The Web BtC

Toby Isaacs

Seasons featured: 1-8

Nickname: JT's nerdy butt buddy

Gimmick: So lame and pathetic that it makes you feel better about yourself

Defining Traits: Computer geek, anime fan, virgin

Greatest Moment: In order to win a kissing contest he made a fake charity kissing booth to raise money for sick kittens. No only did he kiss a bunch of girls but he also pocketed all that money

If He Were an Animal: Red Panda

Toby is an alright guy. Really. He's smart, kind, and I think if I were transported into Degrassi world me and him would get along. That said, Toby will never ever have sex. He is like Urkel without the appeal to children and idiots. Urkel was a nerd who knocked things over and dressed funny. Toby is a nerd who spends all day on his computer and is awkward around girls. That is why Urkel has a cereal and Toby has 50 different accounts on Gamefaqs.

Toby is the nerdiest person there could possibly be. At the same time he doesn't seem like the cliché nerd. When a nerd is portrayed on TV usually they are typically just like the nerds from Revenge of the Nerds. Toby is able to be different enough from that stereotype that he seems like a real person, not just a cliché. Still he is nerd 100%. Pretty much every storyline he was involved in until the fourth season was about him being lonely. Toby perused Emma and failed. He dated Kendra but she broke up with him once she realized that a girl who likes anime can date guys who don't like Anime and make them watch anime with her. He tried numerous times to see naked woman with JT.with little success.

Toby is allowed to have one friend at a time. Usually its JT. For awhile Toby was friends with Rick so JT stopped hanging out with him. After JT died Toby was friends with Liberty for a few episodes. Talk about having it rough. First your friend dies and then you have to hang out with Liberty. What's next, disappearing for a few years before turning up at a robot competition? That's what happened for Toby. He runs robot competitions now for some reason. I have to say if they are going to have old characters make cameos for no reason I'm glad they are being awesome about it. Toby isn't going to return to Degrassi to give advice or sleep with Kevin Smith. He's too busy running robot competitions. I can't wait until Hazel returns and we find out she is a professional dirt bike racer.

The only other interesting thing I can think of to write about Toby is when he got beat up by Lakehurst hooligans. That's pretty much all that happened. Toby got beat up and cried. He also didn't file a police report after the assault. The guy who killed JT was part of that crowd. If he had called the police that guy wouldn't have been free to kill JT So in a way Toby caused JT to die.

Rating: B

I may be taking an unpopular stance here but I like Toby. I find his failures highly entertaining and wish him luck hosting robot competitions. I bet his grade would be even higher if there weren't four seasons where he was still part of the cast but only appeared once every five episodes.


JT Yorke a.k.a. James Tiburious Yorke

Seasons featured: 1-6

Nickname: Gay T

Gimmicks: Class clown, Man in the relationship with Toby

Defining Trait: He is funny and kind of cool when he's not around Toby. When he's around Toby he is annoying and gay.

Greatest Moment: Stole Spinner's pants.

If He Were an Animal: I think he kind of looks like a weasel.

Every high school has two guys who seem to be have a friendship that's a little too close. There's no positive proof but just by the way they act they have most of the student body convinced they are butt fucking. Not in a gay way, just in a "Hey we aren't going to have ever sex with women anyway" kind of way. JT and Toby are these two people.

Whenever JT can get away from Toby he goes from being "the guy you don't want to shake hands with because who knows where those hands were" to a pretty awesome dude. Remember when he attacked Dean the rapist? Or during season 1 when he crowd surfed on the cool kids? Both examples of what JT can do when Toby is not around.

Let us not forget JT's greatest accomplishment. In the episode "Never Gonna Give You Up" Spinner has decided he has had enough of JT. This was during the brief period of time JT was friends with Paige because he attacked Dean. Spinner gets JT good by making everybody in the world think JT is gay for Raditch, not a stretch since they assume he has sex with JT In retaliation JT does something that is simulations the most awesome and most confusing thing ever.

