TwitterfacebookTumblrMyspace
The Web BtC
Previous Episode Next Episode

"Mother and Child Reunion" Part 2

<- Go back to Part 1

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

It's the next day, and the class reunion gets underway. Terri and Ashley get brief cameos giving a tour of the brand spanking new school. Why there is a high school reunion taking place in a middle school, I don't understand. Joey and Caitlin get a chance to talk, but are accosted by a crazy blonde woman who takes Joey off, presumably to man rape him.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Emma takes her mom's absence as a chance to go visit Jordan at a hotel. She told Manny she wasn't going to visit Jordan, but Manny's mistrustful Latin heritage makes Manny suspicious. She runs to Toby's house, where he and JT are lounging about. JT puts on some crazy bottle cap glasses in an attempt to hit on her, but it doesn't work. That's how Drew Carey gets all of his tail. Toby relates a story about a girl from British Columbia who had a meeting with a person she met on the net and was found hacked up into little pieces. Toby proposes hacking into Emma's email to see where she went.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Emma arrives in the hotel lobby wearing her dolphin pants. Putting on the dolphin pants means she plans on getting biz-ay. I think Emma looks homely, but those dolphin pants are awesome. I want a pair. She meets a man in the lobby who introduces himself as Mr. Nicestrum and claims to be Jordan's teacher. He looks like Nick Lachey, the guy who is married to Jessica Simpson. If you don't know who either of those people are then you're a happier person than I.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Emma gets suspicious around the time she doesn't see anyone else in the hotel room. Good job Emma, it was trap, and you're about to get raped up the butt. Emma thinks fast and locks herself in the bathroom because the lock on the room door confused her.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Back at the reunion, Caitlin gives speech in front of everyone. Joey found out Jane's Addiction guy is going to break up with her, probably after they get married, and the two guys get into fight right there.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Joey and Caitlin then talk in the girls bathroom (it is doubtful Joey would be allowed in a men's bathroom). They patch up the wounds of the past. Caitlin regrets having given Emma relationship advice because she is so bad with relationships herself. Good fucking deduction Professor Ryan, now Emma is going to be hacked into little bits and it's all your fault. And also Emma's fault because she was a dumb fuck. Who the hell really tries to meet a guy from the internet?

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Toby manages to get into Emma's email account. They find that "Jordan" had also hacked into Emma's email to find out what interests her. Toby notices that the day after Manny sent Emma an email about the movie Chicken Run, Jordan sent her an email about Chicken Run. I like that Nick Lachey was able to win Emma's trust by mentioning Chicken Run. The kids discover which hotel Emma is at and run straight to school to inform Spike.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

The next shot is of Spike and Snake running to his Jeep. Spike is on her cell phone calling the police. I notice she neglected to tell the police where Emma is being held.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Nick Lachey got Emma out of the bathroom and begins caressing her young virgin flesh. He also set up a video camera because he wants to have evidence.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Spike and Snake arrive at the hotel room and bang on the door. Emma hears them, bites Nick Lachey and runs out the door. Snake, in the most only badass move he'll ever do, nails Nick Lachey up against the wall and threatens to break his neck.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

The police rush in. They are a bit late. Since Spike didn't bother to giver them the location in her phone call, they must have had to search every address in town one by one.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

In the conclusion at Spike and Emma's house, a man is taking their computer, telling Spike it will be needed for evidence at the trial. He doesn't appear to be a cop, so he could just as easily be some random Asian guy stealing their computer.

Emma and her mom have a heart to heart about being able to talk to one another. The show ends with a squishy faced mother and child reunion.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode one

Rating: D+
We learn a valuable lesson about talking to strangers online. Degrassi: The Next Generation is supposed to have high tech lessons like this because they want to update the series to showcase the problems of the 21st century. They end up abandoning this idea, by oh, the next episode, and I am pretty sure they are just recycling most of their ideas from the 80's show.

Emma almost got raped, which she really had coming. However, her merry band of friends saved her so I have to deduct points for that. Oh well, Paige will get her just desserts in a year or two...just have to wait. There was also too much attention paid to the adults, which will always kill a Next Generation episode.

The biggest problem is that we have an entire hour and no Spinner what so ever. Jesus Fucking Christ. How to they expect me to get a hard on watching this if I don't get to see any Spinner?

Intensity Level: 93% Intense
Attempted child rape, fight at the reunion (must be all the Chips Ahoy in everybody's system), race against time (hack the computer before Emma is hacked to bits).

What The N didn't want you to see (banned in America!):

  • The N censors a poster in the bathroom, while Caitlin and Joey are talking, that reads 'The Pill is Not Enough...."
  • The N edits Nick Lachey touching and kissing Emma. 
  • The N cuts Caitlin saying, "He's not always such an ass." in the bathroom scene when she's cleaning up Joey. It comes right before she says, "And when it does last longer than a few months..."
  • "Mother and Child Reunion" Drinking Game:
    Take one shot whenever you see someone wearing that damn fedora which makes it way onto the head of every single cast member. That's it. Don't worry, you'll be hammered 20 minutes into this episode.

    Degrassi The Next Generation episode one
    Previous Episode Next Episode