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This episode is part of the Sour 16 set of reviews.
Click here to see the series.

"Tears Are Not Enough" Part 1

Season 2 Episodes 21 & 22
Canadian airdate: February 16th & 23rd, 2003

Boycott the Caf name: "Craig's Dad Dies"
Important characters: Craig, Rivers Cuomo, Joey, JT, Liberty, Paige, Spinner, Jimmy, Hazel, Ashley (An All-Star Cast!)
Issue of the Week: Death of a parent

Degrassi The Next Generation episode thirty six

Craig's dad, Dr. Rivers Cuomo, is back in town. Or I think he always was in town, just in a different neighborhood. In any case, I hope he and Joey don't shop at the same grocery store, 'cause that would be ack-WARD!

Rivers wants to reconnect with Craig, but Craig is reluctant because his dad beats the shit out of him.

(By the way, if you haven't gotten the memo, Craig's dad is Rivers Cuomo, leader of the rock band Weezer.)

Degrassi The Next Generation episode thirty six

Finals are upon our Degrassi students. Craig is having trouble with science, mainly because he and every other male in the class spends all their time checking out Ms. Hotass. You have to wonder what it was like for the actress who plays Ms. Hotass when they hired her. What did the producers tell her? "Ok, welcome to the show. Now mostly what we are going to have you do is stand around and let horny minors stare at your ass."

Degrassi The Next Generation episode thirty six

Joey's house is all dirty and Angela is crying all the time and Joey is bald. This makes Craig frustrated and he goes to his dad's house to study. Since Craig's dad is a doctor, he knows his science. He also knows how to kick Craig's ass. Craig imagines Rivers coming at him with a belt just because Craig wants to hear a song from Pinkerton. Rivers Cuomo would totally do that, rock stars are sick fucking nuts.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode thirty six

Meanwhile, JT needs help to study for his map class final exam. Liberty offers to tutor him if JT will take her to the end of year dance. JT would sooner commit seppuku, but if he fails map class he is going to flunk and have to go to the one room retarded school behind Denny's. Toby could have helped JT study, but Toby only knows the location of countries in Middle-earth.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode thirty six

Meanwhile, Craig has his science final. Before entering the classroom, Craig and Ashley do the thing where they touch knuckles together. I don't know what that is called, but I like the idea of having a girlfriend who you can do the knuckle touch thing with. Whenever I try to get a girl to move to that stage of the relationship she always says, "Stop Billy, you're moving way to fast. I think we should see other people. Also, you need to stop stealing my underwear."

Maybe that is why I don't know what kissing is like.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode thirty six

JT passes his map class final and has to dance with Liberty. He's young, he'll tough it out. He'll survive. Well, actually, he won't.

For some bizarre reason, JT assumed that he could ask Paige to the dance. Yeah, well he could ask, but then Paige would have been so insulted that geek boy would think he was on her level that she would not stop punching him in the stomach.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode thirty six Degrassi The Next Generation episode thirty six

Craig is supposed to have dinner with his dad tonight, but first he has to babysit Angie. Craig passes the time by playing Crazy Taxi. Oh, yeah, Crazy Taxi is the best. Degrassi may not know good writing, but they know good video games.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode thirty six

Joey needs Craig to babysit a little longer because Joey is on the verge of actually selling a car this year. Craig is upset but knows that Joey needs the money after he stupidly agreed to fund every sport Degrassi has. Why does Degrassi need outside sponsors anyway? It is probably the second most well funded school in North America after Harvard.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode thirty six Degrassi The Next Generation episode thirty six

Craig arrives late for dinner with his dad. Rivers try to be fine with it and and announces that he wants Craig to come with him for a summer trip to Japan. Craig is reluctant because he has a life in Canada and is dad is still scary. Rivers freaks out and kicks Craig's ass against the curb then drives off really fast.

The next day we learn that Craig's dad died, putting the chances of a new Weezer album at about as slim as they were before he died.

Now you can read Part 2. IF YOU DARE! -->
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