"Father Figure" Part 2<- Go back to Part 1
It takes retard dad a while to realize that Emma has grown up. The two have a long talk using simple words. Finally, a nurse comes in and shoos Emma away. Retard dad gets angry, but Emma gives him her address. Craig takes a picture of Emma and her dad to add to his photo album of retarded people. He has them on a Flickr account nowadays.
You know what is kind of funny? When Emma asked Shane how long he had been living in the retarded hospital, Shane said "About since I hit my head." It's kind of funny because Shane said it in a somewhat sarcastic way like Emma was stupid for not knowing that because everyone is supposed to know something like that. You'll have to watch the episode to see what I mean, I have already spent too much time explaining it.
Emma is upset over the whole thing. Craig doesn't like her attitude, because Craig points out that at least Emma has a dad, she has two. Craig doesn't even have one anymore. Emma says Craig can have of her dads. He can have his pick of either the retard or the pussy.
Emma and Craig arrive at the train station to find out they missed the last train going back to Toronto. Oh my, they're fucked. Craig calls Joey to pick them up. Joey is mad but knows better than to back talk to Craig, so he just drives them back home.
When Emma gets home, she finds that Snake and Spike are mad that she skipped school and went to see Shane. Snake tries to get her to talk, but Emma yells "You're not my real dad!" And that ends that scene.
The next day, Spike is home alone knitting. She's not very good at knitting, Snake usually has to do all the knitting, as well as cooking and cleaning. Spike also makes Snake wear tampons. Not just when she is having her period, she makes Snake wear tampons every day. The doorbell rings, and of all people, there's Shane is standing the doorway. How he got out of the retard hospital and made his way to Toronto, we'll never know.
Shane is surprised to find Spike married and with child. He asks why Spike never told him and Spike rolls her eyes and tells him, "No, I didn't have to, you're a retard." Spike is such a bitch. Fuck you Spike.
Meanwhile, back at Degrassi, Snake explains the Shane situation to Emma. It seems that after Shane got Spike pregnant, he went crazy, did some LSD and jumped off of a bridge, which knocked him retarded. His parents then put him in the retard hospital in Stouffville.
Shane starts to get angry. He trashes the house and takes the phone so Spike can't call animal control to tranquilize the angry retard. They wrestle and Shane throws Spike against a wall. Cool.
That'll show Spike that a man is the BOSS because he can kick your ass. Bet you didn't learn that in all your night school feminist studies courses.
Emma comes home. She tells Shane to calm the fuck down and give her the phone. Shane obeys.
Snake gets the call that Spike is pregnant. Don't ask what he's doing now, but it appears that he has a bunch of students with him in the ravine, probably only a few feet from the van where Jay has sex with people. Snake gets so excited he hugs Liberty! Eww. Snake comes to his sense and pushed Liberty away before running home. With no adult supervision, the other kids start hitting Liberty with rocks.
Meanwhile, Spinner did get Paige Jimmy's locker, but now Spinner has detention because Operation: Locker Swap went so well it exposed how stupid the school's original layout was. And Raditch can't stand that. Paige comes by and apologizes to Spinner, because that's what you do when you make Spinner angry and don't want to wind up dead.
Jimmy comes by to make fun of Spinner. Jimmy doesn't have to worry about angering Spinner because Jimmy can just beam back aboard the Enterprise if he is about to be harmed.
Paige makes out with Spinner to stick it to Jimmy because Jimmy has no girlfriend. Paige then sucks Spinner off, while Jimmy can do nothing but stand there and watch and be embarrassed. Spinner wins this one. Spinner always wins.
Snake runs home to find Spike hard at work pushing out the baby. Shane sits in the corner knitting.
Emma sits outside with her stupid dad. A van pulls up; it's the people who run the retard hospital. I bet they were wondering where Shane went. I wonder if they spend all day looking for him or just realized after six hours that he was missing. That place is one poorly run institution.
Well, the new baby has been born. You know, that mattress and blanket should be a hell of a lot more messier, since they just delivered a baby on it. Anyway, knowing that her real dad is stupid, Emma has accepted Snake as her father figure.
This episode has its moments but is still below average, and I would not recommend watching it if you are looking for an awesome Degrassi episode to impress your friends. Show them "Coming of Age" or "Weird Science" instead, those are way better episodes and way better Emma stories, to boot.
There were some parts I liked, though. Spinner managed to please as always. And I don't like Spike, she acted liked a stupid bitch this whole episode, so I was glad to see her get slammed around a little by the retard. Spinner brought his A game to this episode, and an Emma story with a Spinner subplot usually makes for a great show, but not this time. Well, I can't blame Spinner for this failure. Emma, go to your room. You won't be getting any dessert with your supper tonight.
Intensity Level: 55% Intense
More than half intense. Finding out Emma's father is retarded was intense, as was when retard dad went ballistic in Spike's home.