott the Caf name: "Holly J pees her pants"
Important characters: Holly J, Wesley, Alli
Issue of the Week: Duel issues: Running away; being sick.

Part [1 - 2]

Holly J fell asleep at a computer. A group of other main characters who won't do anything else this week are standing around asking if she is okay. Apparently this is the one high school in the world where students don't sleep during class all the time, or maybe they're afraid Fiona got her drunk.

In her next class Holly J has fallen asleep again. She must have been up all night watching Hellcats or listening to the Justin Beiber, or whatever it is teenage girls do these days.

We find out that Holly J and Chante have a work study with Councilor Greyson. That is a super villain name if I've ever heard one. The teacher says that Chante is doing well but Councilor Greyson thinks Holly J is distracted and unfocused. Falling asleep in class, failing to impress government officials, these are not the normal actions of a teenage girl

In the Bandari household they are all doing what is pretty much expected of them, watching the video footage of Alli getting into the car and worrying about her. Then Sav gets yelled at for worrying too much and the mom has to go do laundry.

In an attempt to piss off the grounds keepers one of the teachers has every 7th grade class bury a time capsule containing letters to themselves that they dig up if he remembers where it was buried.

Wesley gets his letter and is dismayed that he hasn't done anything his 7th grade self wanted to do. In 7th grade his goals were to

1. Get a hot lady

2. Drive a car

3. Break a world record.

Well he isn't old enough to drive so that means number 2 is no good, and number 1 is completely out of the question, so it looks like he will have to break a world record.

Unable to think of a record to break Wesley goes to talk to that one teacher who looks way too closely like him for it to be an accident. He considers breaking the hot dog eating contest but the teacher points out that he can't handle more then two wieners, that's why he is only friends with Connor and Dave, HEY-OH!

Ultimately Wesley settles on a record but the audience is not made privy to what it is. Wesley tells Kel to get some surgical tape, rubber housing, crash mats, I.V. and to meet him at the zoo…

Aaaah here we go!

Sav visits the prestigious Toronto University to check in with Johnny Dimarco, and see if he has heard from Alli. Johnny is attending the school on a scholarship for dreamy bad boys. Johnny says Alli isn't there and Sav leaves, but then Alli is there! Oh man, Johnny, you're trickery has only gotten stronger in your absence.

Also, I guess that ends the Alli mystery. Another show probably would have drawn it out; clues would be sprinkled out sparingly, Sav shows up at the last minute only to find out Alli has moved on. He thinks he found out her destination only for it to be a red herring. Then, finally, after a season's worth of build up, Sav finally closes in on her and the mystery of her whereabouts is revealed, and we finally get the whole story.

But this is Degrassi: big potential, no payoff. That is their rallying call.

Anyways, Johnny is pissed. He was under the impression Alli got kicked out, not that she was a runaway. Alli explains that her parents don't really want her home because after she got in a fight with Bianca they were able to take a look at her permanent record and find out she had sex. Wow, when they say everything goes on your permanent record they aren't kidding.

Holly J doesn't feel like she is being properly utilized by Councilor Greyson. She is being forced to sit and lick envelopes which is obviously below the normal responsibly of an unpaid high school intern. Holly J tries to propose a way to use social media to mobilize the youth vote, but Greyson blows her off. I bet Grayson is a conservative politician who wins elections because young people don't vote. Her entire campaign is focused on making senior citizens scared of young people. Instead of making a Myspace page, Holly J is recruited to run a charity 10K.

Alli checks her Facerange. There is a picture of a missing poster of her. How about Pedro A's comment? Sarah was a little inappropriate but she has boobs so nobody will care. Pedro A is just cold. Alli got arrested for saying shit like that. I hope Pedro A becomes a character. He would be sarcastic and have no friends.

Alli sees an ad on Facerange and decides to take a bus to Vancouver. I've always wondered who was dumb enough to pay attention to banner ads. Turns out it is Alli. It's okay though she has it all planned out, she will move to Vancouver and get a job or something. Lots of places hire underage runaways who don't have references or a social security card.

The place Holly J works at is called Little Miss Steaks. If Jenna's baby is a girl she should steal that name.

While at Little Miss Steaks, Holly J almost faints. Either she is suffering from a serious ailment that will dominate the rest of her Degrassi tenure or she has the flu.

At school the next day we get to see Holly J's evaluation. In all regards she was marked as being either average or good. Why was that teacher riding her ass? That's not bad at all. I'm sorry that the Councilor doesn't think that everything the high schooler who she probably barely pays attention to didn't score all excellents.

Holly thinks she has strep. I bet that is what it is. No twist coming up, just strep. Or Chlamydia.

Wesley is going to get the record for most pogo stick jumps in 24 hours.

The Comedy Central show Halfway Home had an episode where a character decides to follow her childhood dream of the record for most pogo stick jumps in 24 hours. I don't know what to think here; on the one hand I doubt many people saw Halfway Home, but on the other hand what are the chances of two separate people decided that a character should follow a child hood dream to break the record for pogo stick jumping? It just seems like a very abstract concept.

Mini-Connor does not approve of pogo sticking for records because it won't help Wesley get chicks. Mini-Connor doesn't realize that the only thing more pathetic the pogo sticking for a world records is disapproving of pogo sticking for a world record based on how it won't help the person get laid. Not everything is about getting dates, Mini-Connor. There is a little thing called honor.

At one point, Wesley considers quitting since he can't break the world record after about n hour of practice, but then Mini-Connor, after realizing he needs to support his friend, appears on TV inviting people to come watch Wesley break the record. Oh my, it looks like the world's most retarded problem just got slightly more retarded.

Over at the university, Johnny has hired an Asian to show Alli how awesome college is. Under the guise of getting Alli a disguise and fake ID she will also show Alli the wonders of college. Alli will see the cafeteria where a 5,000 dollar meal plan gets you access to all the powdered eggs you could want, unless you want to eat after 7pm, the library where nearly 60 new books have been purchased this decade alone, and the campus health center where you get free discontinued condoms. Truly college is worth suffering emotional abuse for.

Oddly enough, getting Alli everything she needs to leave Toronto does not convince her to stay in Toronto. Not even the popcorn machine in the lobby can keep her from wanting to go to her Santa Fe.

Johnny gives Alli a speech about how if he can stand next to a guy who stabbed somebody everybody loved and then go to the stabbed guy's school then Alli can live with parents who think she is troubled. Holy shit! This is the first time Degrassi ever acknowledged that Johnny was there when JT got murdered, although I would think saying everybody loved JT was a bit much. Johnny probably just saw the memorial and assumed more than one grade knew who JT was. Accurate or not, the guilt trip convinces Alli to not go to Vancouver for at least one more night. I bet Johnny's roommate really appreciates this.

Unfortunately, Asian girl walks into Johnny's room so Alli assumes it is his girlfriend for some reason and not just an Asian girl he knows and storms off to the bus station.

At the fun run Chante has used her super gossip powers to know Holly J and Sav are sexually active and proposes that Holly J is pregnant. Because symptoms of pregnancy include sore throat and fever. Holly J tells Chante she is wrong and then goes to throw up. She also has little poop stains on her pants. Look at them.

Later, Holly J tells Chante that she has gotten her period, so she can't be pregnant. I assumed all her problems were caused by her period. I suppose we will fine out what is wrong with her in part 2, as well as the stupid conclusions to the other stories.

Part [1 - 2]

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