Degrassi: "Drop the World" part 2
Eli confronts Clare at school. He is apologetic about pressuring her but points out that it is wrong for her to think he isn't over his dead girlfriend. The fact that he shot a picture of her in the last episode will not be brought up by him for obvious reasons. We've all been there, you have a picture of an ex or a girl you asked out who laughed at you and called you frilly pants and a gun and things happen.
Clare doesn't think that Eli is over his dead girlfriend, and also he is weird and stalkerish. Eli is confused because he is trying to be just like Edward so he doesn't know why Clare isn't on him like pale on Conan O'Brien.
Now what happens next is the most retarded thing in the world. Eli agrees to give Clare space. He then opens the door of his car to get his book bag. His gun is sitting in the car in plain site, he notices this and quickly throws a blanket over it, but not before Clare sees the gun. Clare sees the gun and makes the logical conclusion "Distraught creepy guy + gun brought to school = Rick 2: The Quickening." Clare hugs Eli and asks him to walk her to her locker. Eli gets a shit eating grin on his face and asks what happened to her needing space.
So, Eli knows the gun is there and should know Clare saw it, but apparently doesn't think she saw it because he doesn't say, "I went hunting with my dad" which wouldn't even be a lie because he did go turkey hunting with his dad in the last episode. It's a family tradition to kill a turkey on his dad's birthday. I didn't describe the scene because it was dumb. Instead Eli thinks Clare just suddenly changed her mind about needing space for no reason and didn't see the gun right in front of her face.
Eli needs to get kicked in the head. He is now officially dumber than Jenna.
Fiona is in love with Holly J, Anya figures this out because she has physic powers or something. Anya is sensitive to situation and makes fun of Fiona for having emotions. Holly J walks in and asks what they are talking about and Anya says they are discussing her dry feet. Holly J then asks the two of them to go to the spring formal with her. I like where this is going. They better rent a limo. A limo where they can put up a partition and get some privacy.
In class, Adam asks Eli why he isn't sitting next to Clare. Because there aren't any empty seats over there you silly billy.
Eli gets called out of school because, you know, he has a rifle in his car. Forgetting about the gun in your car after you go shooting is bad, but being all creepy and driving a hearse doesn't help at all.
Eli's dad gets him out of school and asks "What were you thinking?" Eli broke the one rule of the household, no bringing guns to school. Eli explains that he was using the gun to shoot a picture of his ex.
His dad's response is amazing. "Eli!" he exclaims, "It won't make her deader!"
Well it sure as hell won't bring her back either, Eli's dad.
"Shooting is no way to deal with anything ever," Eli's dad says. The zombie apocalypse exception of course needs no mention.
Eli's punishment is that there is no spring break road trip with him and Clare. Kind of a moot point now, but at least his dad is trying.
Dad tells Eli that Clare called him directly, so Eli is lucky that he isn't expelled. Eli seems shocked, but no shit she would turn him in. He has a gun and wrote a story about murdering his girlfriend.
Holly J explains her plans to Anya. The three of them will to go dress shopping and then have a post dance sleepover. This just keeps getting closer and closer to being a porno.
Anya thinks post-dance naked sleepovers in the lotion room may not be a good idea. She lets it slip that Fiona has the hots for Holly J. Holly J looks back at her relationship with Fiona and realizes that this could very well be plausible. Now Holly J knows but must keep Fiona's love for her a secret less Fiona realize Anya has let the cat out of the bag. I smell TGIF level shenanigans on the horizon.
Mini-Connor and some other bros show up to give KC the best bachelor party you can have with no strippers, booze, money, or transportation! KC says he can't because he promised to meet Jenna at the dance, but Mini-Connor claims that Jenna told them to throw him a party and it would be cool as long as he shows up at the end of the dance. This sounds stupid and suspicious, but Jenna is really stupid and would do something like this. Possibly as a test of some sort.
