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"Accidents Will Happen" Part 1

Season 3 Episodes 14 & 15
Canadian airdate: January 26th & February 9th 2004

Boycott the Caf name: "Manny Abortion Episode" or "Banned in America Episode"
Important characters: Manny
Issue of the Week: Abortion, the Craig Love Triangle (IV)

I've gotten a lot of email from American viewers who've heard a rumor that Manny got an abortion, and are asking when that happened. Well, that is this episode. And the reason most American viewers had no idea this episode existed is simple. Get ready to be rocked, fuckers. This is the episode that was so INTENSE, The-N refused to air it in the United States. You heard right, it was banned in the USA and has never been shown on American television. The thing is, this episode is too hot for TV, so it can only be shown in Canada, where it's colder, so their TV sets are cooled enough to handle the hotness. I kid there. The real reason this episode was banned is 1.) because it deals with the subject of abortion, and 2.) The-N is made up of a bunch of stupid fuckers. But I'll get into that later.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode fifty one

This episode is the aftermath of "Holiday" and the many other episodes of this season in which Craig and Manny had hot steamy sex. Manny and Ashley really hate Craig now, and Ashley hates Manny, but that's because Ashley is a bitch and hates everyone. Ellie does too, and she's a bitch as well. I hate her.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode fifty one

Manny is sick. So sick, she has to pretend throw up in a fake TV studio toilet. You don't want to make poo in one of those toilets because it's not connected to any pipes. You'll just make a mess that the assistant director of photography will have to clean up.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode fifty one

What do you know, Degrassi has a gymnastics team. That's surprising, since this is the only episode we'll see it. I guess the gymnastics season only lasts for the duration of this episode.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode fifty one Degrassi The Next Generation episode fifty one

Well, Hazel needs a tampon. Black girls never come ready for their time of the month, I tell you. Manny offers her tampon since she hasn't had to use it in a while. I guess you reuse tampons. This makes Emma suspect Manny might just maybe be pregnant, since you don't have your monthly visitor if you are with child. Manny then checks a day planner she uses to track her periods. I didn't know girls kept little PMS journals; that's something new. I'm learning more about periods than I did in "Coming of Age" when Paige told us you're not supposed to wear light colors while you're flowin'. How about the skull and cross bones on her day planner? I bet that marks a day she has sex with a pirate.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode fifty one

Manny is really nervous now, so she goes to the bathroom to seek out Paige's wisdom and Paige is in her office as usual. Manny asks Paige how to know if a boy was using a condom when they do the nasty, and Paige sure does know a thing or two about that! Paige tells her that Craig seems responsible, but next time to remember if he doesn't have a condom then it's the mouth or the butt only. "Sometimes he'll like to fuck you in between the breasts too," Paige adds. "Or you could fold your leg and let him do you in the spot behind the knee."

You know, Paige has always been Manny's mentor; I think she sees a little bit of herself in Manny and is kind of grooming Manny to be her successor when she graduates. Paige is the one that got Manny into cheerleading, told her to dress like a slut, and now is coaching her about sex. Manny should just be Paige's apprentice.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode fifty one

Anyway, it turns out Craig never used a condom. Rock stars don't make fuck with a safety net. Now Manny is really, really worried. She goes to Spike for help. Spike was knocked up in high school and the result was Emma. What a disappointment that was for Spike. She lost the rest of her childhood and all she got in return was some gawky self-righteous little bitch for a girl.

Spike has Manny take a pregnancy test and learns the awful pregnant truth: she is pregnant.

Whoa! 100% INTENSE!

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Manny gets up the courage to tell Craig he is the father. Oddly enough, instead of being upset, Craig is overjoyed that he is going to be a dad and can start a family of his own. I guess that makes sense bearing in mind that Craig's whole family is dead.

And that's the end of Part 1.

Oh wait. When The-N refused to air this episode, they still televised the scenes from each B-plot (since the B-plots have no abortions) during a Degrassi marathon. We weren't sure what the hell was going on at the time we first saw these, and why there were two Degrassi episodes that were only five minutes long, so we called these clips Degrassi Quickies, after the short Garfield Quickies at the end of Garfield and Friends.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode fifty one

The first Quickie involves Toby, who wants to attend a concert Jimmy has invited JT to, because JT rules and Toby drools. Nobody likes Toby, especially Jimmy.

Degrassi The Next Generation episode fifty one

Toby wants to be in with the brothers, so he tries to hack the school computer system to raise Jimmy's grade. This does not work out, as Toby is caught, and both he and Jimmy are sentenced to a Saturday detention. This story will continues in the next episode "Take on Me", the shitty Breakfast Club episode.

You think Toby would have made a better computer hacker. It's not like school computer systems are that damn secure to begin with, so it should have been a piece of cake for a guy who put together his own search engine two years ago to impress a girl, and even was willing to take a beating from Spinner to date his sister. Toby is so lame. Better yet, Jimmy should have just changed his grades using his high tech tools, or better yet, gone back in time to get all the answers from Albert Einstein. Jimmy has access to time travel, since he is a being from the future.

Anyway...

Onward and Upward to Part 2: Death to the Fetus ->
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