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"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"

Season 2 Episode 3
Canadian airdate: October 6th, 2002

Boycott the Caf name: "80's Dance Episode"
Important characters: Emma, Snake, Spike, Spinner, Jimmy
Issue of the Week: Dance contests

Big news on the Emma front: Emma's mom has been called upon by ol' Mr. Simpson from up yonder over the river, so now they have begun a courtship. Emma no like this.

Also the immediate transition to the theme song was the most awkward we'll ever see.

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The high school retro 80s dance is tonight. The winner of a break dancing contest will win two tickets to a Toronto Maple Leafs game. Spinner and Jimmy plan to enter as a team, utilizing Spinner's sex appeal and Jimmy's black dancing skills.

But the dynamic duo have serious competition from Marco. This is Marco's first appearance on the show. But everyone talks like they have known him for awhile. And then a few episodes later, Spinner and Jimmy act like they have been friends with him for a long time. I wonder if the producers even decided Marco was gay at this point. Marco can break dance like a motherfuck, so I would guess yes.

Jimmy is worried that Spinner can't dance as well as Marco. Well, Jimmy can't either because everyone knows gays can dance better than blacks. Spinner can at least dance an awesome robot. He dances the robot so awesome that Super Mario music plays when he does his moves. Fucking blue ribbon is right there.

Jimmy wants to cut Spinner loose and enter the contest solo. But Spinner knows Jimmy's sinister motives when Spinner tells him, "I get it. I can't dance because I'm white...Polar bears are white I'm white. And you're a racist."

Try to argue with that logic.

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The junior high has their 80s dance during lunch. That sucks if you want to eat.

Emma is in a bad mood about her mom dating Mr. Simpson, but Emma is always in a bad mood. Everyone else is in high spirits. Check out JT and Toby. Liberty is dressed as Tina Turner (I assume) and she declares she "wants to party all the time." Ok, you know the Eddie Murphy song, that's cool of you.

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After school, Manny follows Emma home because Manny has to stay within four feet of Emma at all time. Emma is still moody and decides to crash the high school dance so she can dance with Craig, he's so dreamy. Manny is like "Ok, I'll follow you along on whatever weird adventure you want to have. That's what I do."

Check out Manny sitting like a man, letting it all hang out.

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Emma dresses as Cindy Lauper and Manny dresses as Geraldine Ferraro. The girls get so excited about Craig and the dance they jump on the bed. This is a rare time any of the kids who aren't JT or Toby actually act like little kids.

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There's Craig going to the party as Sid Vicious. Sid Vicious with a stupid hat. I'm glad after this season Degrassi stopped having that fedora pop up at random times. No one gives a shit about dropping in references from the old show. Most kids who watch The Next Generation are too young to have seen old Degrassi and most of the people who watched old Degrassi hate this version.

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Whoa. Are those a couple of prostitutes outside the school?

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Close. It's Paige and Hazel. Paige is dressed as Madonna and I think Hazel is Tina Turner. That's ridiculous. Liberty was already Tina Turner. Was there only one prominent black woman in the 80s? Why doesn't one of them go as Oprah?

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Here's Ashley and Terri. Ashley is, I don't know, Robert Smith of the Cure. Terri is Rosanne.

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Spinner is practicing his dance moves when some ladies come by, drawn to the room by his pheromones. Spinner's dancing makes the girls wet so they head straight to the bathroom to clean their pants. Spinner follows the girls, and you know he's going to bone each of them off camera. He did say he'll show them moves.

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Here's Jimmy dressed as Michael Jackson. Jimmy and Paige rag on Spinner for dressing as Vanilla Ice. I don't get that. Being Michael Jackson was cooler than Vanilla Ice until around the time we learned Michael Jackson sleeps with little boys. And that's been known, for what, fifteen years now? These kids have lived their entire lives and all that time Michael Jackson has only been known as a pedophile. At least their parent's generation remember when MJ was more than a mentally unstable freak. Dressing as Michael Jackson these days is actually kind of creepy.

The dance contest begins. Spinner hid Jimmy's dance pants so now Jimmy has to dance in his Jacko outfit. This does not work out so well for our futuristic friend, as his pants split in front of the whole crowd and they laugh. Jimmy should have seen that coming, being from the future.

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Spinner goes up to dance next. Jimmy changed his CD, so now Spinner has to dance to elevator music. Spinner is befuddled, but that's nothing. Any kid who dances all crazy to elevator music will be seen as really cool. His performance will show up on Youtube. The crowd chants Spinner on. They are all hoping his pants will split too.

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Hey, Ashley, how about you sit around and not have fun?

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Craig helped Emma and Manny sneak into the dance. Emma is hoping Craig will dance with her, but he surprises us all by asking Manny to dance. That will lead to good things.

Emma runs away crying. She gets all the way home when she sees her mom and Simpson lip locking in the bushes. Emma throws up and then has a heart to heart with her ma.

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Well, Spinner and Jimmy sabotaging each others routines has only helped Marco win the hickey tickets. Man, they should have teamed up and wrecked Marco's dance.

Jimmy and Spinner can't believe Marco won the girls, they suspect something. The girls Marco takes with him do dress like guys. Marco tells them "Hey ladies, I will make out with you, but first stick this cucumber down your pants. Oh yeah."

And that's how girls just wanna have fun.

Rating: B-
Even though this episode had Marco, he didn't say a single word, so that evens out.

Intensity Level: 15% Intense
The dance madness counts for something.

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