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This episode is part of the Sour 16 set of reviews.
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"Eye of the Beholder"

Season 1 Episode 4
Canadian airdate: November 11th, 2001

Boycott the Caf name: "Terri Gets Drunk and JT & Toby Look at Porn"
Important characters: Terri, Paige, JT & Toby
Issue of the Week: Obesity, youthful drinking

"Boobage here we come!" - James Tiberius Yorke1

Degrassi The Next Generation episode four

We begin at Terri's house. It's the morning before the school dance and Terri's dad can't stop talking about how the boys are going to be all over Terri, feeling her up and wanting to get into her pants. Terri's dad is creepy. Terri doesn't want to go to the dance because she is fat and the dance will have signs saying "No Fat Chicks" for fire safety reason, of course.

Terri's dad enjoys sexualizing his daughter as much as he enjoys Sunny Delight. Man, that's part of Terri's problem right there. Sunny D is loaded with sugar and only about 5% actual juice. That's not even juice then. It's the least healthy orange drink you can get before you move on to Slice and Fanta. That's why it tastes so sweet and little kids are always picking it over grape juice in that fucking commercial. God damn it, Terri's dad, put away the fatty shit and get the bitch some Tropicana.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode four

Spinner begins the day by picking on a little kid. Yeah, Spinner totally showed that small child who is boss. Spinner's gang of followers was amused.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode four

Spinner approaches Terri to borrow her geography notes and asks her if she is going to the dance.

Paige then comes up to Spinner2 and asks if he will be at the dance. Paige is crushing on Spinner, but Spinner pretends to show no interest. This only makes Paige want Spinner more. Spinner knows how to keep the bitches on the leash.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode four

Who's that cool motherfucker on the motorcycle? It's Tracker with his little brother, Sean. This is Sean's debut on the show, four episodes later than it should have occurred. Sean is a troubled youth who was forced to flee his home and come to Degrassi because he got into a fight in which he deafened one kid and killed another, but we don't know that yet. We do learn he was held back a year and I think that has to do with other schools in Canada not being as advanced as Degrassi. By Degrassi's standards, he's only at a 5th grade level in Media Immersion.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode four

Let's all notice Manny's moustache.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode four

Jimmy is dribbling a basketball, when a bigger, blacker dude steals his ball. That guy is blacker than Jimmy, so Jimmy has to give up his basektball. Life is rough in the black community.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode four

It's dance time! Emma's mom drops her off at the dance and warns her not to walk home alone. This causes some older girls to laugh at Emma, her mommy all overprotecting her baby. Too bad that's the same advice they tell freshmen girls at college. There is a big group lecture 3. It's good advice for any female. Those girls may be laughing at Emma now, but they won't when some homeless guy is raping them in an alleyway under the moonlight. But I'll be laughing.

Emma is alone at the dance because Manny couldn't get permission to attend 4, JT and Toby decided to stay home to look at porn and there is no way she'll spend her time with Liberty. She's just walking around when she passes by Spinner and Jimmy. Spinner points to Emma and says "It's old miss big mouth. And look, she's got a heart on!" Man, Spinner needs his own late night talk show.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode four Degrassi The Next Generation episode four

Ashley and Paige are giving Terri a makeover so she'll feel pretty at the dance. I'm not going to make a reference to shows like Extreme Makover, The Swan, or Extreme Makover: Home Edition, because that would be cheap. Ashley knows that Terri has a crush on Spinner and says Terri gave her secret way because her eye twitches when she lies. Terri's eye probably twitches because she has a clogged artery in her head.

Paige doesn't want Terri competing with her for Spinner's affection so she does what any good friend would do and gets Terri really drunk on wine. That's our Paige, evil as always. Terri is really smashed when Paige helps get her to the school. It's crazy because Terri is carrying that mostly empty bottle of wine to the school. No, that's not good. At least put it in a Gatorade bottle like normal kids. Then Terri throws the bottle and it smashes on the ground right outside the school. Kids show up to dances drunk all the time, that's nothing unusual, but they at least have enough sense to not bring an obvious wine bottle to the dance and smash it on the school sidewalk when the principal is right there. The only reason Raditch doesn't do anything is because he is drunk as well.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode four

Terri stumbles around and acts all drunk. She and Spinner dance, but Terri does less dancing and more hanging on to Spinner for support. Then she moves around all drunk dancing, which is the best dancing white people do. Terri says this is her favorite spot (edging out the cafeteria). This is true because every woman's favorite spot is draped over Spinner.

I think Spinner only liked Terri because Spinner is kind of chubby right now, and he might be one of those overweight kids who thinks he is only good enough to be with other overweight kids. He doesn't know the hottest girl in school wants his dick between her boobs.

