"Hot for Teacher"Season 2 Episode 15
Canadian airdate: January 10th, 2003
In science class, JT checks out the ass on the science teacher, Ms. Hatzilakos. That JT, he's like a younger Spinner, always looking at the ladies. The only difference is that Spinner would have immediately thrown Ms. H up against the wall and boned her up the ass. Ms. H would have liked it, too.
JT instead plays with mastodon skeleton toys. What a geek. Ms. Hatzilakos has enough of JT's goofball antics and punishes him. Now JT has to come into school early everyday and help out with Ms. H's fat hamsters. Or maybe they were gerbils. I forget, and I'm not going to watch this episode over again to find out, because it's such a God damn stupid episode in the first place. Why the hell am I even bothering to review an episode this lame? It means not only do I have to watch it at least once, but then I have to sort through all these damn screencaps and recall the plotline so I can describe the fucking episode to you morons.
Well I'm not a quitter, so I am going to keep going with this review.
JT shows up early the next day to help Ms. H with their guinea pigs. That's what they are. This particular guinea pig is pregnant.
JT tries the old drop the pen to get a look at her ass trick, but it backfires when he has to pick up the pen himself so Ms. H can get a look at his virgin ass.
In Media Immersion, Toby and Sean (and apparently Mr. Simpson) question JT about his "hot time" with Ms. H, and JT indulges them. I could see Toby being geeky enough to believe that shit, but I can't believe Sean would. Sean doesn't, I'm sure, he's probably just egging JT for his own amusement. Like last year when he fed JT and Toby the aspirin pills they thought were ecstasy. The only reason Sean is ever hanging around with these two losers in the first place must be to make fun of them and steal their lunch money.
Ok, now I remember why I'm reviewing this episode, it has a Spinner B plot. Good thing Spinner is in this episode or else it would suck ass.
Anyway, it seems that Spinner has really stinky armpits. Ellie walks right up to Spinner and says "Rule #1 of puberty: Shower every day." Fuck you, Ellie, way to be rude about it. Rule #1 of life: Don't be an asshole Goth. No wonder you only have one friend.
Spinner tries to wash his armpits by using the drinking fountain. Ha. How awesome.
Ew...it's Goth Ashley. In English class, Ashley is reading a poem she wrote. It reads as follows:
Rolanda stared into the soul of the eclipse, and saw the world for what it was. A shadow of black, empty, dispersing, nothingness.You're a regular Lord Byron, there, Ashley. What a piece of shit.
Ms. Kwan asks for student reactions. Because Spinner and Jimmy recently made an honesty pact, Jimmy has to be honest and says he hated the poem. Ashley gets all Goth bitchy and says, "Well, I wouldn't expect a conformist to understand."
Ashley, your poem sucked. Deal with it.
Back in science class, Ms. H steps out, leaving the students unsupervised. JT puts balloons up his shirt and pretends he has big boobs. Everyone laughs. Toby touches them and gets aroused.
After school, Ashley comes over to Jimmy and Spinner. Ashley finally agrees her poem did suck and makes out with Jimmy for being honest. After she leaves, Spinner gets honest himself and tells Jimmy he's whipped. Spinner tells Jimmy, "You become this weak pathetic puppet when she's around, and she's the evil Puppet Master." Oh no! Ashley's the Puppet Master. Watch out Paige, Pinhead and Blade are going to fuck you up one of these nights.
Terri waddles into the Media Immersion room to find Jimmy typing up an honesty list about Spinner. Jimmy gets annoyed at Terri looking at him and says:
Jimmy: "Don't make me start a Terri list. Top item: nosy; doesn't mind own business."
Terri: "How about a Jimmy list? Top item: Always hogs the fried chicken."
Jimmy: "Terri list, #2: Keeps on breaking other people's chairs when she sits down."
Terri: "Jimmy list, #2: Always starts race riots so he can loot the Kmart."
Jimmy: "Terri - Eats too much beans and leaves giant fat people logs in the toilet."
Terri: "Jimmy - doesn't keep enough lard and butter in his fridge, so I get hungry every time I'm over."
And so on. Basically, Jimmy is black and Terri is fat. Hey, let's take a look at the list Jimmy has made.
God damn it Jimmy, you get to be friends with Spinner, don't complain about it. You should be lynched.*
* I'm not saying this because Jimmy is black. I'm saying this because Jimmy was a jerk to Spinner. Lynching should be the standard punishment for this offense, regardless of race.
Back to JT. That one guinea pig has escaped from her cage. Ms. H and JT go through some mad cap chase scenes trying to capture it.
The guinea pig flees into a hole.
After school, Jimmy shows Spinner the list and Spinner gets mad. While getting on the bus, Spinner starts complaining about Jimmy, telling him he is always at Spinner's house. Jimmy yells back, "That's because you pee on the toilet seat, and my mom doesn't want you over!" Damn straight Spinner will pee on your toilet seat. He's the alpha male and he is marking your house as his territory. Jimmy, you will bow down, bitch. Just be thankful he was courteous enough to pee in the bathroom.
Look at that guinea pig; it's so cute. Awww.... Ms. H and JT are still trying to get it out. The janitor has sprayed rat poison around, so it's a race against the clock to save the guinea pig as well as the lives of however many baby guinea pigs are born to a mother, since it's pregnant
JT gets the bright idea to turn the lights down low and play some sexy music. I guess he wanted to sleep with Ms. H right there. The guinea pig is so disturbed by the idea of that, she gets back in her cage so she can interrupt it and JT can go home.
Jimmy and Spinner are still mad at each other the next day, but when they notice that Ms. Kwan has ink smeared over their lips, they have a hearty laugh together and don't tell Ms. Kwan why. Jimmy and Spinner learn the valuable lesson that honesty blows.
Hey, if you want to hear a good Van Halen song, download "Hot for Teacher."Rating: D
I wasted a half hour of my life on this piece of shit story. Word to the producer: No one cars what JT does unless it's something geeky and perverted, like look at porn or spying on strippers. Who the hell wants to see him look after a hamster? No one but Liberty, that's who.
Intensity Level: 4% Intense
Boring. Spinner did his best to keep this episode interesting, but even Spinner knew how stupid the whole thing was and didn't bother to put a whole lot of effort into it. He just did it for the money.