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Degrassi: "Hide and Seek" part 2

Part [1 - 2]

Johnny is on the phone trying to convince Alli to not run away to Vancouver because, if she does, the best case scenario for her still involves prostitution. Alli counters that if she was able to sleep on a park bench last night and not get raped then she can survive on her own. This seems to be around where Johnny realizes he has never actually liked Alli all that much and decides to leave her to her own devices. Being the street smart young lady she is, Alli immediately gets her backpack stolen by a homeless person.

Holly J enters her symptoms into Web MD Canada, which is like American Web MD but takes longer to load. Sore throat, fever and fatigue results in a million different possibilities because that is every disease. Then she adds memory loss, because apparently she has memory loss. I don't remember that from the previous episode.

Then Sav comes by and Holly J uses her illness as an excuse to not kiss him. Looks like things are going her way for once.

Elsewhere in the school, Wesley ponders if he should oil his bearings. He's talking about pogo stick maintenance, not masturbation, I think. Wesley is having second thoughts but the event has gotten out of hand. Over a thousand people on Facebook have said they will be attending, so that means like twenty will actually be there. I'm guessing they just want to get out of class since Wesley appears to be attempting to break the record while school is still in session.

Holly J is lucky she lives in Canada. In America, having medication in school has gotten to the point where its almost a capital offense. You have to keep asthma inhalers in the office under lock and key even though that shit don't even get you high. If a student had cough syrup the SWAT team would probably be called in. Watch out! She has one of 50 ingredients she needs to make Meth! She must have a fake ID to even buy that!

Fun story, once during college, my parents came to visit me and I happened to have a cold. Well we went to Walmart and my mom decided to buy me some basic cold medicine, and pick some up for herself because our hometown didn't have a Walmart and the drug store charged three times as much for anything. As it turns out, Walmart's policy said we couldn't buy two packages of cold medicine because we could use it for nefarious purposes. My mom tried yelling at the cashier for awhile, which didn't work but then inspiration hit. My dad took one of the packages and went to the next register. Oh boy, their was nothing those Washington fat cats could do, we pulled the ultimate fast one. Walmart better know better than to mess with Johnny Dangerous and his crafty parents.

But enough about my crazzzzzy family. While giving a presentation on Twitter, Holly J collapses and because that isn't intense enough she also bangs her head on the way down. Now that's what I call a splitting headache.

During a five minute break (by the way what sort of world record lets you take breaks?), some random intelligent red headed woman (Hermione?) gives Wesley some advice for his pogoing: wipe off the grease, shorten the pistons. If he were to mess up Wesley would be unable to recover but the shorter jumps means more jumps.

With her bus ticket and underpants stolen, Alli returns to Johnny. Sav is waiting for in the room. I guess Johnny called Sav and they agreed there was no way Alli could board a bus without help, so they just waited for her to come back. Sav won't force Alli to go home but says he will have her back if she chooses to do so. This means hiding the acid.

Holly J wakes up in the hospital where Dr. Asshole lectures her on the dangers of self medication. Yeah, maybe if Holly J was using somebody's prescription drugs this message would make sense, but she was taking over the counter cold medicine. You are suppose to self medicate with that. Its not like she was popping Zanax and washing it down with 4 Loko.

Holly J sneaks out of the hospital because missing a presentation due to being in the hospital makes a bad impression among politicians.

Chante was in class when Holly J collapsed, yet she finds nothing wrong with Holly J being around later that day at the Greyson HQ. If anything, Holly J should still be waiting in the emergency room. I guess Canadian health care is quicker than they say. Holly J is lucky this isn't Obamacare, where a group of seven druids in black robes would have had to determine if she was allowed to live or die before she is even allowed to see a doctor. That takes forever I tell you what.

After five hours, Wesley tries waving to Hermione. This is the first time a girl has been around him long enough for him to work up the courage to wave to her. Unfortunately, taking his hand off his stick causes him to go for a spill. People thought it was unnecessary to wear a helmet and pads while pogo sticking, and they are still right. Unless you are above a pit of fire falling off, a pogo stick will not hurt a normal elementary school child.

During the presentation, Holly J pees herself. I had some trouble getting a decent shot due to the camera angles so please enjoy this artist's rendering

As you can see, Holly J peed a lot. There also appears to be a turd on the floor behind her. While it is not certain it can be assumed Holly J also pooped while she was peeing.

Holly J rushes out, but it seems that her bold strategy made an impact on the councilor. As she was leaving, Greyson gave Holly a thumbs up and says, "You're in."

Outside, Holly J calls her mom for a ride to the hospital. How about how the school didn't contact her parents when she went to the hospital earlier? I guess Canada doesn't have emergency contact forms.

Sav comes home and tells his parents that Alli is safe. Then his dad yells at him for not forcing her to come home. All that testosterone that was never released during puberty finally let's loose and Sav mans up enough to stand up to his father, telling him that the reason Alli is gone is because his anger overpowers everything else and, unlike in Turkmenistan, he can't bind her feet so she wouldn't just run away again even if she did come home.

Laterm Alli comes home during dinner. They just had to make a meal she likes.

Alli tells her parents that she now knows that she can thrive at university but realizes she needs to survive two more years in her house before going there. Her dad says that they have been fighting so much that they have lost touch with each other and what they need is a blank slate. He also yells at her, but only a little.

They all agree to go to counseling.

Wesley has his arms wrapped up because he sprained his wrists. Not falling off the pogo sticků from other things. He is bummed that he let his 11-year-old self down. I could almost get behind the idea that Wesley wants to break a world record, but not if the reasoning is so god damn retarded. 11-year-olds are idiots, who cares if you let one down especially if it's yourself and you aren't 11 anymore?

On the plus side, Wesley impressed Hermione so he got a girl.

Holly J has strep throat. That is why she peed herself. Or maybe she peed herself from drinking too many energy drinks.

"Symptoms have to be treated immediately to prevent complications like this," Dr. Asshole says. Hey, Degrassi just turned into a filmstrip for health class. I'm surprised he doesn't look directly into the camera and says "I'm sure you boys and girls don't want to end up like Holly J."

The doc says Holly J needs dialysis and there is no way to know how long that will take. The episode ends with the camera slowly closing in on Holly J as she says "I'm really sick?"

Oh wait, that isn't how the episode ends. Why isn't that how the episode ends? How can an episode end on a better note then a main character finally coming to grips that she may be seriously ill? Is this going to be like Rescue Me where the show constantly one ups itself in dramatic content? Is Eli going to run into a burning building, get shot, and then raped by Adam? Nah, that kind of stuff happens to Dennis Leary, Eli is too much of a wuss to be Dennis Leary.

Instead, Alli's family is going to take a family photo to represent their new beginning. I suppose they wanted to end the episode on an upbeat note. Alright, I can dig it. This was a pretty important little arc, so it should get the closing wrap around. Now the episode is over.

No wait, now we're back at the hospital. Councilor Greyson is telling Holly J that if she is willing to gravely jeopardize her health than Greyson has a summer job for her. Then Sav comes by and says that she will get better. Finally the episode ends. I guess the conclusion got tired of playing hide and seek.

Final Grade: C
You know, I tried to like this episode. I really did.

Who Should Have Peed Their Pants: Wesley
I would have been funny if he lost the record because he peed himself and then fell over.

Part [1 - 2]

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