"Holiday" Part 1Season 3 Episodes 11 & 12
Canadian airdate: December 17th, 2003
oooh...A DEGRASSI SPECIAL. Ah hell, don't get your hopes up, kids. Don't let that fool you. This hour long episode is the single worst in Degrassi history. I know that's not saying a whole lot, considering how awesome Degrassi is, but God fucking damn it, I want to kill whoever came up with this episode after I torture them with a car battery while I kill and eat their children in front of them. And that'd be getting off easy. I don't know why we brought the people responsible for the Holocaust on trial, but the people who came up with "Holiday" are still roaming free in Canada. We must hunt them down and bring them to justice.
The problem with this episode is that is focuses way too much on the adults, specifically Joey's relationship with two women. The thing is, no one here at Boycott the Caf has seen Degrassi Junior High, so we don't give a fuck about the adults. We tend to even forget their names from time to time. And I bet a lot of Next Gen fans are like that too, since many of them weren't born when the original series was on. So spending so much time on fucking Joey and his problem was just confusing and annoying. No one cares.
All right, what's the first thing wrong you notice about this episode? That's right, there is snow. Considering that this show is set in Toronto during the school year, it's odd there has never been an episode before with snow. It's almost like Degrassi: the Next Generation is filmed during the summer and the producers are just sloppy when it comes to details such as the seasons of the year, but then they had to put together a Christmas episode and realized it would be weird to have a Christmas special with summer weather. Don't fret, the snow wasn't around for the last episode and will be gone by the next, so nothing unusual here. Canada often has only one week of snow, if any. Damn global warming.
Anyway, Snake, Spike, Joey, Craig, Ashley, Emma and...uh...some other people are having a holiday party. Craig is making out with Ashley when Manny calls. This trouble because Craig is dating Ashley but having secret sex with Manny. Joey drinks a lot of eggnog and gets hammered.
Meanwhile Caitlin is sad that Joey is dating some other girl. This fucking premise takes up most of "Holiday" but as far as I am fucking concerned, we're going to ignore it for this review. Fuck the adults.
The next day, Joey, Craig and Caitlin go see the Ice Capades, because Joey's daughter Angela is in it. Ice Capades are sweet.
Craig finds Manny at the Ice Capades and goes to make out with her. But Spinner is there, being a fan of Ice Capades. Craig and Manny are worried they have been found out, but Spinner is just amazed someone as lame as Craig can pull off having two ladies. He gives Craig some words of wisdom, "You have Ashley: gorgeous, smart, like a fine champagne, and then you have Manny: cute, adorable, hot, like ice cream...but hot, very hot."
Spinner has had affairs with twenty girls at onetime, so he knows what Craig is going through and recommends he keep it up by telling Craig, "I have Paige. I know she's the one. But, you, you're not sure yet. You're still sampling both. It's a try before you buy kind of deal. Not to mention, you're a big stud." You know you're a badass when Spinner is impressed by you.
Craig's a pimp.
Anyway, Craig is just fine keeping two girls and having a secret affair, but Manny wants Craig to break up with Ashley and Craig agrees to. He likes Manny better because Manny is a big slut and will have sex with him while Ashley doesn't want to and appears to hate sex. And Craig is a big rock star, being a member of the Strokes, so he wants to have sex a lot. Only Manny is a big enough whore in Canada who can satisfy Craig's penis.
Craig goes to Ashley's house to break up with her, but first Ashley gives him a really nice old guitar for Christmas. Now Craig is in a bind. He wants to end it with Ashley, but he wants to keep his sweet guitar.