"Rock and Roll High School"Season 3 Episode 18
Canadian airdate: March 8th, 2004
This is the rock and roll episode, one of the better episodes this season, even though it features Craig and Ashley and has no Sean what so ever. Yeah I know, unless Craig is fucking Manny behind Ashley's back, Craig and Ashley episodes usually suck, but this one is pretty good. Let's get started.
Craig, Spinner, Jimmy, and Marco are in band together named Downtown Sasquatch. Pretty sweet name, I bet Spinner thought that up. The guys are going to enter a battle of the band competition in hopes of winning two days worth of studio time to record a song. That would be a great opportunity to actually come up with a song, because the band has none. Craig's coattails aren't a great thing to be holding onto boys because Craig has no talent.
Downtown Sasquatch has some stiff competition. PMS (Ashley, Paige, and Hazels' band, that for some reason now has Ellie in it) has also entered the contest. And PMS is a much more powerful band, they drove away a rapist with the power of music. Let's see Craig pull that off.
This episode highlights the hatred Ashley has for Craig, and Craig's frustration with being unable to understand why Ashley is mad he had sex with another girl while they were dating.
Hey, this episode features Chris Woodward of the Toronto Blue Jays. If I gave a shit about baseball, I might have some idea who that is.
Anyway, the guys are busy rehearsing their song, even though Craig has still not been able to come up with lyrics for it, because, again, Craig has no talent.
Ah man, it's English class, which means we're in for another of Ashley's shitty poems. At least this time it's cool because everyone actually comes out and tells Ashley her poems suck ass. You needed to hear it sometime, Ashley. That was a much needed intervention.
Meanwhile, we're treated to another Joey-Caitlin B plot, what a bummer. It seems that the plot here is that Joey injured his back and Caitlin is a dumbass. Stop playing superheroes Caitlin, you're in your thirties. Joey should have stayed with Sydney, she was hotter and not a crazy person.
At the rehearsals for battle of the bands, we get the first peek at PMS's song "Fuck You Craig" which is all about how much Ashley fucking hates Craig. Craig is not happy and still not sure why exactly Ashley dislikes him so. What did he ever do to her?
Media Immersion is the class you always confront someone in, so Craig uses that class to ask Ashley why she hates him so. At that point the two of them get into a very heated and very loud argument about Craig fucking Manny pregnant. Mr. Simpson isn't happy about that.
At Downtown Sasquatch's practice, Spinner and Jimmy have prepared their own rap since Craig can't write a song. The rap, which is titled as "Spinner's Rap" in the credits is 100% AWESOME, and goes a little something like this:
Our homey is a player
That is all
So why'd you have to go and kick his
Ball and chain
Ain't that your name
'Cause you're a playa hater and that's a shame
And chicks like you ain't worth too much
So shut up girl and
Make my lunch
Since the rap isn't gay, Marco doesn't like it, so he takes Craig outside to teach him how to scream. I don't know how this was supposed to help Craig get any good at writing a song, but Marco is really good at giving other characters advice. That's kind of his role now as the person who helps other people with their problems; he's like a gay guardian angel.
The day of the battle of the bands is at hand. PMS strut in with their new t-shirts which show Craig's face melting in a fire. Whoa. Take that Craig. That's awesome. I want a Craig burning in Hell shirt.
PMS play first. Meanwhile Craig is a no show. Liberty goes back stage with the guys and asks, "I have you down as a rock quartet. Shall I downgrade to a power trio?" Man, that's the only cool thing Liberty has ever said. I guess they brought in a new writer.
Hey, this must be the Toronto Blue Jays Chris Woodward emceeing the event. I can tell because he is using a bunch of baseball metaphors to introduce the bands. Good thing there are only two bands competing in this, because they're really aren't a whole lot of baseball metaphors to use.
Man, that guy looks like a Satanist. No wonder he likes rock music. But he must not be a very cool or high up there Satanist, since he has to deal with high school rock bands.
With Craig still nowhere to be found and Downtown Sasquatch having to go onstage, Spinner takes the helm. The audience loves it because when he's not behind the drum kit, they can stare at his bulge and be hypnotized.
But Craig comes by at the last minute with lyrics that tell what a little bitch he is. The judges agree with that and the DS wins first prize. Ashley is happy Craig admitted he sucked ass and the two patch things up.
Degrassi is ever so much the rock and roll high school.
Spinner's rap makes this episode an instant hit.
Intensity Level: 72% Intense
Man, Ashley really fucking hated Craig. Intense.