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This episode is part of the Sour 16 set of reviews.
Click here to see the series.

"White Wedding" Part 2

<-- Part 1


Emma is very upset that her mom is considering abortion, pointing out that if her mom had an abortion the first time, she would not have been born. "Well if you were in my shoes and made this mistake a second time," replies Spike, "Emm, no, I didn't mean it that way. Well...yeah I kind of did. I'm sorry--not really."

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JT and Toby have figured out how to see the stripper. They go back to Toby's house to put on some black clothing and have a short game of grab ass, then return to a bush in Joey's yard where they place a spy camera on his window. The idea is to watch the stripper through the camera but they instead see Raditch, which causes them to yell in horror as they already had their hands in their pants.

You got to hand it to JT and Toby, they may be pathetic as hell (even by middle school standards) but this is quite the elaborate scheme. Most young kids who want to see a naked woman just try to look at a friend's sister in the shower, but after Ashley has learned to lock the door when she uses the bathroom after their first attempt.

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The stripper Fancy arrives at the party. All the dudes are excited except for Snake who needs to honor his commitment to not having an strippers at the party or else Spike will force him to eat dog poop. Spike also ensured Snake won't be able to get an erection by making him wear a chastity belt. So Snake is just frustrated.

Also by this time, JT and Toby have fallen asleep so they will see no stripper, or Snake crying when the stripper gets to close to him, or Snake yelling at Joey for buying a stripper because looking at a naked woman is sexist.

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Emma decides she needs to tell Snake about the pregnancy herself, since her mom probably doesn't plan on telling him. When Emma arrives at Joey's, she accidentally steps on Toby's hand, waking the boys up. When JT and Toby wake up every morning they yell, which causes Joey and Snake to run outside. Joey knows what JT and Toby were up to, pulls them inside, and calls their parents. Now the two are going to be punished. Toby doesn't mind, though, his parents will probably just make him look at internet porn with them again.

Emma tells Snake about Spike's pregnancy and her considering an abortion and Snake flips out.

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It's the morning and Snake hasn't come home. He suddenly bursts through the door and yells at Spike for not telling him the news. This is the first time Snake has shown any emotion other than submissiveness toward Spike. Normally, Snake would have never dared to stand up to her. He must be placebo drunk off all the cranberry juice at the party. Spike for her part won't stand for this insolence so refuses to talk about it just to spite him.

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It's the next day and Snake and Spike are missing. This is trouble since the wedding is today and if they don't show up, two other people are going to be forced to be married to each other. The wedding hall is already paid for so they might as well use it, and the adults have decided that the backup couple will be Emma and Toby. Emma is scared shitless.

Joey and Manny have fun breathing helium. Check out the height of these two. Manny is already almost as tall as Joey. In three years, Manny is going to have six inches on him.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode twenty-eight

Snake and Spike have ran off to talk about the pregnancy. They discuss this while walking along the scenic Canadian River. The two decide to have the baby, but as precaution to make sure this does not happen again, Snake will be castrated.

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Emma has reconciled her feelings for Sean, because Emma is always screwing things up for people, so she can't blame Sean for punching her in the head. Emma goes to Sean's shack and re-invites him to the wedding. What is awesome is that Tracker is reading a girlie magazine and flashes the centerfold to Sean when he is talking to Emma. This is why Tracker rocks the night away.

Check out how sexy Sean looks in his badass leather jacket. He looks like the Canadian Fonz, unless Henry Winkler is Canadian, I'm not sure. I have a theory that every actor is either Jewish, Canadian, or from New York City.

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Snake and Spike show up at the last minute wearing their street clothes. Degrassi has decided to follow as many sitcom standards for writing a wedding episode as possible. TV weddings never go smoothly. All kinds of fuckups happen leading up to the big day and either the bride disappears because she has cold feet or the groom disappears because he went sky diving into a tomato patch or they both disappear and the wedding is saved from cancellation at the last minute. If the wedding does manage to proceed without a hitch, then the bride will call it off right at the alter and run away crying. Degrassi decided they wanted Snake and Spike to marry so they went the first route. Next year there will be a chaotic pregnancy too, because TV pregnancies need to have at least either the baby born outside a hospital or the dad missing or both.

I should also mention that JT and Toby are the ushers and nearly poop themselves when Fancy the stripper attends the wedding. They both grab her and try to lead her to a seat/touch her boobies when Fancy's boyfriend, P Diddy, steps in to lead her away.

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The reception is held on the beautiful beaches of Lake Ontario. Spike tosses the bouquet and Joey catches. Ha ha, a man catching the bride's bouquet. That has never happened before on TV. Boy, I didn't expect that! Joey's not much of a man anyway, so it's not like it matters. Meanwhile, Toby is happy that he gets to dance with Fancy, but he probably had to pay her for it.

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Some tender adult contemporary music starts playing and Emma looks around longingly for Sean. Oh, there is under the tree. He must have gotten lost or maybe he is really shy. Either way, Emma finds him and they kiss.

This has been one white wedding!

Rating: B-
I think I am being generous with this grade, considering it is an adult episode. There were a bunch of characters from the old show I did not recognize because I never saw much of the old show. Emma's white afro drives up the grade.

Intensity Level: 87% Intense
The abortion talk was intense, I suppose. But the whole pregnant before marriage thing was already done better on The Simpsons.

Deleted Scene: (What you can only see on the DVD)
There is a clip where Spike tries her wedding dress, which she picked out of a catalogue a cheap prom dresses.
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