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"Mother and Child Reunion" Part 1

Season 1 Episodes 1 & 2
Canadian airdate: October 14th, 2001

Boycott the Caf name: "Emma's Internet Stalker Episode"
Important characters: Emma, Manny, JT & Toby, Adults
Issue of the Week: Internet pedophiles

This episode is part series premiere/part prequel to the show. It isn't a typical Degrassi episode because here the kids actually act like children, while the adults get way too much of the plot. The episode is meant to be the pilot for The Next Generation, whilst also being a reunion special for the cast of Degrassi High, the previous Degrassi series from the 80's. Since it doesn't have Spinner AT ALL, I do not consider this to be a true episode. Still, it's a good way to setup the series and a good way to kick off the episode reviews.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

We begin with Emma (the white one) and Manny (the feisty Latina) at Emma's computer, reading email from her online boyfriend, Jordan. Emma and Jordan haven't met yet and she and Manny discuss what he must be like. Manny gets the most lines in here that she'll have for the next two seasons. Right now she is being treated like a main character, but from here until season 3, she'll just be Emma's shadow. It isn't too bad a gig, though, considering that season 1 is basically the Emma Show because it has so much Emma. Season 2 is the Craig Show, season 3 is the Marco Show, and I have to say that season 4 so far is mainly the Sean Show featuring the Candy Bandits.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Emma's mother, "Spike" comes in, and they look at old photos from the Degrassi High show, where Spike was a main character. It's the ten year reunion for her class and Spike is really excited. Spike became pregnant in high school and Emma was the bastard child that popped out. So it's just the two of them in this family. Spike takes the girls to deliver boxes for the reunion to the school.

Emma, Manny and JT are carrying boxes into the Degrassi school. Emma tells Manny about her latest email from Jordan. It seems that Jordan got over 600 signatures on his petition to leave the polar wildlife refugee untouched. Emma is an environmentalist nut, so emails like that give her those strange stirrings down below that she is too young to understand. Too bad George W. Bush doesn't care what the people demand; he'll drill in the artic refugee if he damn well pleases. Even when it's located in Canada.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

JT can't handle his load and falls down. Ha ha, JT, you are weaker than a twelve year old girl. Four years later, we find out he has a tiny penis. I guess the producers were thinking in the long term here. JT is an inadequate male.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Flash to Joey Jeremiah, one of the Degrassi High characters. He's trying to sell a car to another Degrassi High character, a tall black woman with a cane. I don't know her name and don't care to look it up. She won't be a main character on the new show, so I'll just call her Black Woman. Black Woman asks why Joey hasn't signed up to go to the reunion yet. Joey's wife died and left him with a daughter, who I just noticed won't grow at all over the entire series. Crazy. The producers must be feeding her pills to suppress her growth. Black Woman tells him to get over the bitch's death, it's been a year white boy, and then she gives him some black sass by hitting him with her cane until he agrees to go to the reunion. Actually, that's not what happens, but it should have. Instead, they just drive to the school.

Joey may be a shitty car salesman and his dealership may be losing money, but how about that giant gorilla in the background? Sweet.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Flash back to the school. The kids are bringing boxes down the hallway. JT is carrying a Chips Ahoy box. If the reunion has as much Chips Ahoy as can fit in that box, then this is going to be the most kickass high school reunion ever. The kids meet Mr. "Snake" Simpson, another Degrassi High character, who is now a teacher at the school. The kids run off, leaving Mr. Simpson with the boxes, and look at the approximately 50,000 computers Degrassi has in its NASA sized computer lab. Man, Canadian schools are well funded. I didn't have computers that good when I was in middle school. We still used Apple II with the big ass floppy disks. It was cool because I could play Oregon Trail and the one game where you are in a ship and you do scientific tests of the ocean, but man oh man, Degrassi's computer lab is a big part of the show.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

The kids run into Toby, a friend JT made at summer camp. Toby has moved to the Degrassi area after his dad shagged up with a new lady. This is the beginning of this series' gayest neediest partnership: JT York and Toby Isaacs. Whether they are using high tech web cams to look at strippers, surfing porn on the internet, or giggling when they get their hands on a penis pump, you can bet JT & Toby will be there, making us feel like better people in comparison.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

A limo makes its way to the school. Inside is another original character, Caitlin Ryan, the star of Ryan's Planet, a hot Canadian TV show. It's probably as big as the awesome ass Red Green Show, which is Canada's Seinfeld, only thrice as funny. Caitlin is going to get married to a big shot Hollywood producer. I suppose Caitlin figures she can just sleep her way to the top.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Caitlin and Joey lock eyes. Three seasons later is when we find out they were engaged to be married, but Joey cheated on her and she broke up with him. Right now, I don't know what the hell is the problem with those two. Maybe Caitlin killed Joey's wife in a street fight and Joey is back for revenge. Caitlin made a big mistake then, coming back to town. She thought Joey was gone; she didn't see his name in the phone book, but Joey has an unlisted number. He's been waiting for this.

At least that is what I wish was going to happen. What really occurs is a lot less interesting.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Meanwhile, Emma and Manny read the lasted email from Jordan. Jordan is going to be in town tomorrow and wants to finally meet Emma face to face. Oh man!

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Flash to Emma, Manny, JT, and Toby at a playground. This is the only time Emma or Manny will be acting like they are middle school aged children. JT and Toby are eating some awesome Canadian style Otter Pops, when Emma tells them Jordan is coming to town. Toby warns her that talking to strangers on the net can lead to consequences, but Emma doesn't listen to him because Toby is a nerd, and no one gets relationship advice from a nerd for crying out loud. JT guesses that Jordan is actually a 40 year old who drools. Emma fires back that JT wets the bed. Three years later, it turns out JT does wet the bed in a way, he has wet dreams. Emma totally called that one.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

It's the evening now, and the adults Spike, Snake, Joey, Caitlin, Black Woman, and Caitlin's fiancée--a Hollywood producer who looks a bit like that asshole from Jane's Addiction--are gathered in a bar. They remise about back in the day, while the Hollywood guy acts like a jerk. Since I have never seen the original series, I have no idea what all their discussions are about. Some character named Wheels killed a kid in a car crash in the original series. I assume they are talking about Wheels from the Burger King Kids Club.

Wheels Burger King Kids Club

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Joey's crazy car salesman commercial, in which he gets naked, comes on the TV. Laughs abound the table. Anyway, Joey is jealous of Caitlin getting married. Jesus, Joey, just because your wife is dead doesn't mean that no one else is entitled to have one. Don't be a prick, you wifeless loser.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

The women come back to Spike's house stinking drunk. Emma is woken up by their inebriated loudness. She asks Caitlin for advice about Jordan and Caitlin tells Emma to go for it. She then emails Jordan and agrees to hook up.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Next Episode
That's the end of episode one, part one. Head over to Part 2: Emma meets Jordan and Showdown at the Reunion ->