 Degrassi The Next Generation episode four

Emma stays by the snack table, eating chips and not talking to anyone. Boy, that brings back memories for me. She sees Sean and asks him to dance, so they do. She asks him to dance while he is holding Jimmy against the wall.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode four Degrassi The Next Generation episode four

Meanwhile, JT and Toby have skipped the dance. Instead, they are spending the night home alone to look at porn on the internet. Nerds! Man, you can always count on JT and Toby to be the only kids on Degrassi that actually act as normal, real life kids would. Not many middle and high school students have experience with modeling agencies or abortions. They can't relate to leaving school to begin a musical career, but they can relate to staying home to look at porn.

All is going well for our perverted pair until Toby's parents catch them. Man, that's bad. JT and Toby should have said that porn was just a pop up ad. It's not like porn pop up ads weren't uncommon back then, especially if you were looking for Nintendo roms. I remember many a day I would be looking for a rom of Excite Bike only to be redirected to a gigantic titty site. The thing is, I was most more interested in playing Excite Bike than looking at naked women, so this just irritated the hell out of me.

They next day, JT and Toby tell their story to Emma and Manny for some reason. They explain that Toby's parents punished them by surfing porn with the boys, all one big happy family. The parents even made the boys look at man porn to teach them a lesson about objectifying women.5 Emma and Manny call the boys losers, which is a redudent as calling a banana yellow.

Watching porn with your kid and a kid that doesn't even belong to you...man...that is...that is just...horrible. I don't even want to try and make a joke about this and I've laughed at rape. But at least Degrassi portrayed rape negatively. I don't even get how looking at porn with kids is in any way an effective punishment. It's not going to make the boys not want to look at naked women, that's kind of permantly ingrained from age 13 onward. If anything, it's just going to mentally fuck up the kids later in life when it comes to sex. And following JT and Toby over the next few years, we'll see that this is true. These are the moments they will tell their therapist about in between running an antique shop together.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode four Degrassi The Next Generation episode four

Back at the dance, the wine is coming back up so Terri hauls ass6 to the bathroom. With Terri humiliated, Paige moves in and dances with Spinner. Spinner can't look away from all the belly she is exposing, so he is hooked on Paige. The next day, Spinner takes Paige's geography notes instead of Terri's. You know what that means!7

Rating: C
This episode is average, as about 50% of the episodes are for some reason. But it had it's rocking moments. The boys and their porn was funny for awhile, especially JT's many quips. Paige getting Terri liquored up is another Degrassi instant classic. Too bad this episode had to have Terri in it to be about Terri, that brings the score down.

One thing I didn't like is that Degrassi has this thing about guys on the show being attracted to unattractive girls. This season we have Spinner liking Terri and next season, Spinner and Jimmy think Ellie is cute. No, in the real world no guy would be into Terri or Goth Ellie. The guys would constantly be making suggestive comments to Paige and Ashley. They'd only talk to Terri if they needed help unloading a van.

Intensity Level: 81% Intense
Terri drunk is hella intense. Can you even imagine how much wine it takes to get that much body fat intoxicated? If I had as much wine as Terri must have ingested, I'd wake up three days later behind a gas station in Belgrade wearing a NASCAR uniform and finding orange pubic hairs in my mouth and ear. Man, St. Patrick's Day 2004 was fun times.

Final Thoughts:
Johnny and I had a disagreement about how to interpret this episode. I saw it this way. The show is trying to make Paige a villain of sorts this season, but I don't buy it. Paige needed to get Terri drunk because Spinner needed to realize he could be with hot girls like Paige and didn't need to compromise with fatties. This is before Spinner got his first erection, so he doesn't know who potent he is to girls.

Johnny saw it another way. Spinner was playing hard to get with Paige. He wanted to make her work for it, so he ignored her and pretended to like Terri to make Paige jealous and put some effort into getting in his arms. Either way you look at it, though, you have to agree that is still means that Spinner is awesome. This is the conclusion you have to reach from interpreting all works of art, including Shakespeare. That's how I am going to approach my senior thesis.

Porn is bad because Degrassi said so. That's why you are on this website instead of a site that makes you tingle where you pee. Unless this site makes you tingle down there. Or that could be the clap.


Footnotes
  1. Spoken at an address to the Canadian Parliament upon an official state visit by Queen Elizabeth II. November 5, 2001. [return]
  2. Everyone comes up to Spinner, if you get my drift! [return]
  3. Freshmen boys, on the other hand, get the big speech about how we shouldn't rape girls because rape is bad. It's a good thing they told us that, because up 'til then I was under the impression rape was good. Learn something new everyday. [return]
  4. Her parents kept her home for the night because they wanted to explain shaving to her. [return]
  5. Remember, if you are a man and you find women attractive, you are objectifying them. How dare you enjoy the sight of a naked woman, you sexist oppressive pig. Pass the ERA now!

    Toby's dad must be whipped.

    On another note, how pissed off do you think JT's parents or grandma (whoever raises him) would get to learn some other adults forced him look at porn with them? Christ, if JT was my kid I'd call the fucking cops. [return]

  6. Hauls fat ass, that is. [return]
  7. It means Spinner is going to fail geography. [return]

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