Mini-Connor, Bianca, Drew, and the extras show up for the bachelor party. They all agree the party is lame, even Mini-Connor and he is the one who organized it. As a joke KC is given a pair of handcuffs. He then handcuffs himself to Bianca as a joke but uh-oh, the handcuffs don't have a key. Because it is possible to buy handcuffs without keys. The TGIF level shenanigans are going off the charts! I expected these types of shenanigans on the "person pretends they don't know somebody else loves them" story but this one is delivering as well. The only way theses shenanigans could get more zany is if Jenna went into labor!
Holly J thinks Fiona only loves her because she doesn't know any lesbians so she introduces her to the president of the school's lesbian club. The school has a club just for lesbians and Fiona doesn't know any of them? That's just lazy. What kind of lesbian is she?
So after an awkward exchange, dance, and I assume boob fondling Fiona returns to where Holly J is and is like "What up?" Holly J reveals that the reason she is introducing Fiona to random lesbians and then running away is because she knows about Fiona's attraction to her. Fiona is hurt and betrayed and feels as if she has lost her best friend. The one thing she feared so much that she didn't want to tell Holly J about her feelings. Thanks a lot, Anya. You've ruined another friendship.
Meanwhile at the dance, Jenna wonders where KC is. "I bet he isn't handcuffed to Bianca, that would be bizarre and unlikely," she says to Chante. Then she notices her feet are wet. After determining it is not urine, the only logical choice is that her water has broken.
Chante uses the universal black people communication line to get a hold of Mini-Connor. The news that a baby ism at that very moment, popping its way out of Jenna's butt is told. KC has to get to the hospital, on the double. The characters with names all go, leaving the extras to mill about and steal KC's mom's gin.
A high school dance is going on and Eli is waiting alone on a bench for a girl he likes to show up. Reminds me of college. He told Clare to meet him out there after explaining that the gun is for hunting, not murdering her so he can masturbate on the corpse. Clare doesn't believe him because she never said anything about thinking he would masturbate on her corpse, so why would he bring it up unless that was his plan all along?
When Clare no shows Eli throws a sissy fit and kicks some flowers. Then he drives off. Eli commits that fatal danger of the roads, talking on a cell phone. He calls Clare and is whiney and doychey complaining that Clare saying they are growing apart is "melodramatic" although apparently kicking flowers and crying is okay. Seriously, he kicked some flowers. The flower vendors will come in the next morning and be confused as to why his flowers have been kicked. He will say to his partner "Who would kick our flowers?"
Eli takes Clare's admission that she hates his hearse as instructions to crash his hearse. Eli, you are creepy, for real. That is like, really creepy, yet isn't even the creepiest thing you've done this episode. Purposely crashing your car is rarely the best way to convince a girl you aren't creepy and she should take you back.
Fiona and Holly J settle their sexy conflict. Kind of pales in drama after a dude just killed himself by driving a hearse into traffic.
Eli has a broken neck and leg but is happy to see Clare because he thinks that now that the hearse has been destroyed they can remain a couple. That boy ain't quite right. Clare realizes that the Eli train is on the tracks to Crazy Town so she bails on the ride.
The drama of Jenna's birth is skipped and she is just shown with her baby, still strapped to the gurney. I guess she had it in the ambulance, or she stole somebody else's baby right out of their arms. Also KC being handcuffed to Bianca is not brought up. Oh good, I'm glad we wasted all that time on that plot.
Intensity Level: 110%
There are several cliché ways sitcoms may end a season. Somebody giving birth, a character getting injured, or a relationship ending, they are all different hooks to get people to want to tune in next season to see how things change. Typically however most sitcoms try one at a time. Not Degrassi, they said, "We're taking every cliché and throwing it in here no matter how little time there is for each plot to resolve. Also lesbians."
Final Grade: D
For two episodes involving guns, car crashes, lesbian love, baby birth, and handcuffed twister they somehow managed to make it incredibly boring
That's it for season ten. We are all looking forward to season eleven which begins in like two weeks. Degrassi just sort of happens constantly now. What can we look forward to next season? Will Chante somehow manage to remain in high school for her seventh year? Will all the seniors not graduate again? Only time will tell.
Part [1 - 2]