Let me set the scene. Spinner and his best gal Paige are casually strutting down the hall of Degrassi High. Of course a huge crowd of on lookers surround them. Suddenly out of the shadows darts JT He runs straight at Spinner, "What does this mortal think he can do to me?" Spinner laughs heartily. If he only knew. JT in his finest moment grabs Spinner's pants AND PULLS THEM OFF! He didn't pull them down, he pulls them off of Spinner. If you have ever worn pants then you would know that in order for pants to be removed they have to be pulled past the ankles and feet, a feat that cannot be done while one is standing both feet on the ground yet somehow JT completely removed Spinner's pants! How? No one can say for sure.

That wasn't the final battle in the war between JT and Spinner but it definitely was the most decisive. Spinner would end up calling for peace. Can you believe it? JT actually bested Spinner. JT beat Spinner! Unbelievable. Manny is so impressed that she begins dating JT. She still has sex with many many many other men and women, but she tells JT she only loves him.

Unfortunately for James Tibrurian, glory would not last long. In fact by early season four it would be revealed that he has an incredibly tiny penis, like smaller than any penis ever, including the penises of new born babies. The incident where his miniscule shame is revealed would begin a spiral that JT would never recover from.

Self conscious because of his manhood (more like prepubescent boyhood) JT buys a penis pump from Webster. Manny catches him using the penis pump and dumps him. She isn't upset that he is using a penis pump, its just that she realizes even with the mechanical aid JT is still too small to satisfy her. Word spreads about JT's condition. No girls can be in the same room as JT without laughing, so JT starts dating something that only has a little to do with girls, Liberty.

JT and Liberty date for awhile and apparently JT builds up enough of an immunity to actually have sex with her. Now that's a gross thought. After imagining what it would look like I'm pretty sure I will never have an erection again. JT wants to have sex with a king size condom but it falls off. I don't know what JT was thinking, normal size condoms fall off of him. Usually they just skipped condoms and had Liberty put her monstrous clitoris into JT's butt. But anyways JT somehow gets Liberty pregnant even though he is technically too small to fit into her vagina and Liberty is technically a different species.

Knowing JT could never be a father, he is barely a man, Liberty breaks up with him but continues to make him provide for all her needs. This proves to be expensive, Liberty eats three or four goats a day, after all. JT steals drugs from the pharmacy he works at and sells them to Jay's friend. Liberty finds out and wants even less to do with JT. You would think this would make him happy but for some reason JT takes a bunch of pills in a suicide attempt which fails because JT fails at everything.

Following the suicide attempt there is a small upwards trend for JT. Liberty's demon child is exorcized. Then JT meets Mia, a girl who got pregnant at 13. Mia is a huge whore, possibly as big a whore as Manny, and she wants to date JT Her thinking is that JT is good with kids, so that she can get him to take care of her child while she has sex with black people. Mia gets insulted by some guy from the evil Lakehurst High and JT remembering how impressed Paige was when he fought Dean goes after the punk while dressed as a tiger.

It seems like JT is making a rebound at this point. He has a hot girlfriend who is willing to overlook his short comings (emphasis on short) and he is 2-0 when it comes to mascot fights. JT tries to fight the Lakehurst crowd in a war, not unlike the war he had with Spinner but he finds it difficult to find allies. Webster and Toby join JT but that's kind of worse then being alone. Also instead of pranking each other like in the Spinner conflict the Lakehurst people beat up Toby.

JT quickly pulls out of the conflict (like he should have pulled out of Liberty's vagina) and peace is declared. The Lakehurst thugs are officially the winners although when you win by beating up Toby it isn't something to be proud of. A party is throw to celebrate the new peace but all is not what it seems. JT walks outside to find Johnny Dimarco peeing on his car. JT is upset, he is used to people peeing on his car, it happens all the time, he's just angry that Lakehurst students are violating the ceasefire. Drake Lempky, the other Lakehurst thug, really breaks the peace by stabbing JT in the back, murdering him. JT dies like he lived, in a pool of urine.

Good night sweet prince, we hardly knew ye

Rating: A

JT is nearly always in the middle of something interesting. Sure its hard to get lower than having sex with Liberty or dying while covered in urine but the man bested Spinner. You can't take that away from him. Plus even at his most pathetic, JT was at least in the middle of something interesting. So while the character was suffering crippling humiliation at least we the viewers were entertained and able to laugh at his tiny penis.